generic terms of address for children

[dustthouart]

In English, if you need to address a child that you don't know the name of, most commonly you use some kind of mild endearment ("buddy" and "sweetie" seeming to be the main choices that I hear; "kid" is a little less polite, but not necessarily nasty). There isn't any real standard term, though, and if you're addressing a group of children, there's

Comments

[sidheag]

I wouldn't use any such term for an individual child that I didn't know (the idea of addressing a child I didn't know as "buddy" or "sweetie" makes my skin crawl - seems creepy). For a group of children, I would avoid using such a term if I could, but might fall back on "children" if, say, I needed to get the attention of a whole group of them. If I knew a descriptor of the group ("Class 3", "School X Rugby team") I'd use that.

You do hear "sweetie", "dear", "pal", but I think from the same people who'd call an unknown adult "mate" or "luv" or whatever, which similarly I wouldn't do. (I use "Sir" or "Madam" if I absolutely have to.)

(Native British English speaker)

[dorsetgirl]

I use "Sir" or "Madam" if I absolutely have to.

Oh yes, I hate those too. Used to be only the police used it in a polite sense, which was fair enough, but nowadays any underpaid teenager trying to flog me something on the phone uses "Madam". Presumably their bosses are also a lot younger than me and don't realise how incredibly old-fashioned - at best - it sounds.

[browncoatrebel]

In the US, particularly in the Deep South, "sir" and "ma'am" are considered polite, and you're expected to use them when speaking to anyone older or higher up in the chain of command than you are (e.g., bosses, even if younger than you).

[nakedneurosis]

this is what i was thinking. i was raised to say sir and m'am to any adult, including my mom and dad. i say it probably 3892093091 times a day at my job.

[ciroccoj]

I hear and use both all the time in Ontario, not just when addressing elders or superiors but when addressing anyone you don't know who is over 18. Though as an under-30 woman you still get "Miss" fairly often.

[dorsetgirl]

Is it just the "Deep South", or other parts of the US as well? To me, it's one of the markers of American speech. There's a Dick Francis book - can't remember the title - where a character calls out to our hero, "Sir, can you help us?" It's very plain from context that the reader is intended to recognise from this - as indeed I did - that the character is American, even without the accent being mentioned

[ciroccoj]

Huh. Interesting. I'm from Canada (southeastern Ontario), and Sir and Ma'am are extremely common here. I don't normally hear Madam, though; that's usually said only by persons wishing to sound snooty, and probably putting on an outrageously fake British accent ;)

[paulistano]

As someone who grew up in the West (California to be exact) and is now living in the South (D.C.), I can tell you that one of the distinguishing things in speech here is the use of sir/ma'am.

Where I grew up, I'd only use Sir or Ma'am if the person was really old or if they were my boss who I was trying to impress.

[di_glossia]

I am from the South, but I think it's more a mark of customer service speech in many cases. You would always call a customer sir, ma'am, or madam (used in fine dining restaurants). The particularity in Southern speech is simply how often and how applicable the sir and ma'aming (no, that's not a word) is. It's similar to tu and vous in French or du and Sie in German in the rules of use. The courtesy is also extended to women in particular, with young girls being called Miss. I don't know how common it is in other areas, but Miss X (with X being the first name) is certainly used for unmarried women.

[browncoatrebel]

I can't speak for the entire country, but I know it was done a little bit in Iowa when I lived there. I live in Massachusetts now, and I almost never hear it. But growing up in Alabama, I had it drilled into me to say "Yes sir/ma'am" to adults, both by my family and by public school teachers.

[alirose]

How would you adress a child you don't know? Say, if you were in a public place and you found a lost, crying 4 year old and you wanted to help them.

[sidheag]

I'd get on their level and say "Hello - what's up? Can I help? Have you lost your mummy or daddy?". No need to call the child anything at all. I find it pretty hard to imagine any circumstance when I'd need a form of address, and this whole question seems a bit weird!

[ciroccoj]

Huh. It sounded pretty normal to me. Maybe it's a British/North American difference?

What would you call out to a small child who seemed lost in a loud place, if you couldn't easily reach them?

[sayga]

I wonder if it's a has kids/doesn't have kids difference, or maybe just how much time one spends around kids. It sounds like the (pre)schoot teachers all have names they would use. I don't know what I would have said to a little kid before having my own kids. I might not have even tried talking to the very small ones and would've probably asked bigger ones their name. I wouldn't do that NOW, and would say "kiddo" to an individual kid or "hey kids" to address a group. I call my two daughters, "Ladies," sometimes. They're 4 and 7, so def not ladies yet.

[sidheag]

I have an 8yo, fwiw, who I'm sure would give you a Hard Stare if you called him "kiddo" (he would think you were insulting or at least patronising him)! This is linguaphiles, remember, so what I'm saying is "in my sociolinguistic dialect, it isn't normal to use a address-word when you talk to someone whose name you don't know". It may seem odd to you, but that's how it is!

[ciroccoj]

I think what we're saying is also, "In our sociolinguistic dialect, it is neither weird nor creepy nor alarming when an adult calls a child they don't know 'sweetie' or 'buddy.' Nor is it patronizing to be called Sir or Ma'am by another adult." It may seem odd to you, but that's how it is ;)