Just a few random thoughts from my mind..
Health Tip of the Day from Shelia: Free your inner child.
This crazy hippie lady at work always gives us a "health tip of the day." Today was something about putting on your big kid panties or something. Eff that, I wanna play on the playground.
"Supervision Committee for the Expansion of the Abu Dhabi International Airport" is the name of the project I'm working on for the aviation department right now. Doesn't it sound so fascinating? WTF is an Abu Dhabi?! I'm helping out one of the vice presidents who told me that I need to ask this woman if she'd email me a file I need cuz she has it saved on her computer.. so I very nicely walked up to her desk and asked her, and she went off on me. Apparently her and the VP guy got into it earlier... but what does that have to do with me? I'm just the effing intern doing what I was told! I know that I'm not the nicest person in the world, but I would never just be outright mean to someone.. especially someone who OBVIOUSLY means me no harm and was just asking a question because her superior told her to! UGH! Then after she went off on me, I asked her if the Adobe software I have in my computer was compatible to edit the file, and she started asking me all these technical questions about the software, and she went off on me for that too! I literally said "okay thanks!" and walked away and was about to cry. Maybe I'm just extra sensitive today, but I just can't reasonably think of why some people are just really really mean to unexpecting victims.. especially when I'm just trying to do my job to the best of my abilities!
Oh, and this is the same lady involved in this little story from last Thursday: i went running the night before and didnt wear socks with my tennis shoes, so i got a huge blister on my foot. the next day at work, i was wearing my usual black pointy toe (pretty conservative.. mind you) stiletto shoes, and they were killing me. so i asked the lady if she had a bandaid cuz i had a blister on my foot, and she said "maybe if you didn't wear such 'fuck me now' shoes, you wouldn't have a blister on your foot!" WTF??!?! lady, first of all, you are about 65 years old and wear about the most grandma shoes i've ever seen, so i dont expect you to be up on the fashion trends of sexy 22 year olds, but geez! that does NOT give you the right to talk to me like that!! you don't even know me!! how dare you use that word right in front of me?! and secondly, i got the blister from TENNIS SHOES. ugh.
school sucks already. 11 more months and then i can start complaining about work instead of school.
..i'm so positive..
LINDSEY IS ABOUT TO HAVE AN EFFING BABY!! She's due in literally 2 weeks. WTF?! Who does that?! Who has babies?! That's seriously about the scariest thing ever.
Is "I don't know what I want" a good enough reason to break up with someone?! Cuz I don't. I have no effing clue, and it's not fair to him. I do know that he's probably the best boyfriend I've ever had and probably will ever have, but I just don't know how I feel right now. I'm an emotionally scarred mess.. I'm relationship challenged and have too much baggage that I'm still dealing with after 4 months of thinking that I was in love with someone else. I mean, who am I kidding?! Who really thinks it is a good idea to get into a relationship 2 WEEKS after the guy I had been with for 2 years MOVES OUT OF THE APARTMENT WE HAD TOGETHER and takes THE DOG WE HAD TOGETHER and pretty much CRUSHES EVERY PLAN I HAD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE..?! And then I'm in a new relationship, and I am so in love and picking out fucking bridesmaid dresses all over again. I'm not saying he was a rebound.. he doesn't deserve that. He's been nothing but AMAZING to me, and I wish I could put this relationship on hold til I am COMPLETELY out of this T.J. mess. He's the kind of guy who would make an amazing husband.. the kind of guy i wanna marry.. BUT I'M NOT READY TO BE MARRIED!! I was talking to Lindsey earlier, and she was saying how Marty loves and trusts me. WHY?????!!!! It's been 3 months! Okay, yeah, we've known each other for 2 years now, but why do we have to bring love into this?! Why did we have to get soooo serious right off the bat?! Don't get me wrong, we still have crazy nonserious fun together, but I'm just freaked out. He makes all these "future" references.. the kind of references that made me sooo happy when i was with T.J., but now knowing how easily they're all shot into the ground makes me never ever ever wanna think about getting all serious with anyone ever again. One night he said he wanted to be with me forever, and I went off on him and told him never to say that to me again. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY WANNA BE WITH ME FOREVER?! WTF is forever?! Something people say before they get DIVORCED! Or CHEAT! I'm so so so negative, and I don't deserve someone so positive and sweet and selfless and loving and giving. Cuz I am none of those things. Not right now at least. I just wanna be happy and have fun and not have things be so complicated and serious. Cuz, really, ultimately, love is way too complicated and serious, and I'm not ready for the drama and heartache again. But I don't wanna lose him. Ugh.
