The Tangled Linseys We Weave
There's been some random crying and general unpleasantness about the following things:
1. Despite trying to be optimistic about subbing again this year, I'm not feeling optimistic. I didn't make enough to move out last year, and I'm not sure i can/will this year. Unfortunately, there's my stubbornness mixed in there in that I imagine I could move reasonably easily if I was working two jobs... but, selfishly and probably arogantly and maybe stupidly, I don't want to work two jobs just to make it.
2. Feeling very much like behaving well, doing the right thing, and being honest has gotten me nowhere. I know we live in a world that is very "what's right for you isn't right for me?" relativist bologna where we balance our cosmic score cards against each other and fudge points here and there and, certainly, I know that I am imperfect and immoral at times. Except that, I feel like I push to be honest -- like trying to not downplay my Spanish skills in interviews, etc. -- but it seems like all around me there are people who don't care about anybody else, bend the truth to suit themselves or their purposes (and it seems like omission is the big one that "doesn't count" as a lie), and stomp all over everything and prosper.
Of course, these are feelings and with feelings comes difficulty with true and good discernment so maybe the prosperity that I see with the people I know who are fudging points on their cosmic scorecard is not really prosperity at all. The stupid thing is that, while I'm jealous of that prosperity, to the point at which presently I'm definity in the dumper, I don't want it to be taken away from them... I just want a little for me.
In other news, whilst struggling with this fun set of fun-fun feelings, my folks were kind enough to enlist a personal trainer that my mom worked with for awhile. He's cute and nice and has a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure he can't remember my name because he never actually says it when he sees me but he was very impressed that I knew pigs do not actually sweat but horses do.
So far, I'm supposed to write down what I eat and I have to take a fitness test on Thursday with my mom.
FRIDAY FOOD:
Breakfast Oops, nothing. Forgot to eat.
Lunch Medium Yumm Bowl and Teriyaki chicken skewer (Do non-Eugenian's have Cafe Yumms around?)
Dinner Taco Hell -- 2 Gordita Supremes, 1 taco supreme
Snack/other Healthy Choice Fudge Bar
1. Despite trying to be optimistic about subbing again this year, I'm not feeling optimistic. I didn't make enough to move out last year, and I'm not sure i can/will this year. Unfortunately, there's my stubbornness mixed in there in that I imagine I could move reasonably easily if I was working two jobs... but, selfishly and probably arogantly and maybe stupidly, I don't want to work two jobs just to make it.
2. Feeling very much like behaving well, doing the right thing, and being honest has gotten me nowhere. I know we live in a world that is very "what's right for you isn't right for me?" relativist bologna where we balance our cosmic score cards against each other and fudge points here and there and, certainly, I know that I am imperfect and immoral at times. Except that, I feel like I push to be honest -- like trying to not downplay my Spanish skills in interviews, etc. -- but it seems like all around me there are people who don't care about anybody else, bend the truth to suit themselves or their purposes (and it seems like omission is the big one that "doesn't count" as a lie), and stomp all over everything and prosper.
Of course, these are feelings and with feelings comes difficulty with true and good discernment so maybe the prosperity that I see with the people I know who are fudging points on their cosmic scorecard is not really prosperity at all. The stupid thing is that, while I'm jealous of that prosperity, to the point at which presently I'm definity in the dumper, I don't want it to be taken away from them... I just want a little for me.
In other news, whilst struggling with this fun set of fun-fun feelings, my folks were kind enough to enlist a personal trainer that my mom worked with for awhile. He's cute and nice and has a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure he can't remember my name because he never actually says it when he sees me but he was very impressed that I knew pigs do not actually sweat but horses do.
So far, I'm supposed to write down what I eat and I have to take a fitness test on Thursday with my mom.
FRIDAY FOOD:
Breakfast Oops, nothing. Forgot to eat.
Lunch Medium Yumm Bowl and Teriyaki chicken skewer (Do non-Eugenian's have Cafe Yumms around?)
Dinner Taco Hell -- 2 Gordita Supremes, 1 taco supreme
Snack/other Healthy Choice Fudge Bar