hum
Well here i am. Bored out of my mind. I got my prom dress today. Its pretty, and it matches with burgundy. ha. I can change it if i wan because its on a layaway plan bci can only go and pick it up on saturday or something. Ah well. Im not really in a good mood right now...sort of depressed but ill get over it i hope. The thing is that everyday i want to kick myself in the face for becoming friends with someone. Well,not really but go with me on this one. I liked someone...u all prob know who. I think the whole world knows, but lets not involve names bc im speaking on behalf of all humankind. Back to the story. I liked this guy, and still do, and its really hard because theres the issue of "Well, since we've become friends, I dont want to do anything to ruin the great frienship that we have." Hey, I didnt say it. Anyways, how does that even add up? How can u like someone for so long, and have them know it, and still feel like going ne step further would ruin everything? Who wrote that stupid rule anyways? My question is "WHy is the issue of being such good friends an excuse for not wanting to go out with someone? Is it true how that can happen? WOuld not being friends make things even better? In order for anything to happen, do you have to be enemies with the person first, and then theres time to consider? " Seriously, I am really lost on that one. Im beginning to think that theres something either really wrong with me or im just really stupid for even thinking anything could have happened. I know that there are other people out there, but once in a great while you find someone who really makes a mark on you, and thats really one of the hardest things to try and accept~and take in all at once. My problem is that I "fall too hard." someone told me that once, and ever since, i have believed them. I is so true. Why cant i just be like everyone else and not give a flying fuck? Whats my big holdup to just moving on? A lot of people I know have the power to just like someone, and within a few days or weeks (which is pretty minimal), they move on and pick someone new to shift their focus to. I just wish I had that power. Im cursed like that, but hey, there is a bright side to all of it; atleast ill make for a faithful wife. haha...way too far in the future. How do u get over trying to get over someone who you really dont want to get over? How is it possible to get the idea of them out of your mind? Is it him or the idea of him that I like??? I guess im the only one who can answer that one. I feel like Ive basically been wasting my time in a way, but then again, have made a good friend. In all honesty, I wasnt looking to make a friend. lol...how do u girls do it? seriously. In my mind, i really want to move on. It would better me so much more. But in my heart, I still feel what I have felt, and thats a tough thing for me to get rid of and try to forget.
ah...
Love Linds
ah...
Love Linds