This crazy hippie lady at work always gives us a "health tip of the day." Today was something about putting on your big kid panties or something. Eff that, I wanna play on the playground.
"Supervision Committee for the Expansion of the Abu Dhabi International Airport" is the name of the project I'm working on for the aviation department right now. Doesn't it sound so fascinating? WTF is an Abu Dhabi?! I'm helping out one of the vice presidents who told me that I need to ask this woman if she'd email me a file I need cuz she has it saved on her computer.. so I very nicely walked up to her desk and asked her, and she went off on me. Apparently her and the VP guy got into it earlier... but what does that have to do with me? I'm just the effing intern doing what I was told! I know that I'm not the nicest person in the world, but I would never just be outright mean to someone.. especially someone who OBVIOUSLY means me no harm and was just asking a question because her superior told her to! UGH! Then after she went off on me, I asked her if the Adobe software I have in my computer was compatible to edit the file, and she started asking me all these technical questions about the software, and she went off on me for that too! I literally said "okay thanks!" and walked away and was about to cry. Maybe I'm just extra sensitive today, but I just can't reasonably think of why some people are just really really mean to unexpecting victims.. especially when I'm just trying to do my job to the best of my abilities!
Oh, and this is the same lady involved in this little story from last Thursday: i went running the night before and didnt wear socks with my tennis shoes, so i got a huge blister on my foot. the next day at work, i was wearing my usual black pointy toe (pretty conservative.. mind you) stiletto shoes, and they were killing me. so i asked the lady if she had a bandaid cuz i had a blister on my foot, and she said "maybe if you didn't wear such 'fuck me now' shoes, you wouldn't have a blister on your foot!" WTF??!?! lady, first of all, you are about 65 years old and wear about the most grandma shoes i've ever seen, so i dont expect you to be up on the fashion trends of sexy 22 year olds, but geez! that does NOT give you the right to talk to me like that!! you don't even know me!! how dare you use that word right in front of me?! and secondly, i got the blister from TENNIS SHOES. ugh.
school sucks already. 11 more months and then i can start complaining about work instead of school.
..i'm so positive..
LINDSEY IS ABOUT TO HAVE AN EFFING BABY!! She's due in literally 2 weeks. WTF?! Who does that?! Who has babies?! That's seriously about the scariest thing ever.
Is "I don't know what I want" a good enough reason to break up with someone?! Cuz I don't. I have no effing clue, and it's not fair to him. I do know that he's probably the best boyfriend I've ever had and probably will ever have, but I just don't know how I feel right now. I'm an emotionally scarred mess.. I'm relationship challenged and have too much baggage that I'm still dealing with after 4 months of thinking that I was in love with someone else. I mean, who am I kidding?! Who really thinks it is a good idea to get into a relationship 2 WEEKS after the guy I had been with for 2 years MOVES OUT OF THE APARTMENT WE HAD TOGETHER and takes THE DOG WE HAD TOGETHER and pretty much CRUSHES EVERY PLAN I HAD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE..?! And then I'm in a new relationship, and I am so in love and picking out fucking bridesmaid dresses all over again. I'm not saying he was a rebound.. he doesn't deserve that. He's been nothing but AMAZING to me, and I wish I could put this relationship on hold til I am COMPLETELY out of this T.J. mess. He's the kind of guy who would make an amazing husband.. the kind of guy i wanna marry.. BUT I'M NOT READY TO BE MARRIED!! I was talking to Lindsey earlier, and she was saying how Marty loves and trusts me. WHY?????!!!! It's been 3 months! Okay, yeah, we've known each other for 2 years now, but why do we have to bring love into this?! Why did we have to get soooo serious right off the bat?! Don't get me wrong, we still have crazy nonserious fun together, but I'm just freaked out. He makes all these "future" references.. the kind of references that made me sooo happy when i was with T.J., but now knowing how easily they're all shot into the ground makes me never ever ever wanna think about getting all serious with anyone ever again. One night he said he wanted to be with me forever, and I went off on him and told him never to say that to me again. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY WANNA BE WITH ME FOREVER?! WTF is forever?! Something people say before they get DIVORCED! Or CHEAT! I'm so so so negative, and I don't deserve someone so positive and sweet and selfless and loving and giving. Cuz I am none of those things. Not right now at least. I just wanna be happy and have fun and not have things be so complicated and serious. Cuz, really, ultimately, love is way too complicated and serious, and I'm not ready for the drama and heartache again. But I don't wanna lose him. Ugh.