There's Just No One Like You, You Are My Only One
Zack pushed past Jack as they entered their Los Angeles apartment and immediately began packing his things. He was practically flying through the apartment to gather his belongings and throw them messily into a suit case.
“ZACK! STOP!” Jack yelled at his frantic fiancé as he pushed past him once again.
“Let me go, Jack.” He mumbled through his tears.
“NO! What the fuck is going on?! Why are you leaving me?!” Jack yelled out of frustration and confusion.
Zack stopped pacing and turned around to look Jack dead in the eye.
“You still love him. THAT’S why.” Zack growled at the Lebanese boy.
“WHO?!” Jack yelled.
“OH GIVE IT A FUCKING REST, JACK! ALEX! YOU STILL LOVE ALEX! I’m such a fucking idiot!” Zack yelled at his boyfriend then cursed himself as he went back to packing.
Jack stood in disbelief as his fiancé finished packing his belongings and made a beeline towards their front door.
“Zack! Stop! Just fucking wait! Tonight was the first time I’ve seen Alex in years! What the hell are you talking about?!” Jack yelled as he ran across their apartment to grab the other boy’s arm.
Zack closed the door he had half way opened and turned back to Jack with tears flooding his eyes. The sight broke Jack’s heart. He had no idea how things could go from so perfect between them only hours earlier to Zack leaving the apartment in tears with his bags packed.
“What is going on, baby? Please don’t cry…” Jack spoke with pain behind his words.
Zack set down his suitcase and moved silently over to the couch. Jack followed him and sat down next to the boy hoping to hear some kind of reasoning for his abrupt departure.
“Jack…I don’t blame you for this. I’m just so hurt. I promise I’m not angry. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Zack practically whispered his words that only confused Jack more.
“Then w…why are you leaving me?” Jack asked timidly.
Zack looked up at him with a sad smile across his features.
“Because I can’t be Alex for you, Jack.”
“I don’t want you to be!! Zack I lo-“
Zack cut off Jack’s defensive rebuttal by pressing his finger to Jack’s lips and shaking his head.
“Baby. Listen to me. You and Alex were together for the last three years our band was together. I spent those three years hating Alex to his very core because I was already insanely in love with you. I remember watching the way you would look at him and I would fucking dream about being the one that you looked at that way.” Zack paused to wipe his tears and lace his fingers together with Jack’s. Jack couldn’t bear the sight of Zack breaking right in front of his eyes, but he kept his mouth shut as his fiancé spoke.
“Well…after that, you and Alex broke up and the band soon followed suit. I wish I could say I felt bad for you or for Alex or for our fans but all I felt in that whole situation was happiness because you were finally away from him and I had hope again that there would be a you and me.”
Zack squeezed Jack’s hand while he paused his story to collect himself. Both boys now had tears running down their cheeks. Both of their hearts were breaking at Zack’s words but they boy knew he had to explain everything from the beginning to make Jack understand why he had to leave him. Zack took a deep breath before continuing.
“8 months later, my dream finally came true. I hadn’t heard from you since the band split and you called me for the first time in months to meet you for drinks. Oh Jack…the moment I saw you sitting in that bar I fell in love with you all over again. At the end of the night you came home with me and our innocent good night kiss turned into us making love for the first time. I can honestly say that is and will remain one of the best nights of my life. I couldn’t think of anyone else I would’ve wanted to share my first time with.”
Jack could not for the life of him understand what Zack was doing. Everything he was saying just made it seem like Zack would want to be with him…Zack could tell Jack was dying of confusion so he took the deepest breath he had taken so far and prepared himself for the next phase of the story.
“I woke up the next morning absolutely terrified that I was a one night stand or a mistake to you but you silenced my fears when you asked if you could take me on a date the next night. Our first date turned into one of many which turned into me moving in here after 6 perfect months. I remember the first night I spent here with you after I moved in. You were sound asleep with your arms around me and I was about to drift off to sleep as well when Alex popped into my mind. I remembered how jealous I used to be of him and how I loathed him and how I finally had the boy he kept from me for so long…Then I thought about the way you looked at him and…I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was. I thought about it for hours it seemed like and I just couldn’t bring back the memory. I decided I was being ridiculous and you surely looked at me the way you always looked at him when you two were dating…I was wrong. I didn’t have my answer until tonight at dinner when we ran into him and Rian.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2 hours earlier~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You look so sexy tonight, baby. I can’t wait to get you home and get your ass in bed.” Jack said as he winked at his fiancé, causing him to blush.
