The meaning of life
Pretty sure no one reads this anymore. And that might be best. Just organizing my thoughts. And procrastinating a bit more. And being angst-y. What do you do when you don't enjoy where you are or what you're dong? I got here not so much because I used to love this way of life, but because it was the means to an end that I valued. And now I don't think I value that end anymore. It doesn't seem important to me or to the world necessarily. And I'm stuck in this situation where I've seen something half-way through and decided maybe I've mad a mistake. I guess if I had a new goal, it would be ok, because it would give me some direction. But I don't really have any of those right now. I'm too young and inexperienced to know what I want. What I want is a chance to move around, try some shit out, and figure out what fits. I don't think I've found it yet. I don't know where to go from here. And it feels silly to mope around and do nothing about it. If I quit now, though, I've wasted two and a half years of work. I've wasted a lot of money. I've dropped a project in the middle. And I still don't know where I'm headed. But sometimes it's just so frustrating to keep toiling away, getting little to no personal satisfaction out of it, and seriously doubting that this'll ever lead to the life I want. Damn indecision. Damn disillusionment. Damn choices. =P Damn chemistry homework. I've got a world of opportunities ahead of me, and all I feel is overwhelmed.