OH MY GOD I LOVE TOBY SO MUCH AND THIS IS RIPPING ME INTO A MILLION PIECES!!
this is exactly why my mom told me not to get involved with guys
my mom has always told me that i need to save myself for marriage
and i finally see why she said it
and exactly what she was talking about
he already knows i hate what ive done
but hes still freaking out becasue there's more stuff that i havent told him about
he doesnt get why i did stuff with ppl when i wasnt in love with them... and i dont get it either.
ive always been lonely
and guys have always treated me like shit
so i guess you could say i took what i could get. which is totally messed up and sick
i regret all the things that i have done with guys. ALL OF IT. i hate the guys ive been around. HATE. and i know you're not supposed to hate but i really do hate ryan. and i really hate ray cause he used me. and i hate charlie cause he used me to get back at his girlfriend. and i hate sky cause he was a player. and i hate... i just hate it.
and i envy him.
i feel more for him than i ever thought i would about anyone.
and this whole "my past" is just causing him so much pain.
i didnt tell him about all of the shit ive done because it's not important to me. it hasnt affected me.
and quite frankly, i forgot about it.
that makes me feel like complete trash.
but im not anything like that.
i regret EVERYTHING i have EVER done with ANY GUY!!!
and i dont know how to make him feel better about it.
i told him not read my fucking journal. but he had to anyway.
he just "had to"
i told him not to and he did it anyway. and now he's freaking out about it.
OH MY GOD I LOVE TOBY SO MUCH AND THIS IS RIPPING ME INTO A MILLION PIECES!!
my mom has always told me that i need to save myself for marriage
and i finally see why she said it
and exactly what she was talking about
he already knows i hate what ive done
but hes still freaking out becasue there's more stuff that i havent told him about
he doesnt get why i did stuff with ppl when i wasnt in love with them... and i dont get it either.
ive always been lonely
and guys have always treated me like shit
so i guess you could say i took what i could get. which is totally messed up and sick
i regret all the things that i have done with guys. ALL OF IT. i hate the guys ive been around. HATE. and i know you're not supposed to hate but i really do hate ryan. and i really hate ray cause he used me. and i hate charlie cause he used me to get back at his girlfriend. and i hate sky cause he was a player. and i hate... i just hate it.
and i envy him.
i feel more for him than i ever thought i would about anyone.
and this whole "my past" is just causing him so much pain.
i didnt tell him about all of the shit ive done because it's not important to me. it hasnt affected me.
and quite frankly, i forgot about it.
that makes me feel like complete trash.
but im not anything like that.
i regret EVERYTHING i have EVER done with ANY GUY!!!
and i dont know how to make him feel better about it.
i told him not read my fucking journal. but he had to anyway.
he just "had to"
i told him not to and he did it anyway. and now he's freaking out about it.
OH MY GOD I LOVE TOBY SO MUCH AND THIS IS RIPPING ME INTO A MILLION PIECES!!