Decisions Decisions Decisions
So... there's been some agony of late... I don't know if you could tell (or if all my blathering whining has driven you from my LJ entirely.)
I think I'm going to go back to school.
I don't know where particularly but I've been looking around. There is a program with UO in Portland so I might move that direction, but then, I might decide to go overseas somewhere and do something in that manner. We shall see how the specifics work out.
I'm hoping to do something with photography/digital art.
I love being a teacher and maybe I'll come back to it, but I'm not going to be a teacher this way anymore.
And also, I'm hoping to get my buttocks out of my parents' house sometime soonish.
How this came about:
1. I have spent probably the last month crying periodically about everything.
2. I had what amounted to a crappy birthday... not because I'm not loved or that folks weren't awesome enough to send well-wishes (they did all those things an I know that I am loved)... but because it was a reminder of all the failures that have occurred because I just couldn't move from them.
3. I talked to Elizabeth and Holly at the bar last week. These two want me to head overseas somewhere because I'm unattached -- no kids, no romantic attachment, no pets I own on my own, etc. -- and how there's this freedom. There's also a "get away from your parents and choose differently," and maybe that would happen. Elizabeth did say something to the effect of not making a decision is just the same as deciding against stuff because doors close on you either way... just in not deciding you don't get the sting of being said, "no," to.
All that was in my head. Has been in my head.
So, the other day, my mom went out and bought these three lovely picture frames -- big ones with a space for an 8 by 10 -- because she wanted to put some of my photos in them. It was a whole process editing the pictures and picking which ones to use and we had a discussion of how to actually make art/creativity a profession. I don't know if I'll be able to be successful at it... but I'm hoping to do something different, to change up my life, and to choose not to be stuck anymore.
I think I'm going to go back to school.
I don't know where particularly but I've been looking around. There is a program with UO in Portland so I might move that direction, but then, I might decide to go overseas somewhere and do something in that manner. We shall see how the specifics work out.
I'm hoping to do something with photography/digital art.
I love being a teacher and maybe I'll come back to it, but I'm not going to be a teacher this way anymore.
And also, I'm hoping to get my buttocks out of my parents' house sometime soonish.
How this came about:
1. I have spent probably the last month crying periodically about everything.
2. I had what amounted to a crappy birthday... not because I'm not loved or that folks weren't awesome enough to send well-wishes (they did all those things an I know that I am loved)... but because it was a reminder of all the failures that have occurred because I just couldn't move from them.
3. I talked to Elizabeth and Holly at the bar last week. These two want me to head overseas somewhere because I'm unattached -- no kids, no romantic attachment, no pets I own on my own, etc. -- and how there's this freedom. There's also a "get away from your parents and choose differently," and maybe that would happen. Elizabeth did say something to the effect of not making a decision is just the same as deciding against stuff because doors close on you either way... just in not deciding you don't get the sting of being said, "no," to.
All that was in my head. Has been in my head.
So, the other day, my mom went out and bought these three lovely picture frames -- big ones with a space for an 8 by 10 -- because she wanted to put some of my photos in them. It was a whole process editing the pictures and picking which ones to use and we had a discussion of how to actually make art/creativity a profession. I don't know if I'll be able to be successful at it... but I'm hoping to do something different, to change up my life, and to choose not to be stuck anymore.