Thanks to you, now I get what I want. Since you've been gone.
Well, I don't have much to say but life is life.
I'm terrified to leave for college as evidenced by my crying at mass tonight.
I don't think that anyone really understands how LIFETEEN has shaped me into who I am. It's an amazing feeling of comfort whenever I walk into Immaculate, and see faces that I know and love. I owe everything that I am and everything I believe in to that place. Not so much the place. I am just so thankful for my faith that I have now. I don't know where I'd be without it. It's hard to explain really. And then Fr.Mike said to be something like, "Do well, you'll be great. Keep in touch." I could barely get out a thanks, before the tears started rolling. I cried whenever someone hugged me. Especially Fr.Mike though, I just look up to him so much, and I swear that I can get something out of every single one of his homilys. Especially tonight, it's weird. But I love it.
Saying good bye to other people there was hard, too. Linda has been like a kind of second mom to me. She's a great person, with a huge heart and I can never repay for how much she has taught me about being Catholic. She is such a great example of just love.
Other core members, too. Even Ryan's mom hugged me and made me cry. Other kids there did too. By 8:00 ish I had to get outside, and I just sat in my car and cried.
What I'm realizing is that I'm not to good with change. I like routine, and I liked this summer. I'm not ready to let it go.
I do want to go to college, and I want so badly to make new, good friends. But I really don't want to leave everyone here. I wish I could just bring everyone with me. Like a kind of support net. I guess I just think I'll be making some trips home next semester.
Linda mentioned that she wants me to be a core member in a year.
Hearing her say that felt so good. I want to be one, but I just don't want to have to stop talking to kids that I know that are younger than me. And will I be able to handle that and my work @ BC? Maybe by the time that I'll be asked to be a core member, that rule will have been lessoned? There are just people that I don't want to stop talking to. If I was core my sophomore year in college. A few of my good friends would still be in high school. And they are friends that I won't be able to stop hanging out with.
Marissa, if I become a core member when I'm a sophomore, you'll be a senior. I don't think I can let myself not be allowed to hang out with you. By then it will be 17 years of friendship, and I can't put that on hold for the core. Maybe they can bend rules for me, heh.
I'm rambling and it's 3 AM..
I had a good conversation tonight, with someone that I'm glad I've become a lot closer with. So that was good.
I also went out after mass with Jacqui, Ryan, and Veronica. It was a lot of fun lol. But I'm being serious. I'm gonna miss them all in 5 days.
That just made me sad again.
If you read all of that, thanks for listening.
I also liked Kelly Clarkson's performance of "Since You've Been Gone" on the VMA's. I'm watching the replay right now. It's angry. I like it.
I also think the lead singer from MyChemicalRomance is hot. I can't remember his name. I'll probably get it once I go to bed.
Update: Kelly Clarkson is all being rained on? Weird? I liked it better when she was yelling.
One last thing.
John 8:3-11.
And I like this quote.
"Don't keep the faith, spread it around!"
I'm terrified to leave for college as evidenced by my crying at mass tonight.
I don't think that anyone really understands how LIFETEEN has shaped me into who I am. It's an amazing feeling of comfort whenever I walk into Immaculate, and see faces that I know and love. I owe everything that I am and everything I believe in to that place. Not so much the place. I am just so thankful for my faith that I have now. I don't know where I'd be without it. It's hard to explain really. And then Fr.Mike said to be something like, "Do well, you'll be great. Keep in touch." I could barely get out a thanks, before the tears started rolling. I cried whenever someone hugged me. Especially Fr.Mike though, I just look up to him so much, and I swear that I can get something out of every single one of his homilys. Especially tonight, it's weird. But I love it.
Saying good bye to other people there was hard, too. Linda has been like a kind of second mom to me. She's a great person, with a huge heart and I can never repay for how much she has taught me about being Catholic. She is such a great example of just love.
Other core members, too. Even Ryan's mom hugged me and made me cry. Other kids there did too. By 8:00 ish I had to get outside, and I just sat in my car and cried.
What I'm realizing is that I'm not to good with change. I like routine, and I liked this summer. I'm not ready to let it go.
I do want to go to college, and I want so badly to make new, good friends. But I really don't want to leave everyone here. I wish I could just bring everyone with me. Like a kind of support net. I guess I just think I'll be making some trips home next semester.
Linda mentioned that she wants me to be a core member in a year.
Hearing her say that felt so good. I want to be one, but I just don't want to have to stop talking to kids that I know that are younger than me. And will I be able to handle that and my work @ BC? Maybe by the time that I'll be asked to be a core member, that rule will have been lessoned? There are just people that I don't want to stop talking to. If I was core my sophomore year in college. A few of my good friends would still be in high school. And they are friends that I won't be able to stop hanging out with.
Marissa, if I become a core member when I'm a sophomore, you'll be a senior. I don't think I can let myself not be allowed to hang out with you. By then it will be 17 years of friendship, and I can't put that on hold for the core. Maybe they can bend rules for me, heh.
I'm rambling and it's 3 AM..
I had a good conversation tonight, with someone that I'm glad I've become a lot closer with. So that was good.
I also went out after mass with Jacqui, Ryan, and Veronica. It was a lot of fun lol. But I'm being serious. I'm gonna miss them all in 5 days.
That just made me sad again.
If you read all of that, thanks for listening.
I also liked Kelly Clarkson's performance of "Since You've Been Gone" on the VMA's. I'm watching the replay right now. It's angry. I like it.
I also think the lead singer from MyChemicalRomance is hot. I can't remember his name. I'll probably get it once I go to bed.
Update: Kelly Clarkson is all being rained on? Weird? I liked it better when she was yelling.
One last thing.
John 8:3-11.
And I like this quote.
"Don't keep the faith, spread it around!"