Questions of science, science and progress
Please forgive my insanely long hiatus from writing, but now that college is officially over (hooray!), I may just have more time to express my thoughts here. In the meantime, I am applying for jobs here, so hopefully the succeeding lines of my musings can answer themselves. I invite my treasured reading audience to consider these thoughts along with me:
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There has been a little ethical battle I’ve been having, and the chorus from Elbow’s song ‘Station Approach’ best sums up how I’ve felt:
I never know what I want but I know when I’m low that
I need to be in the town where they know what I’m like and don’t mind.
It’s almost ironic to me that it was penned by a Brit. These people are so private, so concealed, and so alike every other Brit I meet that at times I wonder if I’m all alone in my proud individuality. Whereas I relished in being myself when I was home, going grocery shopping in whatever I had on, and behaving as the silly goon that lies within me, all of that suddenly becomes strictly unacceptable.
Americans take a certain patriotic pride in everything about them. What we think, what we wear, where we live, and what we do becomes topics for definition. We tolerate others who think differently (most of the time) and if not, debate is usually welcomed as a battleground of wits and intellect. Most of the time, it doesn’t take very long to get to know someone because we are proud of what we think, what we wear, and the stuff that makes us who we are.
Now, take an American and put her in a society where there are subtle social codes woven deep within the culture that can only be acquired over time.
That in itself is a culture shock. Not to introduce the opportunity for cheap shots of ‘Americans are simpletons’, but we like things straightforward. Simple. Like our roads, menus, and manner of speaking. We aren’t going to fluff it up just to make you’re day. We’re going to put it in your face if that’s what it takes to get the point across.
So what are the codes I’ve learned so far? [Let me first say that Nick is excluded from these rules; he accepts every bit of American I am-even if it means a lot of grounds for teasing] Don’t say what’s really on your mind-use the polite, non-obtrusive version. Don’t dress like you’re from anywhere but Europe if you want friends. Don’t argue anyone, don’t be openly impatient with idiots, and accept the fact that no one here makes friends with people they meet in public. Pay attention to other people but only for the purpose of staying out of their way…unless you see other females who are either (1) threatening you with mocking glances due to their superior beauty or (2) feeling threatened by your perceived superiority in beauty.
I would like to state, however, that overall the people here are quite nice. They are polite (if not to a fault), and when you find a friend, you often keep them for life around here--something that is a bit harder to say of some American friends I've had. I do not intend to besmirch the UK population, only I seek to better understand it in order to interact with it more successfully.
Whatever happened to simplicity? No one here appreciates foam sword fights in toy aisles or wacky car dancing meant solely to enjoy some tunes and amuse onlookers in the process-even kids don’t really act like kids because they’re trying so hard to be cool. Only few people even acknowledge my cheerful smiles as they pass me on the sidewalk. Heck, I nearly scared a guy the other day when I gasped excitedly at the site of tiramisu ice cream [hey, it was a big deal!].
I’m hoping to either disarm someone’s tough reservations or find a way to understand this scene without giving up who I am. I’m not sure which will win, because I might not have a choice if I want to make some meaningful friendships here. Now, I admit fear of making friends because I don’t know if I can be myself-and I’d rather have no friends than relationships like that.
So, who is responsible for the cultural adaptation? Should I be modifying my behaviour to suit the social structures I find here, or will I have to wait and find someone who will accept me as I am?
♫♫ The wonderful thing about Linnies is that I’m the only one…right?!
==============================================================================
There has been a little ethical battle I’ve been having, and the chorus from Elbow’s song ‘Station Approach’ best sums up how I’ve felt:
I never know what I want but I know when I’m low that
I need to be in the town where they know what I’m like and don’t mind.
It’s almost ironic to me that it was penned by a Brit. These people are so private, so concealed, and so alike every other Brit I meet that at times I wonder if I’m all alone in my proud individuality. Whereas I relished in being myself when I was home, going grocery shopping in whatever I had on, and behaving as the silly goon that lies within me, all of that suddenly becomes strictly unacceptable.
Americans take a certain patriotic pride in everything about them. What we think, what we wear, where we live, and what we do becomes topics for definition. We tolerate others who think differently (most of the time) and if not, debate is usually welcomed as a battleground of wits and intellect. Most of the time, it doesn’t take very long to get to know someone because we are proud of what we think, what we wear, and the stuff that makes us who we are.
Now, take an American and put her in a society where there are subtle social codes woven deep within the culture that can only be acquired over time.
That in itself is a culture shock. Not to introduce the opportunity for cheap shots of ‘Americans are simpletons’, but we like things straightforward. Simple. Like our roads, menus, and manner of speaking. We aren’t going to fluff it up just to make you’re day. We’re going to put it in your face if that’s what it takes to get the point across.
So what are the codes I’ve learned so far? [Let me first say that Nick is excluded from these rules; he accepts every bit of American I am-even if it means a lot of grounds for teasing] Don’t say what’s really on your mind-use the polite, non-obtrusive version. Don’t dress like you’re from anywhere but Europe if you want friends. Don’t argue anyone, don’t be openly impatient with idiots, and accept the fact that no one here makes friends with people they meet in public. Pay attention to other people but only for the purpose of staying out of their way…unless you see other females who are either (1) threatening you with mocking glances due to their superior beauty or (2) feeling threatened by your perceived superiority in beauty.
I would like to state, however, that overall the people here are quite nice. They are polite (if not to a fault), and when you find a friend, you often keep them for life around here--something that is a bit harder to say of some American friends I've had. I do not intend to besmirch the UK population, only I seek to better understand it in order to interact with it more successfully.
Whatever happened to simplicity? No one here appreciates foam sword fights in toy aisles or wacky car dancing meant solely to enjoy some tunes and amuse onlookers in the process-even kids don’t really act like kids because they’re trying so hard to be cool. Only few people even acknowledge my cheerful smiles as they pass me on the sidewalk. Heck, I nearly scared a guy the other day when I gasped excitedly at the site of tiramisu ice cream [hey, it was a big deal!].
I’m hoping to either disarm someone’s tough reservations or find a way to understand this scene without giving up who I am. I’m not sure which will win, because I might not have a choice if I want to make some meaningful friendships here. Now, I admit fear of making friends because I don’t know if I can be myself-and I’d rather have no friends than relationships like that.
So, who is responsible for the cultural adaptation? Should I be modifying my behaviour to suit the social structures I find here, or will I have to wait and find someone who will accept me as I am?
♫♫ The wonderful thing about Linnies is that I’m the only one…right?!