“Jack! Shhhh!” Zack giggled at Jack, clearly embarrassed. Jack smiled back at him and picked up Zack’s hand to press a kiss to his knuckles.
“Jack?”
The boys heard a familiar voice call out from behind them and they both turned to see none other than Alexander Gaskarth. Rian soon followed behind him, looking down at his phone and ran smack into Alex’s back.
“Dude! Why’d you sto-…oh…hey guys. Um…long time.” Rian babbled out of shock at seeing their former bandmates.
“I’ve missed you Ri.” Zack said at a desperate attempt to soothe some awkwardness.
“Well get up here and hug me brotha!” Rian yelled back at him causing Zack to laugh as he got up and hugged his dear friend.
Rian and Zack continued to catch up and have small talk but Jack and Alex had yet to even move. They were frozen with their gaze locked on each other. Alex was the first to speak.
“So…you and Zack, huh?” He asked as he looked down to his shoes.
“Y-yeah…we’re engaged.” Jack stammered out.
Alex’s head flew up and his eyes were blown wide out of shock. “W-w-what? You’re marrying him?!” Alex unintentionally screamed causing Rian, Zack and a good portion of the restaurant to stare at them.
Alex shook his head as his cheeks reddened out of embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I am so happy for you two. Really I am. God I’m so embarrassed I mean I haven’t seen you in…” Alex trailed off trying to think of the last time he had actually seen his ex.
“Two years. It’s been two years.” Jack stated answering Alex’s question.
Alex nodded as he stared into Jack’s eyes, both of them falling silent once again.
“Well guess we better be going! It was so great to see you guys! We should all meet for coffee one day or something.” Rian said cheerfully to break the insane awkwardness Alex and Jack created. Zack nodded back to him with a smile and Rian practically drug Alex away from the table and out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That was the moment when I realized I was never going to be enough for you. I watched you when Alex left and the look on your face was the way you used to look at him when you were together. After seeing the way you looked at him tonight…I realized that you will never be able to look at me that way.” Zack was getting extremely choked up now and paused his story to look down at his hand where the engagement band Jack gave him a month ago still sat. He shakily pulled it off and handed it to Jack.
“Zack please. Don’t do this. I love you…” Jack told the boy through his own tears as he looked down at the ring.
“Jack look at me.” Zack stated in a more serious tone than he had previously used. Jack slowly lifted his gaze to meet Zack’s.
“I’m not doing this to you, baby. I’m doing it for you. I will love you until the day I leave this planet. I still think you are an incredible man. You bring so much light to this world and every life you touch is better because of it. You deserve to be with the person who will make you so happy it hurts. The person that makes your heart stop when you see them. That person for you is Alex.”
Jack tried to shake his head “no” but Zack ignored him.
“You two together…it’s just…indescribable. I’m not saying you don’t love me or that you wouldn’t be happy with me. I know we would have a nice life together and you would be the perfect husband. But you’re settling for me. You’ve never looked at me the way you looked at Alex all those years ago and the way you still did tonight. I can’t stand in the way of you two being together anymore. You don’t need me, baby. You need him.”
“I can’t make you stay, can I?” Jack asked, finally accepting reality.
Zack shook his head and stood up from the couch. He leaned down to press one last kiss to Jack’s lips before walking over to the door and picking up his belongings.He slid his engagement ring off his finger and set it on the table before turning to take one look at Jack and smile through his tear-stained eyes.
“Go, Jack. Go be happy.”
And with that, he was gone.
Jack was a mess. Part of him wanted to run down the stairs and force Zack to stay but he was surprised to find a part of him telling him to let the boy go. He groaned out of frustration and walked to the storage closet. He dug through the large box of home videos until he found the unmarked tape he was looking for.
He put in the VHS and pressed play then plopped down on the floor, right in front of the television.
“Okay…Alex should be here any minute. He’s pissed as fuck cause he thinks I forgot our anniversary. I guess he forgot that I’m fucking Batman.”
Jack’s voice played from the tape as he turned the camera around to show the whole room full of flowers and candles and a homemade dinner.
