Scene: Have a Romance
Co-written with obiwanmarvel.
Saturday Night
Lindy prefers the Barnes apartment to the Avengers Mansion. Though the mansion has far more space it feels much more crowded to her. There is always someone there and they are usually loud and often watching her. With the exception of Anthony she doesn't feel comfortable with any of them. Her room at James and Natasha's is small, but it had never been someone else's bedroom. The apartment is furnished simply, always clean, and she is left alone unless she seeks someone out. It was a refuge; some would say that was what home should be.
Lindy lived in the moment more than her peers. Where Amelia drove herself crazy fretting over what could happen someday, Lindy focused on what was happening right in front of her. Thus the days in between the Halloween party and the Homecoming Dance were easier on Lindy than most of the others. She stayed out of the way and waited. Amelia kept close but she seemed unwilling to say anything to Lindy before her brother did, and Ben had stayed away, hiding on campus since he and Ginny had agreed to put their relationship on hold. Jessica had tried to entice her to talk and Jake had made it clear he was there if she wanted him but he left it up to her, and Amelia had taken most of his attention. Anthony was also supportive, in his equally quiet way, but especially at school, Ginny had been the main focus of everyone's attention. And Lindy waited.
Ben went to her. He knew they needed to talk and knew everyone else would be at the dance. He tried not to think about Ginny and Trick going together, dancing… They'd all made their decisions and he needed to focus on this one. Lindy.
She smiled when she answered the door and invited him in. It was a small smile compared to Amelia's or Jamie's or even Ginny's. But it was genuine.
"We need to talk," he explained, and then quickly asked, "Are you okay?" Like father, like son.
Lindy nodded. It is not difficult to be "okay". She frowned slightly, in thought, and suggested they go to her room. Ben flailed inwardly but felt if he asked her not to go to her room she'd get upset, and it would become a bigger deal than it actually is. He agreed and Lindy led him to her bedroom.
The room is austere, it had been a shared office space and was painted in muted colors. There was a bed pushed up against he wall, a set of drawers and a small desk with a laptop, lamp and a stack of books. It was missing all the personal touches that make a room more than a space to sleep and work. The only things that were Lindy-like were pointe shoes draped over the tall mirror on the back of the door, and a worn teddy bear. The bear, and the computer, traveled with her between her parents' homes. Ben wondered that Amelia hadn't filled the walls with things Lindy likes, or things Amelia thinks Lindy should like... but then Amelia is a lot like her mother sometimes. She would want Lindy to choose.
Both waited for the other to sit and both remained standing.
"I want to talk about what happened on Halloween." She nodded once. "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad with the way I reacted... I was caught off guard."
Lindy frowned in thought again. "I am sorry I caught you off guard?" It was a question. She was not certain it was the right response. She was not certain it was a true statement, either.
"It's okay." Ben didn't know how to answer the question, that seemed simplest. "What do you want to happen between us?"
Lindy was quiet. Considering. Her thoughtful frowns were kind of cute, actually.
"I don't feel bad," she said, answering his earlier statement. "I don't know," she continued, answering his question. "I want what everyone else has." Giving three answers was a trick she picked up from Carol, who'd picked it up from Tony. But Ben was used to answers like this.
He crossed his arms over his chest and asked, "Which of those three things is most important?"
Lindy blinked. She answered as if it was an exercise, unrelated to the two of them. "To whom?"
"To you!"
This answer came easily. "That I do not feel badly. I ... do not understand feelings but I think... you make me 'happy'."
"Does Amelia make you happy?"
Lindy thought this a strange question, but the answer came just as easily. "Yes. Of course."
"So, what is the difference between me and Amelia?"
Lindy frowned. "I don't understand."
"Did you kiss Amelia?"
"No..." She was confused and upset that she was confused.
Ben took a breath. "I just want to understand why you kissed me."
"I want to have a romance?" It was a question again. It wasn't her answer. She didn't like not knowing the right responses.
"Why do you want a romance with me? Why not someone else?"
He didn't want her to feel badly, he just wanted to have information. Ben needed information or he wouldn't act, but Lindy is far better at getting information than giving it. She was quiet a long time, trying to figure out the answer for herself. Finally she sat on her bed, on the very edge of mattress, and stared at the floor to steady herself. "Because no one has ever loved me the way you love Amelia and I just want to touch it."
Ben blinked. Well then. "I love Amelia like a sister, and if you want me to love you like a sister, we probably shouldn't be kissing."
"I already have a brother," said Lindy, confused again. Ben frowned, equally confused. "Are you mad at me? For kissing you?"
"No. I'm not mad. I just don't want to hurt anyone." And he'd already hurt Ginny.
Lindy saw something in his eyes and started to speak, without knowing what she would say. "I started watching you because of who you are to Amelia." When she realized who they had been in her past life. "Because Amelia is my best friend. But the more I watched, the more I wanted to be a part of it. Not as a sister because I don't want to replace Amelia, that would be hurting everyone." And at some point it became not about Amelia. "I just want to feel the way I feel when I watch you and the more I watched the more I wanted to feel it. And I wanted to kiss you and I want to kiss you again even if it hurts. Because it always hurts."
It was probably the most he had ever heard her say.
"You can kiss me again as long as you promise to tell me if I hurt you."
The cute thoughtful frown returned but she nodded, serious. "I promise."
Ben closed the space between them, pushed her hair back from her face with a gentle hand and kissed her softly; at her eager response the kiss turned deep and passionate. He pulled her into a tight embrace and they turned off their brains and let their bodies do the talking.
