What a week..
Kay...so latly its been really good with Brian. I've honestly been extremly happy! Other then.. well... what everyone has to say. I wish people (my friends) would really support me on this. I know what I'm doing, and I wouldn't do something if I thought something was going to go wrong. You all should trust me a little more, and trust that I'm making the right choices. The only time that I wasn't happy before in the relationship was when I was breaking up with him. And that was the wrong choice in the 1st place. I love Brian, and if you guys can't accept it, then thats YOUR choice. He's not just a guy, he's now one of my best friends...Amanda, I love you. I really really do, and I don't want something like this coming between us like it did with Ely. It was hard enough going through that 3 times. I still love her. I care a lot about her. But I don't wanna go through that with you. This doesn't effect anything that we have. I'm happy, I'm not hurt at all. I haven't changed. I've asked EVERYONE if they thought that I've changed, and the only thing that they have said is that they've seen me more happy. I was really depressed last week because of the break up. Not anything that Brian did. I love you Amanda. But what I really don't like, is when I hear from someone that you were being a total bitch about something. Let me refesh your memory. Tuesday night, your birthday, choir concert, I give you a hug..well try to anyways. I said "Fine..dont give me a hug then"..and you said "hmm, maybe I dont want to". I kinda thought that we were both being sarcastic about it, so I didn't really think anything about it, till the next day when someone told me you were talking to Bri about what you said. About how GOOD it felt to say that to me. Hmm..way to be a jerk. I haven't done anything wrong in this frienship. Maybe not listen to you, and follow my heart. I had to do this for myself. Me and Eric had a long talk about some shit last night, and he told me that I need to listen, and do things for myself, rather then other people. But it's like.. if I do something for myself, then I'm concidered a bitch, and all this other crap. But if I listen to other people, and do what they want, then where am I standing up for myself there. I can't do that all my life. This choice only effects me. I took this choice, and am willing to take whatever comes with it. But I can't walk away from something that isn't willing to be walked away from. You know me a hell of a lot better then that Amanda. I can't keep fighing over something that already done. You can either accept it and move on and have things the way they are. Or you can just keep not talking to me, and hurting both of us. I don't even know if it's hurting you.. but all I can say is I'm sorry you feel this way. Your "looking out for me"..but I don't need someone to be agenst me. Hilary, you've really been there for me through EVERYTHING. Your an amazing person. I love you to death. I can't really imagine my life without you in my life right now. Best friends! You've supported me through everything, and understood my feeling. I love you babe. And Brian.. baby.. you amaze me. I love you
-Linz
Brian<3
-Linz
Brian<3