Jack scoffed at his immaturity and kept his eyes glued to the screen.
“Oh I think someone’s home…” Jack whispered from behind the camera as the front door opened.
Alex walked in and his jaw hit the ground at the scene Jack had created. His adorable bunny teeth were showing through his beaming smile and he jumped up and down out of excitement.
“BABY!!! Where are you?!” He yelled and Jack moved out from where he was hiding only to get tackled to the ground by his boyfriend. The camera dropped to the ground next to them and landed so their faces were in view.
Alex was on top of Jack who was lying flat on his back and currently getting attacked by kisses.
“I thought you forgot!” Alex exclaimed as he paused his assault on Jack.
“Cleary you forgot that I’m-“
“Batman. How could I forget?” Alex finished his boyfriend sentence with an adoring smile.
The boys started making out heavily and both of their shirts were off before the realization hit Alex.
“Jack! The camera’s on!” He stated with wide eyes as he looked over at it. Jack chuckled and sat up with Alex in his lap before grabbing the camera and turning it towards himself.
“I know you all were excited to see us have hot steamy sexy but my boy toy has asked me to turn off the camera.” Jack said into the lens with a mock pouty face.
Alex rolled his eyes and smiled before turning the camera so it was facing him. “Jack Barakat. I just wanted you to know that you are the best boyfriend in the entire world and no one will ever make me as happy as you do. Thank you for everything you did for me today and I love you with all my heart.” Alex spoke sweetly before blowing a kiss to the camera.
He turned the camera to face Jack before leaning in to kiss him right before the tape turned to white noise.
Jack scrambled for the remote and rewound the tape and paused it on the exact second his face was in frame after Alex told him he loved him. Chills swept over his body when he looked at himself on the screen. He jumped up and ran to his room and grabbed a picture of him and Zack in Disney world and brought it back to the living room to compare.
He was stunned to say the least. Zack was completely, totally and 100% right.
The boy with Alex in the video and the boy next to Zack in the photo were not the same person. Jack was cut so deep by the break up with Alex that he completely shut off his emotions. He had been numb since the day Alex walked out of his life. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he let himself think about Alex. He thought about when they realized their feelings for each other, their first date, losing their virginity to each other…He felt his heart swell with the memories. He had been so incredibly blind to his true feelings. He truly did love Zack. But he was never in love with him. He would never be able to give Zack his whole heart and despite the distance, time and everything else that had come between them…he was still deeply and unbelievably in love with Alex.
Jack decided he had been hiding for long enough.
He grabbed his jacket and ran for the door, down the stairs and out to his car. He drove the familiar drive to Alex’s apartment and arrived around thirty minutes later. Jack sat in his car with sweaty palms and a racing heart.What the fuck was he supposed to say? It had been so long since the boys had been alone together…Before tonight they hadn’t even made contact in years. Jack shook his nerves and walked up to Alex’s front door and bit his lip before knocking, honestly considering running away as fast as he could. Deep down he knew it wouldn’t change anything if he did chicken out because one way or another he’d end up on Alex’s doorstep.
He knocked three times and felt his heart jumping out of his chest as he waited. The door finally opened to reveal a very surprised Alex.
“Jack? W-why are y-you here?” He stuttered. Jack pushed past him and walked inside and Alex shut the door behind them and turned to face his ex-boyfriend.
“Why did you do it? I need to know.” Jack replied sternly.
“Why did I do wh-?”
“Don’t give me that shit, Alex! Why did you say no when I proposed? Why did you let us die? Why did you fucking destroy me the way you did?!” Jack yelled.
Alex’s expression changed and rage swept over his features.
“WHAT?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I was nineteen years old, Jack! I wasn’t ready to get married yet! I didn’t say NO! I said I was crazy in love with you and I DID want to marry you someday! Then I woke up the next morning and you were gone! You didn’t even fucking say bye to me. You left me, you left the band and you didn’t even have the decency to tell my WHY you were breaking my heart into a million pieces!” Alex screamed with tears now present in his eyes.
“I wanted you to fight for me, Alex! I was devastated when you turned me down. I needed you to PROVE to me that our love was still real and you DIDN’T! You let me walk away like it was the easiest thing you’d ever done.”