Saturday Night
Lindy prefers the Barnes apartment to the Avengers Mansion. Though the mansion has far more space it feels much more crowded to her. There is always someone there and they are usually loud and often watching her. With the exception of Anthony she doesn't feel comfortable with any of them. Her room at James and Natasha's is small, but it had never been someone else's bedroom. The apartment is furnished simply, always clean, and she is left alone unless she seeks someone out. It was a refuge; some would say that was what home should be.
Lindy lived in the moment more than her peers. Where Amelia drove herself crazy fretting over what could happen someday, Lindy focused on what was happening right in front of her. Thus the days in between the Halloween party and the Homecoming Dance were easier on Lindy than most of the others. She stayed out of the way and waited. Amelia kept close but she seemed unwilling to say anything to Lindy before her brother did, and Ben had stayed away, hiding on campus since he and Ginny had agreed to put their relationship on hold. Jessica had tried to entice her to talk and Jake had made it clear he was there if she wanted him but he left it up to her, and Amelia had taken most of his attention. Anthony was also supportive, in his equally quiet way, but especially at school, Ginny had been the main focus of everyone's attention. And Lindy waited.
Ben went to her. He knew they needed to talk and knew everyone else would be at the dance. He tried not to think about Ginny and Trick going together, dancing… They'd all made their decisions and he needed to focus on this one. Lindy.
She smiled when she answered the door and invited him in. It was a small smile compared to Amelia's or Jamie's or even Ginny's. But it was genuine.
"We need to talk," he explained, and then quickly asked, "Are you okay?" Like father, like son.
Lindy nodded. It is not difficult to be "okay". She frowned slightly, in thought, and suggested they go to her room. Ben flailed inwardly but felt if he asked her not to go to her room she'd get upset, and it would become a bigger deal than it actually is. He agreed and Lindy led him to her bedroom.
The room is austere, it had been a shared office space and was painted in muted colors. There was a bed pushed up against he wall, a set of drawers and a small desk with a laptop, lamp and a stack of books. It was missing all the personal touches that make a room more than a space to sleep and work. The only things that were Lindy-like were pointe shoes draped over the tall mirror on the back of the door, and a worn teddy bear. The bear, and the computer, traveled with her between her parents' homes. Ben wondered that Amelia hadn't filled the walls with things Lindy likes, or things Amelia thinks Lindy should like... but then Amelia is a lot like her mother sometimes. She would want Lindy to choose.
Both waited for the other to sit and both remained standing.
"I want to talk about what happened on Halloween." She nodded once. "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad with the way I reacted... I was caught off guard."
Lindy frowned in thought again. "I am sorry I caught you off guard?" It was a question. She was not certain it was the right response. She was not certain it was a true statement, either.
"It's okay." Ben didn't know how to answer the question, that seemed simplest. "What do you want to happen between us?"
Lindy was quiet. Considering. Her thoughtful frowns were kind of cute, actually.
"I don't feel bad," she said, answering his earlier statement. "I don't know," she continued, answering his question. "I want what everyone else has." Giving three answers was a trick she picked up from Carol, who'd picked it up from Tony. But Ben was used to answers like this.
He crossed his arms over his chest and asked, "Which of those three things is most important?"
Lindy blinked. She answered as if it was an exercise, unrelated to the two of them. "To whom?"
"To you!"
This answer came easily. "That I do not feel badly. I ... do not understand feelings but I think... you make me 'happy'."
"Does Amelia make you happy?"
Lindy thought this a strange question, but the answer came just as easily. "Yes. Of course."
"So, what is the difference between me and Amelia?"
Lindy frowned. "I don't understand."
"Did you kiss Amelia?"
"No..." She was confused and upset that she was confused.
Ben took a breath. "I just want to understand why you kissed me."
"I want to have a romance?" It was a question again. It wasn't her answer. She didn't like not knowing the right responses.
"Why do you want a romance with me? Why not someone else?"
He didn't want her to feel badly, he just wanted to have information. Ben needed information or he wouldn't act, but Lindy is far better at getting information than giving it. She was quiet a long time, trying to figure out the answer for herself. Finally she sat on her bed, on the very edge of mattress, and stared at the floor to steady herself. "Because no one has ever loved me the way you love Amelia and I just want to touch it."
Ben blinked. Well then. "I love Amelia like a sister, and if you want me to love you like a sister, we probably shouldn't be kissing."
"I already have a brother," said Lindy, confused again. Ben frowned, equally confused. "Are you mad at me? For kissing you?"
"No. I'm not mad. I just don't want to hurt anyone." And he'd already hurt Ginny.
Lindy saw something in his eyes and started to speak, without knowing what she would say. "I started watching you because of who you are to Amelia." When she realized who they had been in her past life. "Because Amelia is my best friend. But the more I watched, the more I wanted to be a part of it. Not as a sister because I don't want to replace Amelia, that would be hurting everyone." And at some point it became not about Amelia. "I just want to feel the way I feel when I watch you and the more I watched the more I wanted to feel it. And I wanted to kiss you and I want to kiss you again even if it hurts. Because it always hurts."
It was probably the most he had ever heard her say.
"You can kiss me again as long as you promise to tell me if I hurt you."
The cute thoughtful frown returned but she nodded, serious. "I promise."
Ben closed the space between them, pushed her hair back from her face with a gentle hand and kissed her softly; at her eager response the kiss turned deep and passionate. He pulled her into a tight embrace and they turned off their brains and let their bodies do the talking.