*sob
yeah,
so T.G.I.F. I had an alright day, I suppose. All this talk coming from Keegan and Sam has got me thinking, ya know? like, just all of a sudden i felt the same way. I didnt say anything, but when evry1 else started to, I was like....whoa. It's really scary to think like that. My moods have been up and down too Sam, and I realize what u said Keegan (u already read my comment). Its freaky though, thats it's happening to all of us at the same time. But back to today....Fell down the stairs at school first thing this morning. But I quickly recovered after realizing that I was in english class and It was day 2.....i have math 1st on day 2. So yippeee. I'm late for class. but math went by quickly. Then I fell asleep in English. I ate lunch with Will and Alex, and Kellie. Then i had geo. gr....*stabs fork into textbook. After that I get exited. Instrumental...yay! i figured because we were working on our quartets, I would have a chance to talk to Mr.Bronson..then he tells me, Jane, Reanda, and Chris to go to 205 for vocal. I swear, Im never gonna get a chance to talk to him. I've been asking to talk to him since tuesday....like, come on...all I need is five minutes.The sad part is that all I really want to do is tell him that I'm sorry, thats it. Every time I try to talk to him, he turns around and walks away. I don't get it....why is he being like that? wut did i do that's so wrong? Even if I really did do something wrong(which I probably did), why wont he just hear me out? It's not fair, because I didnt mean to act the way that I've been acting. All I want to do is say sorry...that's all, I just dont' get it. most people think it's because of the trumpet-shelf-self centered thing. But really it's not. I was planning on talking to him and apologizing before that even happened. But no, I figured actions speak louder than words. So I tried to be really nice to him, and focused. Then i put the stupid trumpet on the wrong friggin shelf. I screwed up AGAIN. I swear, I cant do anything right anymore. Everything is falling apart. So now he thinks I'm self-centered and that I did it on purpose. I didnt. And when I told him that it was an accident, he said "no it wasnt Lindsi, It was on purpose. you're no better than anyone else...the rules apply to you too". I swear, this has been tearing me apart for so long.I would feel so much better if I could just talk to him...but he wont even look at me anymore. I thought on the way home, that maybe he's testing me. If he truly thinks that I'm self-centered, than maybe he's ignoring me to try and show me that I'm not the center of everybody's world. Which would be a smart thing to do if i was self centered. but I'm not. I dont feel like I'm ANY better than anybody else. if anything, i feel like I'm worse. I feel like, now that I can't play as well anymore, that I'm holding the rest of the class back. i'm so sorry for being like that to him, and I'm sure that at some point I did come across as self-centered, but I never meant to, and I certainly don't feel that way. These are all things that I would tell him, if only he'd talk to me. I just dont get it. And things aren't gonna get any better till i can corner him and let all of this out.
~Lindsi
p.s- If you wanna know my horoscopes for the past few days....here "Wednesday: Make sure to take care of the big problem that's been weighing you down lately. It may take awhile, but it will be well worth it. Thursday: Keep working at your problem. Don't let a stobburn person get in the way of resolving it. Keep working at them, and they will break down eventually. Friday:You will find yourself upset over a certain person. Talk to that person, and let them know how you feel. it's the only way to relieve your stress."
-well, horoscopes would be easy to follow if he'd talk to me. LOL
so T.G.I.F. I had an alright day, I suppose. All this talk coming from Keegan and Sam has got me thinking, ya know? like, just all of a sudden i felt the same way. I didnt say anything, but when evry1 else started to, I was like....whoa. It's really scary to think like that. My moods have been up and down too Sam, and I realize what u said Keegan (u already read my comment). Its freaky though, thats it's happening to all of us at the same time. But back to today....Fell down the stairs at school first thing this morning. But I quickly recovered after realizing that I was in english class and It was day 2.....i have math 1st on day 2. So yippeee. I'm late for class. but math went by quickly. Then I fell asleep in English. I ate lunch with Will and Alex, and Kellie. Then i had geo. gr....*stabs fork into textbook. After that I get exited. Instrumental...yay! i figured because we were working on our quartets, I would have a chance to talk to Mr.Bronson..then he tells me, Jane, Reanda, and Chris to go to 205 for vocal. I swear, Im never gonna get a chance to talk to him. I've been asking to talk to him since tuesday....like, come on...all I need is five minutes.The sad part is that all I really want to do is tell him that I'm sorry, thats it. Every time I try to talk to him, he turns around and walks away. I don't get it....why is he being like that? wut did i do that's so wrong? Even if I really did do something wrong(which I probably did), why wont he just hear me out? It's not fair, because I didnt mean to act the way that I've been acting. All I want to do is say sorry...that's all, I just dont' get it. most people think it's because of the trumpet-shelf-self centered thing. But really it's not. I was planning on talking to him and apologizing before that even happened. But no, I figured actions speak louder than words. So I tried to be really nice to him, and focused. Then i put the stupid trumpet on the wrong friggin shelf. I screwed up AGAIN. I swear, I cant do anything right anymore. Everything is falling apart. So now he thinks I'm self-centered and that I did it on purpose. I didnt. And when I told him that it was an accident, he said "no it wasnt Lindsi, It was on purpose. you're no better than anyone else...the rules apply to you too". I swear, this has been tearing me apart for so long.I would feel so much better if I could just talk to him...but he wont even look at me anymore. I thought on the way home, that maybe he's testing me. If he truly thinks that I'm self-centered, than maybe he's ignoring me to try and show me that I'm not the center of everybody's world. Which would be a smart thing to do if i was self centered. but I'm not. I dont feel like I'm ANY better than anybody else. if anything, i feel like I'm worse. I feel like, now that I can't play as well anymore, that I'm holding the rest of the class back. i'm so sorry for being like that to him, and I'm sure that at some point I did come across as self-centered, but I never meant to, and I certainly don't feel that way. These are all things that I would tell him, if only he'd talk to me. I just dont get it. And things aren't gonna get any better till i can corner him and let all of this out.
~Lindsi
p.s- If you wanna know my horoscopes for the past few days....here "Wednesday: Make sure to take care of the big problem that's been weighing you down lately. It may take awhile, but it will be well worth it. Thursday: Keep working at your problem. Don't let a stobburn person get in the way of resolving it. Keep working at them, and they will break down eventually. Friday:You will find yourself upset over a certain person. Talk to that person, and let them know how you feel. it's the only way to relieve your stress."
-well, horoscopes would be easy to follow if he'd talk to me. LOL