One of those days...
Today did not start off well...well, no, last night ended badly, and it carried over. This is not due, really, to any of the goingson around the apartment, it's more to do with my emotional state post D&C. It's as bad as Hope warned it would be...some days it's easier to deal with, certainly, than others. Like today. Days like today, I can't really function. In effort to amuse myself and take my mind off the depressing thoughts running 'round my head, I turned our bedsheet into a temporary chiton.
With blonde hair,and the curls I put it in this morning, I could pull off a feasible Aphrodite. It was fun, for a bit, dressing up. But it's still there, in the back of my mind, nagging, hurting. I may apply for the medical leave from work, which would allot me 30 days off without pay. But I'd still have my job.
If I even want to keep this job. I mean...*sigh* So much has changed. I've changed, but then, it would be unrealistic to think that I would come out of this unchanged. And I didn't think I'd stay the same. Honestly, I'd rather just talk to Keilotta or either of the Matts than actually work. And, I guess, that is a problem. I don't really want to help people there. I don't want to deal with their bullshit. If I'd gone in today, I'd have been a mess. Anything would've set me off. Anything. I was in tears on the way to the car. I hate retail. I love books, but I hate retail.
I'm thinking about applying at the Holiday Inn up the street. They need front desk people and an office assistant among other things. I could do that, and it's closer. And it would pay more. Most of the people I was very close to are gone. Those three people that are left...two of which have said they're moving on also. Matt S is transfering to White Flint, 'cause it's closer to where he works, Matt W is seeing if his other job will take him on full time. I'll miss Kielotta, but...I don't like working there anymore.
In the words of the song they've been playing at work recently "Take this job and shove it, I ain't workin' here no more."
With blonde hair,and the curls I put it in this morning, I could pull off a feasible Aphrodite. It was fun, for a bit, dressing up. But it's still there, in the back of my mind, nagging, hurting. I may apply for the medical leave from work, which would allot me 30 days off without pay. But I'd still have my job.
If I even want to keep this job. I mean...*sigh* So much has changed. I've changed, but then, it would be unrealistic to think that I would come out of this unchanged. And I didn't think I'd stay the same. Honestly, I'd rather just talk to Keilotta or either of the Matts than actually work. And, I guess, that is a problem. I don't really want to help people there. I don't want to deal with their bullshit. If I'd gone in today, I'd have been a mess. Anything would've set me off. Anything. I was in tears on the way to the car. I hate retail. I love books, but I hate retail.
I'm thinking about applying at the Holiday Inn up the street. They need front desk people and an office assistant among other things. I could do that, and it's closer. And it would pay more. Most of the people I was very close to are gone. Those three people that are left...two of which have said they're moving on also. Matt S is transfering to White Flint, 'cause it's closer to where he works, Matt W is seeing if his other job will take him on full time. I'll miss Kielotta, but...I don't like working there anymore.
In the words of the song they've been playing at work recently "Take this job and shove it, I ain't workin' here no more."