(no subject)
see lately.. i've been beating the shit out of myself thinking i'm so fucked up and so shitty to everyone. convincing myself i have some sort of drinking problem. and that i was seriously hurting the people around me. but it hit me last night. the reason i freak out when i've been drinking, or the reason i freak out period is because of the people around me. the shitty assholes, the ones that tell me i have problems, always get me going. do something that a normal good souled friend wouldn't do. i've said it a million times, and i'll say it a billion over. that's why i have kate, sliz, and gresh. they're not like everyother god damned person. i know when i comes down to it, they'll be there for me no matter what. i don't have to worry about them talking shit. i don't have to worry about them fucking with my head. i just know i can count on them to be there and love me. because i'm there and love them. and when i have a couple of drinks with those girls it's just laughs and a bunch of remember whens. they make me happy sober or not. and reguardless, forever and always, laj, sliz, kam, and gresh will be best friends forever.