Kansas??? Uncool???
So yeah i was pretty much going to go to the Kansas/stixs concert last night and all. i have to admit i wasn't all too excited b/c i don't really listen to them but girls night out right...it would be fun. I get in a fight with my parents before i left about the driving issue...katye couldn't drive, they didn't want me to, and they wouldn't allow steph or sarah too either so i ended up showing to stephs late and very stressed out after a massive search for the cell phone. I was already really stressed b/c i hadn't finished my apush and i had lost my audition music for wind ensembel so i was screwed. I have been really stressed lately not having a study hall and just having a billion other things to do yet i am a procrastinator and too lazy to do them. I need to tell stevens that i am quiting band soon but i am scared of confrontation...i generally like band to some degree...i don't hate it...i kinda enjoy being a true band nerd...but i don't have the extra time to put into to preparing the tryout piece which i have worked incredibly hard on the last 3 years but have not succeeded. Also i am in guard so memorizing the parade toon for the final is completely pointless and a waste of my time so are the other chair tests....i am not challenged at all...i was 1st chair last year i was good...and i liked it...granted i had to practice but i liked it...now i am just stupid and was beat down by little freshmen boys and tabitha...i don't mind tabitha since she is a senior and shared a folder with me all of last year...it is the little freshmen who think they are hotshots....ah it ticks me off...also if stevens directed i would stay in...i know everyone hates him but he is a GOOD director. Unlike watkins he goes at a decent tempo and makes the music come to life. The feeling that you get whenyou play a good song and really feel itin your soul is...well incredible...how can i feel that with the whole notes i am playing as watkins conducts...he is a nice man but ahhhhhh....i enjoyed having stevens conduct last week but today we were "back in teh nursing home". i felt kinda guilty because steven was talking about how mrs watkins has already given him a list for chamber choir people even if you suck at band...i honestly have a good chance of being on it not to sound concieted but i do...i currently have 2 ensembles and a solo and they have been dropping dang hints when i go to talk to them....their hints mean little now...it frustrates me beyond belief to realize that i have wasted at least a year and a half of my life completely consumed in the idea of being in chamber choir...she thinks i don't want it b/c i am late!!!! Crap!!! she has no idea how many nights i have cried over this....i much it means to me...how low my self-esteem goes...racheal messier and i hung out all last year...we were the strong altos...said we were inseparable...talked about 2nd hour everyday...dreamed together...well i am happy for her but i feel kinda, well, screwed to be honest...our voices were relatively close...now i am stuck in the same spot that i have been forever while she is in 2nd hour in mads...simply amazing...2nd hour is not asking for much...maybe a late arrival i don't know...this sounds pathetic to those that are in it but...you just don't realize...it doesn't get bad until she starts talking incessantly about it and comparing how much we suck to them...so it isn't bad yet...ok getting back on topic so i think i might be on this list right...well if i am i don't need to quit band at all but you still have to be decent on the audition so i was going to work this weekend though i knew it was impossible considering the past 2 years i have practiced for at least a month...well so i lost the papers...is that a sign to quit???i am not a quiter dang it!!! i have never quit anything really...what if i miss it??? i might rejoin next year if i do...the only time i love band is after being in guard for 6 months...did you know we are having a winter guard next year??? i am excited...we get to compete at dance team competitions too yay!!! wonder if we will get to practice during chorus/band still for that???? no se
ok that was my complaining just in case you wondered what was happening in my life. On the bright side, student-directed play was really fun!!! I am in Diana's cast in "uncool" which is kinda cheesy but my part is kickin' awesome. Basically i am one of the leaders of the most popular group in school who make it their objective to make the new girl's life a living hell. And you know how there is a nice person and a bit** in every group??? Well yes kim is the nice one and i get to be the pain or complete brat which means i can play up my part alot and have fun with it... here are some of my lines but they are better in context:
you doing dweeb work these days?? i mean collecting for losers is so "tossed calendar"
That beth creature??? Puh-leeze. I've seen more style on a worm farm
Run Jenny!!! That remedial fashion sense might be contagious
...whew that was a close one
Harsh?! That kitty litter tried to copy my style. She ruined a perfectly good fashion find for me. you don't realize how traumatic that is!!!!
This is getting tooo Sally Jesse and Oprah for me...I'm outta here
Lost the mood to shop?? Are you diseased??? you guys are pitiful
Spare me the mercy plea. Nothing in the debutante handbook says i have to like the toad
It's not a nerf football. it is a dork detector...just watch...beth think fast...( she drops her books) ...laughing...see i found one...
so mean but it will be fun to play it up...also geoff is the jock/ditz so that will be great...yaya my guitar lessons are cancelled....time to do something productive or fun...
ok that was my complaining just in case you wondered what was happening in my life. On the bright side, student-directed play was really fun!!! I am in Diana's cast in "uncool" which is kinda cheesy but my part is kickin' awesome. Basically i am one of the leaders of the most popular group in school who make it their objective to make the new girl's life a living hell. And you know how there is a nice person and a bit** in every group??? Well yes kim is the nice one and i get to be the pain or complete brat which means i can play up my part alot and have fun with it... here are some of my lines but they are better in context:
you doing dweeb work these days?? i mean collecting for losers is so "tossed calendar"
That beth creature??? Puh-leeze. I've seen more style on a worm farm
Run Jenny!!! That remedial fashion sense might be contagious
...whew that was a close one
Harsh?! That kitty litter tried to copy my style. She ruined a perfectly good fashion find for me. you don't realize how traumatic that is!!!!
This is getting tooo Sally Jesse and Oprah for me...I'm outta here
Lost the mood to shop?? Are you diseased??? you guys are pitiful
Spare me the mercy plea. Nothing in the debutante handbook says i have to like the toad
It's not a nerf football. it is a dork detector...just watch...beth think fast...( she drops her books) ...laughing...see i found one...
so mean but it will be fun to play it up...also geoff is the jock/ditz so that will be great...yaya my guitar lessons are cancelled....time to do something productive or fun...