i know you'll recognize it's summertime
lately it's bruises on the inside of my legs from my bicycle. sending out my resume to jobs i wouldn't hate. my hair being just long enough to pull back. sitting cross-legged on my bed with scissors and a glue stick, putting this next zine together. i feel so vulnerable and young; it's humiliating to open myself up so much to people: please, i need a job. please, i need you to love me. please, please. it's hard to humble myself over and over. to trust. how humiliating it can all be. but i'm also aware that this will pass. that i just graduated from college and all these doors are opening, just on the edge of the horizon i can barely see. i don't know. keep waking up and trying to push them all, swing them all wide open so i can step through by myself.
last night brandon and i were talking about job hunting and he said that the bachelor's degree should rightfully be called the i'm not a dumbass degree. he volunteered to come with me to my interview, step in first, this big, tall black man getting in their faces all like if lindsey markel wants to come in at 9:30, lindsey markel's comin' in at 9:30. you want her 8 to 5, at 5:01 she's gone. 7:59? too early. and lindsey markel's gonna get her shit done. do not fuck with lindsey markel. i emailed him this afernoon and told him it was like he was there, pimping my clerical skills, the whole time. the interview went well and i'm glad. i realized even more while i was there that this would be a position i would really enjoy; it would be something i feel would really be contributing something. they asked me what my ideal job would be like and i realized as i was talking that this job would be very, very similar. so. prayer candles lit, fingers and toes crossed.
last night brandon and i were talking about job hunting and he said that the bachelor's degree should rightfully be called the i'm not a dumbass degree. he volunteered to come with me to my interview, step in first, this big, tall black man getting in their faces all like if lindsey markel wants to come in at 9:30, lindsey markel's comin' in at 9:30. you want her 8 to 5, at 5:01 she's gone. 7:59? too early. and lindsey markel's gonna get her shit done. do not fuck with lindsey markel. i emailed him this afernoon and told him it was like he was there, pimping my clerical skills, the whole time. the interview went well and i'm glad. i realized even more while i was there that this would be a position i would really enjoy; it would be something i feel would really be contributing something. they asked me what my ideal job would be like and i realized as i was talking that this job would be very, very similar. so. prayer candles lit, fingers and toes crossed.