(no subject)

[lindsay_babe]

i talked to terracne tonight and he said theres a story behind why he MIGHT be moving but he will tell me later when he finds out what hes doing and he said hes not mad at torri he just dont understand how she could not believe him and you just accused him when she should have known it was a lie because he would never say that!!!! but he said if shes ever around hannah dont call him because he dont wanna talk to her when shes around hannah!! so ya we talked and stuff and hes getting a LJ and i was like hey terrance do you know what next fri is and hes like you Bday( he knew i was so shocked and happy) and he was like well are you gonna have a party (and he said it like he wanted to come if i was having one ) and i was like well me and a whole bunch of friends are going to the movies then coming home and then going midnight bowling!! so i hope he will come maybe if he goes to the movies i know my mom will let him come over then well go midnight bowling and then terracne can go home so im very excited i cant wait i hope i get to see him thats all i want for my bday is to see him and if we go to the movies!! aybe ill get my wish im so happy right now!! i cant wait now!! just thinking about him makes me so happy but so sad!! but o well i just know on the outside nothing will EVER happen but deep down inside somthings telling me not to let go and to just keep holding on but i cant much longer now that im not alowed to even talk to him and i dont see him ans stuff its just SO confusing tomorrow im gonna call him because he asked me!! and ask him the big question (how he can sit there and know im SO MADLY in love with him and just not even think about it and just let me keep going on getting crushed little by little everyday) so..... well im at mollys right now and were trying to pull an all nighter! lol thats why i could call terrance in the first place im not at home im at mollys but thats not why i came over here i love hanging out with molly shes so awsome she was trying to get me a boyfriend she was typing to her Boyfirend nick and she like lindsay desprite do you know anybody and i was like thanks molly now i sound like a slut lol but she got it all worked out so..... lol wow i always have so much fun with my molly im just dont know what im gonna do when she moves im gonna miss her so much shes so great i love her to death lol but anyway so i talked to terrance for 40 mins but then he had to eat but he asked me to call him tomorrow so im happy and we talked the whole time and he didnt put me on hold the whole time i was suprised but anyway so.. ya GOSH i just love him so much actually i dont even think i love him that much i mean i do but over all just wanna be cared about and held in somebodys arms and have them mean it when they say they care about me!! thats all its so hard to watch life i mean everywhere you look you see couples kissing, holding hands, and hugging and just being held in each other arms!! its not far i thought terrance was the one that would do that for me but i guess not and it just makes me so mad because i just feel so alone al the time and feel like crying i mean the 2 best guys ive ever meet was todd and danny (NOT IN THAT WAY) i mean there just so caring and care about everything and are good dads and just so cool i wish i had a dad like that i mean i dont even have a dad and i wish i had a guy like that that was just so caring and loving and its sounds like in a gross way but i DO NOT MEAN IN A GROSS WAY i just think there good guys!!wow this is getting really long so i think im gonna go for now mollys taking a nap and were listening to this amazing song so hey if you wanna comment plaese do lol XoOx write more later love always

* * - Lindsay - * *

XoOx ring me up them sweet tones if you wanna come to my B-day thingy leave a comment or call!! you guys should have my digits and if you dont then you cant come... JKing lol just comment then! XoOx