getting reeeeeeally frustrated.
So this boy and I have been talking. We've both been kinda into each other and flirty with each other for awhile, but we came to the conclusion the other day that nothing could come of it for various reasons. Now things are incredibly awkward between us, and I find it hard to be around him without feeling like shit. Not because I feel like I've been denied a relationship, but rather because of this horrible cycle of bullshit we've got going on. He feels uncomfortable around me coz he feels like we're getting too close, so he backs off and tries to compensate in his relationships with other girls. This in turn makes me feel like shit, so I blow him off. This makes him feel kinda like shit, so he continues to ignore me and the nastiness continues until I get up the courage to talk to him and we start back at square one... until it starts to feel 'too close'. He says he wants to be friends, but what kind of friend can I be if he's ignoring me? I get the sinking suspicion he doesn't really like me all that much, that he just wanted a little play from me, and now that he's established the confines of our non-relationship, he can feel feel free to ignore me when I'm not flirting and 'putting out' (not literally, mind you).
I can't be his friend. He doesn't care enough about me to acknowledge me. I don't think he really wants me in his life, I mean, sometimes I feel like the "let's be friends" thing was just to make him feel like less of an asshole. What hurts me the most, though, is that I think if I were to write him off and remove him from my life he would be perfectly content and perhaps even grateful.
Where do I go from here? He's in my section, so he's in 2 or 3 of my classes every day. I see him nearly 40 hours a week. Do I ignore him? Do I pretend like he's not there? Or do I keep trying to be his friend and hope that this is just an awkward phase we're going through while establishing the boundaries of our relationship?
Maybe he's just full of shit and he's pissing me off. I'm at the point where I figure he'll come to me if my behaviour bothers him. If not, it can't possibly mean that much to him. I can't possibly mean that much to him.
I can't be his friend. He doesn't care enough about me to acknowledge me. I don't think he really wants me in his life, I mean, sometimes I feel like the "let's be friends" thing was just to make him feel like less of an asshole. What hurts me the most, though, is that I think if I were to write him off and remove him from my life he would be perfectly content and perhaps even grateful.
Where do I go from here? He's in my section, so he's in 2 or 3 of my classes every day. I see him nearly 40 hours a week. Do I ignore him? Do I pretend like he's not there? Or do I keep trying to be his friend and hope that this is just an awkward phase we're going through while establishing the boundaries of our relationship?
Maybe he's just full of shit and he's pissing me off. I'm at the point where I figure he'll come to me if my behaviour bothers him. If not, it can't possibly mean that much to him. I can't possibly mean that much to him.