(no subject)
Maybe Sarah is right. Maybe it's better for me to be doing something rather than simply sitting around doing nothing, which is something that usually consumes most of my life. Then again… maybe not.
I hated high school until I left. Actually, I still don’t miss high school except for all of my classes being confined to one building and the couple of good friends I made during my four years there. That is beside the point and I needn’t stroll down memory lane because doing something like that would be so lame that it would require a cheesy soundtrack produced by Disney circa 1999. My point is that I’m not cut out for the working world, which doesn’t relate to anything I stated in the previous 3 sentences.
Although I do see myself as a fairly determined person I am also a giant quitter. These two contradictory things balance each other out and create an equilibrium of sorts. I drift in the middle ground between “doing” and “not doing”. The stasis in my life is not overwhelming, it is underwhemling and yes, that is not a word, but banal, dull and humdrum didn’t seem adequate. This doesn’t even make sense to me. (This= everything I have said up to this point)
Perhaps it is the premature aging frightening me or my fatalist outlook or just maybe the fact that for the last three days I’ve been running on black coffee, granola bars and instant oatmeal but I have concluded that life will often be the pits no matter what. I wish I could come up with a more poetic or less angst-drenched way of putting it, but it’s all the same no matter what way you say it.
This rambling should come to an end. Oh, and I don’t know why I said Disney circa 1999. I’m not even sure what movies Disney came out with in 1999 other than Tarzan. But hey, Phil Collins sung on that soundtrack and Phil has a whole Swiss-Load of Cheese-Appeal.
Swiss-Load?
I hated high school until I left. Actually, I still don’t miss high school except for all of my classes being confined to one building and the couple of good friends I made during my four years there. That is beside the point and I needn’t stroll down memory lane because doing something like that would be so lame that it would require a cheesy soundtrack produced by Disney circa 1999. My point is that I’m not cut out for the working world, which doesn’t relate to anything I stated in the previous 3 sentences.
Although I do see myself as a fairly determined person I am also a giant quitter. These two contradictory things balance each other out and create an equilibrium of sorts. I drift in the middle ground between “doing” and “not doing”. The stasis in my life is not overwhelming, it is underwhemling and yes, that is not a word, but banal, dull and humdrum didn’t seem adequate. This doesn’t even make sense to me. (This= everything I have said up to this point)
Perhaps it is the premature aging frightening me or my fatalist outlook or just maybe the fact that for the last three days I’ve been running on black coffee, granola bars and instant oatmeal but I have concluded that life will often be the pits no matter what. I wish I could come up with a more poetic or less angst-drenched way of putting it, but it’s all the same no matter what way you say it.
This rambling should come to an end. Oh, and I don’t know why I said Disney circa 1999. I’m not even sure what movies Disney came out with in 1999 other than Tarzan. But hey, Phil Collins sung on that soundtrack and Phil has a whole Swiss-Load of Cheese-Appeal.
Swiss-Load?