(no subject)
i would looove to tell you my life is perfect right now, but i'd be lieing. i'm not exactly riding the gravy boat. it really sucks. i was at such a high in life oh, about a month ago or acutally even 2 weeks ago but for the past 2 weeks it has all slowing been decreasing and i don't know how much more shittyness i can take. well the guy i liked so so much doesn't acknoweledge my existence anymore. and to top that off my "bff" has been the shady lady & shes making a big deal out of something bc she thinks im makin a big deal outta it but im trying to forget it and like MOVE ON. come on we're seniors in highschool right, we are 17 almost 18years old. LETS ACT IT. lets get a grip on ourselves. the only reason why i was in fact being an oversensitive jerk on monday was the fact that monday is december 5th and anyone who knows ME nad knows me WELL knows thats the day my brother died. SO obviously im going to cry when i want to talk to her about it and she definitely acted like she was pissed off at me. i just wanted to talk to her about it and she like totally ignored me when i even tried to have a general convo so i then infact realized that i obviously wasnt going to get to talk to her about my brother being dead 13years. i ask her if shes mad at me but shes like no i just had a bad weekend and then she turns around and is like allmiss nicey nice to leanne (who was btw a former friend of ours until she turned into a stark raving bitch). yeah that def. hurt my feelings that she said that she was being distant bc she had a nbad weekend then turns around and is all friendly to leanne. some people may question whether this is a jealousy issue and no its not anymore at first when they first started being friends again i was sorta mad but not overly afterall leanne has gone thru alot lately with ben and her breaking up so its all understandable but now it has nothing to do with jealousy its just called "i feel hurt by my bestfriend". however i DO NOT WANT TO BE BFF'S with leanne again bc need i remind you of a little rumor she spread about me and amandas boyfriend, HAHA. yes that was qquite humorous to all and i cannot forgive and forget for that but i guess amanda can even though it was about her bestfriend and boyfriend "having something going on". yes isn't that lovely? isn't my life so grand? so im trying to get over this and i htink she was too but i think heard something and whatever IM DROPPING IT now its up to her to drop it too. i really want us to be like bestfriends again bc she is one of the best ive ever had. we've got 4 & 1/2 more months in this hellhole they call highschool so lets make the best of it and have the times of our lives, not get mad at eachother. if anyone thinks im being irrational PLEASE let me know. k thanks.