oh the humanity
Why can't I get a break?? Seriously.
I get a job at Random Portrait Studio. Everything's groovy. I screw up every now and then, but hey, I'm new. Big whoop. I'm getting better with time and practice. I work hard. I prove I'm reliable. I work my ass off every chance I get. I come in at a moment's notice. I cover other people's shifts. I sell big, even if it kills me inside.
Then, Lii!Parents are not satisfied with one job. They tell me to get another. Enter Big Chain Store Corp. BCSC offers me a seasonal temp job. Lii!Mommy is thrilled that BCSC wants to hire me. Whoopie. Except now it's the holiday season, and RPS starts needing me even more. BCSC wants me to come in for training. Except RPS has me scheduled to work at that time, too. I try to get someone to cover for me at RPS. No one is willing, even though I covered for them. I go to RPS manager. She flips her shit at me. I feel bad. I tell Lii!Parents. They tell me that no one at RPS is looking out for me or cares. They tell me to drop RPS and go with BCSC. I don't want to. RPS has offered me security after the holiday season, and BCSC is only a seasonal job. I want to do them both, but everyone is telling me to go with one or the other.
In short? FUCK. MY. LIFE. I mean, WHY is it that whenever I get a fucking job, everything goes to shit? One of my friends has been working at the same place since she was FIFTEEN. HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN? In other words, WHY THE FUCK TO I KEEP GETTING SHITTY JOBS THAT KILL ME INSIDE, DRAIN ME, AND FUCK UP MY LIFE?
Honestly, I'm contemplating just saying "Fuck it" and quitting everything. But then I won't be able to go back to art school, and I'd rather die than go to some other place for something else. No, seriously. I'm not being emo, I'm not being dramatic. I would rather beat myself senseless than get a degree in marketing or accounting or what have you. So basically, I'm backed into a corner again.
Sometimes I wonder what the point to living through all this is. I mean, every step of "growing up" has basically meant suffering and pain. Don't believe me? It sucks, growing up. If this is how adulthood is, I don't want to be an adult. I don't give a damn about sex or alcohol. Being a kid is nice - you don't have problems that you have to drink away into oblivion so you can sleep. You're ignorant. You don't have any real responsibilities. Kids have it easy. Adult life sucks ass. Why is everyone in such a hurry to grow up?
AUGH.
So if I'm not on ANYWHERE for a bit, that's why. Someone mercy kill me before I drive off into the night and never come back. BLOODY HELL.
I get a job at Random Portrait Studio. Everything's groovy. I screw up every now and then, but hey, I'm new. Big whoop. I'm getting better with time and practice. I work hard. I prove I'm reliable. I work my ass off every chance I get. I come in at a moment's notice. I cover other people's shifts. I sell big, even if it kills me inside.
Then, Lii!Parents are not satisfied with one job. They tell me to get another. Enter Big Chain Store Corp. BCSC offers me a seasonal temp job. Lii!Mommy is thrilled that BCSC wants to hire me. Whoopie. Except now it's the holiday season, and RPS starts needing me even more. BCSC wants me to come in for training. Except RPS has me scheduled to work at that time, too. I try to get someone to cover for me at RPS. No one is willing, even though I covered for them. I go to RPS manager. She flips her shit at me. I feel bad. I tell Lii!Parents. They tell me that no one at RPS is looking out for me or cares. They tell me to drop RPS and go with BCSC. I don't want to. RPS has offered me security after the holiday season, and BCSC is only a seasonal job. I want to do them both, but everyone is telling me to go with one or the other.
In short? FUCK. MY. LIFE. I mean, WHY is it that whenever I get a fucking job, everything goes to shit? One of my friends has been working at the same place since she was FIFTEEN. HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN? In other words, WHY THE FUCK TO I KEEP GETTING SHITTY JOBS THAT KILL ME INSIDE, DRAIN ME, AND FUCK UP MY LIFE?
Honestly, I'm contemplating just saying "Fuck it" and quitting everything. But then I won't be able to go back to art school, and I'd rather die than go to some other place for something else. No, seriously. I'm not being emo, I'm not being dramatic. I would rather beat myself senseless than get a degree in marketing or accounting or what have you. So basically, I'm backed into a corner again.
Sometimes I wonder what the point to living through all this is. I mean, every step of "growing up" has basically meant suffering and pain. Don't believe me? It sucks, growing up. If this is how adulthood is, I don't want to be an adult. I don't give a damn about sex or alcohol. Being a kid is nice - you don't have problems that you have to drink away into oblivion so you can sleep. You're ignorant. You don't have any real responsibilities. Kids have it easy. Adult life sucks ass. Why is everyone in such a hurry to grow up?
AUGH.
So if I'm not on ANYWHERE for a bit, that's why. Someone mercy kill me before I drive off into the night and never come back. BLOODY HELL.