been a long time coming
yeah well since i have moved i have not been able to update this thing.. right now i am at my mothers house and im jus thinking about everything that has happened..
Well so much has happened that i could write 457349758 pages about it..
So im gonna focus on the issuse that had been bothering me all day
Yeah so im the biggest fuck up to walk the earth.. i seriously fuck up everything good in my life.. like last night.. i probaly made the worst decision in my life..
The kid that i care so much about.. i threw all away last night.. i told him i was sick of waiting for him and im done.. i thought it would make me happier kinda.. but it made me 5443987598 times worse.. i was so fucking emotional today.. i havented been like that in a long time.. i dont know how i thought that i could make things easier.. i like him so much.. i dont love him or ne thing.. but i jus threw it away like i had 4543589 other guys to like.. but i dont.. i dont like ne one and i cant see myself liking ne one.. and i know that things arent gonna work out the way i wanted them too.. but what can i do.. i wanna take it back.. all the things that i said and everything.. i dont know why i always throw away good things.. does god hate me or something? cuz i dont get why i did that... i dont even know what to do.. i havented talked to him.. and im scared that he doesnt care.. i dont know why i am spilling all this out.. but i feel like i need to.. like i needa let him know how i feel.. im jus too scared too.. im afraid of rejection, oh well.. i dont know what to do.. i honestly dont. i wish i had the solution cuz then things would be 34598475 times easier.. i wanna be with him.. but i dont wanna wait.. i know it seems selfish.. but i can only take so much.. my head hurts from thinking so much.. i over analyze everything.. im ridicouls... lol well yeha i needa try to get some sleep.. i couldnt sleep at all last night.. i bet you i wont tonight either
Well so much has happened that i could write 457349758 pages about it..
So im gonna focus on the issuse that had been bothering me all day
Yeah so im the biggest fuck up to walk the earth.. i seriously fuck up everything good in my life.. like last night.. i probaly made the worst decision in my life..
The kid that i care so much about.. i threw all away last night.. i told him i was sick of waiting for him and im done.. i thought it would make me happier kinda.. but it made me 5443987598 times worse.. i was so fucking emotional today.. i havented been like that in a long time.. i dont know how i thought that i could make things easier.. i like him so much.. i dont love him or ne thing.. but i jus threw it away like i had 4543589 other guys to like.. but i dont.. i dont like ne one and i cant see myself liking ne one.. and i know that things arent gonna work out the way i wanted them too.. but what can i do.. i wanna take it back.. all the things that i said and everything.. i dont know why i always throw away good things.. does god hate me or something? cuz i dont get why i did that... i dont even know what to do.. i havented talked to him.. and im scared that he doesnt care.. i dont know why i am spilling all this out.. but i feel like i need to.. like i needa let him know how i feel.. im jus too scared too.. im afraid of rejection, oh well.. i dont know what to do.. i honestly dont. i wish i had the solution cuz then things would be 34598475 times easier.. i wanna be with him.. but i dont wanna wait.. i know it seems selfish.. but i can only take so much.. my head hurts from thinking so much.. i over analyze everything.. im ridicouls... lol well yeha i needa try to get some sleep.. i couldnt sleep at all last night.. i bet you i wont tonight either