Incoming rant, ahoy!
While it may not need to be said, I want to cover all my bases and put up a disclaimer that this rant is specifically about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have nothing against organized religion in general. In fact, a few years ago I was strongly considering going back to the LDS church (I briefly, and I do mean briefly, attended as a young teen) - as it had been the only church experience I have known, and probably would be still considering it were it not for what I'd learned in my Google research (most of which will be what I express to below).
I've been hit by the marriage bug (in the, "Where is my knight in shining armor I want to get married now!" sense), so I've been doing a lot of "research" about marriage, and mostly what I'd do for my wedding when it finally comes around (most of which has been chronicled in my Tumblr here). Some of the research, however, has been for an RP wedding I was planning with my RP partner. Both characters in said RP were Catholic, so I did some research on Catholic weddings (since I'm a stickler for accuracy/details in my RPing).
This is what led me to my research of Mormon weddings. I had this thought to myself about, "Hmm... if I hadn't had to be pulled out of church 10-11 years ago, what would my wedding have been like?" and Google was my answer.
Now, on the surface, a Mormon wedding ceremony doesn't seem all that bad. You go to one of their temples and have what is called a "sealing," which essentially ties the couple to each other for eternity, even beyond death. How romantic, right? (This seems to be the best account of a Mormon sealing that I have come across)
Could be... but once you get further into the details of a Mormon wedding, you start learning exactly why I refuse to have one (and thus, refuse to ever go back to the Mormon church).
To be allowed into a Mormon temple, you are required to get a "temple recommend" from your local bishop, which requires you to be in good standing with the church. This also means that only people with temple recommends are able to witness your wedding.
Which means, in my case, my entire family? Unable to see me get married (they would have to wait outside the temple). And that does not fly with me. (And also confuses me, because the LDS church puts such a strong emphasis on family, yet alienates families on the one day that should be about uniting them.)
Making me give up my dream dress due to having to wear a church approved Temple dress? Fine. Some of those dresses aren't so bad. Requiring endowment (and therefore making me wear that infamous "Mormom underwear" for the rest of my life) before the sealing? Not something I would do otherwise, but for love I'd probably do it. Not allowing me a bridal party, or having my father walk me down the aisle (it's not done in the temple)? Disappointing, because part of the fun for me is picking out my bridesmaids, but I'll live with it.
Excluding my entire family from even viewing the ceremony? That's a line you don't cross.
"But Erika," you may be wondering, "Why not have a civil ceremony so your family can attend, then go on your own with your now husband and have the religious ceremony in the temple?" And in my head that was one of the options I considered. Having a public civil ceremony for my family, and then a private sealing for myself and my hypothetical husband.
However, and this is something else that pissed me off: in the US, the LDS Church "punishes" couples who went that route (got married in a non-religious or non-Mormon ceremony first), by making them wait a year to be allowed to get sealed, which is total bullshit. (I do not know if the one year wait rule applies if the couple marries in a regular Mormon church. Anyone is allowed in a Mormon church, only approved members are allowed in a Mormon temple.)
Of course, I would take back all of this and keep it as a possible option (though at that point it'd be only if I met a Mormon man and fell for him), if there were one change made to sealing process: open the sealing room, and only the sealing room (well, and obviously the entrance/exit) to the public (or barring that, eliminating the one year wait - if it exists in this case - for couples who marry in a Mormon church first). Of course, that would require them possibly having to add certain "Mormon only" aspects to the wedding to keep it special, and that's fine by me. Non-Catholics don't recieve communion during a nuputal mass, and non-Jews don't wear kippot at a Jewish wedding.
Therefore, it'd be totally cool and understandable for sealings to exclude non-Mormons from aspects of the ceremony. Aspects, people, not the entire fucking thing.
And I'm done.