“How the HELL was I supposed to know that?! Maybe if you TALKED to me like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING then we could’ve worked it out! But no! You left me behind and ran as fast as you could into Zack’s arms. Who is your FIANCE, in case you forgot so I don’t know why this conversation is even relevant!”
“Zack left me.” Jack stated in a much softer tone than before.
“What…?” Alex asked in disbelief.
“After we saw you tonight, he packed his things and left. We’re done.”
“B-but why?”
Jack walked up to Alex and crashed their lips together. Alex moaned in surprise and quickly laced his fingers into Jack’s hair and pulled him closer to his body. They broke apart moments later when they ran out of breath.
“That’s why. The fact that I can kiss you after two years of complete separation and all of a sudden I’m sixteen years old again. You ran away with my heart a long time ago, Alex.”
Alex looked deep into Jack’s eyes as tears started to slip down his cheeks. He finally took a deep breath and spoke.
“Don’t do this to me, Jack. Don’t let me wake up in the morning without you again. My heart can’t take losing you twice…” Alex choked out to his rapidly falling tears.
“I love you, Alex.” Jack stated with complete honesty as he looked deep into the love of his life’s eyes.
“God…Jay…I’ve fucking dreamed about hearing you say that again. I love you so much it hurts.” Alex replied breathlessly as Jack felt his heart swell to a million times its regular size. He hadn’t felt this alive in as long as he could remember.
Jack captured Alex’s lips with his and immediately moved his tongue inside. Kissing Alex was so familiar while still feeling like something brand new and exciting. The boys started shedding clothes and moving backwards towards Alex’s bedroom. Jack pushed Alex down onto his bed and crawled on top of him so he was straddling his waist.
Alex sat up and removed his shirt revealing a long necklace he had tucked into his shirt. Jack went to remove it but froze when he saw that dangling from the end of it was the ring he had used to propose to the boy with so long ago.
“You kept it?” Jack asked out of disbelief as he held it between his fingers.
“Of course I did, Jack. I loved you. I still love you. It was all I had left of you. I would slip it on my finger every once in a while and just dream about what would’ve happened if I had said yes.” Alex said as he looked down.
Jack tilted his head up to reconnect their lips, as if to say that the past was behind them. He laid Alex back down on the bed and made love to him for hours.
Alex woke up the next morning to a cold bed. He quickly sat up and felt the tears already begin to form in his eyes. How could he be so stupid? Jack left him once already. Why wouldn’t he do it again?
“Morning gorgeous” Alex raised his head from his hands when he heard Jack’s perfect voice and a wave of relief fell over him as he saw the boy he loved walking in the bedroom with a tray full of breakfast food.
“Baby? Why are you crying?” Jack asked in a concerned tone.
“I…I thought you left again…” Alex said in an embarrassed tone as he laughed at his own foolishness.
Jack shook his head and set the tray on the dresser before pulling Alex to his feet.
“I’m not leaving you, baby.”
Jack whispered before he slid down onto one knee and Alex’s jaw dropped open.
“I was actually thinking that I never wanted to be apart from you for another day. Would you do me the honor of marrying me? We can wait as long as you like…I just-“
“YES! Jack Barakat there is nothing I would rather do in this world than marry you!” Alex squealed as he tackled Jack and sent the both flying backwards.
Alex pressed their lips together and Jack beamed up at him.
“I love you.” Jack smiled and pecked Alex on the lips.
“Not as much as I love you.” Alex responded before attacking his now-fiance with kisses all over his face.
Six Months Later
“But I like the roses!” Alex pouted at his fiancé.
“Babeeeee! Roses are so cliché!”
“I don’t care Jack Barakat. You are making me be the girl andwalk down the aisle so I get to pick the flowers! Plus….” Alex leaned in to whisper his next words so the rest of the store couldn’t hear, “If you let me get them, I’ll give you head on the ride home.” He spoke in his most seductive tone before licking the shell of Jack’s ear.
Jack’s eyes widened and he turned his attention to the florist, “We’re gonna go with the roses.”
Alex smirked and patted Jack on the head, “Good boy.”
Jack rolled his eyes and gave Alex a peck on the lips before they heard a familiar voice.
“Jack? Alex?”
The couple turned to see none other than Zack Merrick standing behind them.
“Zack…wow it’s great to see you! How are you?” Jack asked still stunned at his presence.
“I’m gonna let you guys talk. It’s great to see you Zack.” Alex stated with a genuine smile before walking away to look at other flower arrangements.
Jack moved in and gave his ex-boyfriend a hug.
“You look so happy, Jack.” Zack stated, sincerely.
“I-I am…How have you been doing?” Jack studdered still clearly nervous.
“Jack you need to calm down. I’m not going to bite you.” Zack said as he chuckled at the flustered boy.
“I’m actually here with my boyfriend, Martin. We’re picking out flowers to send to his mom for her birthday.” Zack said with a smile.
“Oh wow, Zack that’s great! I’m so glad you found someone.”
“Yeah…I am, too. It’s been going really well actually.” Zack responded before Martin came over and kissed him on the cheek.
“Babe are you ready to go?” Martin asked.
“Yeah, sure! I’ll meet you at the car.” Zack stated before giving Martin a kiss and sending him on the way.
“I’m sorry, Zack. For everything.” Jack said as he looked down at his shoes.
“Hey now. None of that. I don’t blame you for anything, Jack. I don’t regret our relationship and I’m thankful for the time we had together. We just weren’t meant to be, ya know? And that look I told you that you always gave Alex? Martin looks at me that way. We both deserve to be with the people who bring that dopey grin to our faces and we have them now. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you, Jack Barakat. You deserve to be so, so happy and you are truly one of the most amazing people I have ever known.” Zack smiled at Jack before leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek and turning to walk out of the store.
“Hey Zack?” Jack called after him.
Zack turned back right before walking out the door.
“Thank you.” Jack replied with a smile. Zack gave him a smile and a nod before walking out the door and getting in the car with Martin. Jack watched as Martin leaned over and kissed him and they drove off. Jack had a distant smile on his face as he continued to look out the window. He felt so at peace knowing that Zack found someone who was able to give him all the love and attention he deserved.
“Helllloooooo? Earth to boyfriend??” Alex called from behind him.
Jack was woken up from his daydream and turned around to a skeptical looking boyfriend.
“Everything okay, babe?” Alex asked.
Jack wrapped his arms around Alex and kissed him on the forehead before replying, “Everything is perfect.”
Three Months Later
Jack stood at the altar holding the hands of the boy he loved so badly it hurt and said “I do” without the slightest bit of hesitation. The preacher declared him and Alex officially married and he kissed his husband with every ounce of love he had inside of him. They had the best reception they could’ve ever asked for and were wished the best by all their relatives and friends and were now on their way to the airport to catch a plane to Italy to begin their two week honeymoon.
Alex was resting his head on Jack’s shoulder and turned to look up at him with those gorgeous brown eyes that Jack could get lost inside.
“What are you thinking about, baby?” Jack asked his husband.
“Mmm…I don’t wanna say. It’s really cheesy.” Alex said as he blushed the most adorable shade of red. Jack loved that after all these years, he still had that effect on Alex.
“Aweee tell me baby. I love when you’re cheesy.” Jack responded with a smile.
“I…I just can’t believe we made it. I thought for sure that I had lost you and now we’re married and I’m just so fucking happy. I can’t believe you’re mine again and that I get to wake up to you every single day. I literally love every single thing about you, Jack. Just…thank you…for choosing me.”
Jack felt his heart swell and he pulled Alex over to straddle his lap before responding.
“Babe. I’m the lucky one. I look at you and my heart just aches. I can’t believe that someone as perfect as you exists and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You ran away with my heart the moment I laid eyes on you and I love you so much.”
A tear rolled down Alex’s cheek and he smiled brightly.
“You promise always love me as much as you do in this moment? I mean I can be quitteeeee a handful and the rest of our lives is a longggg time, Jack Barakat.” Alex teased.
“Hmmm no. I don’t promise that.”
Alex quirked an eyebrow at his husband.
“I can’t promise that because every day when I wake up I love you more and more. And I wont love you for the rest of our lives…I will love you much, much longer than that.” Jack smiled through his own teary eyes that had formed.
Alex crashed his lips down onto his husband’s and the two began their lives together. They knew it wouldn’t be easy but they also knew that their love could conquer even the largest of obstacles and the world didn’t stand a chance.
The End