"its not the end of the world, but you can fucking see it from here"
yo! 8)
so hm this week has definetly been interesting.
hung out with heather like everyday...except wendsday lol. yeah we're effing sweet 8)
yesterday i went over heathers and we chilled until about 4 or somthing and then we went and got coffe :) then we walked to steves. hung out at the park and stuff. then he got mad at me or somthing. watever. sick of people getting mad at me for no reason. sure. watever.
anywho!
after steves me heather and karen went to skate world! haha we're sweet i know. but it was fun. lots of memories there. ha within the like first 10 mins i had this little like honestly 4 foot kid comes up to me and is all like my friend wants to skate with you. ha little kids. so immature. i didn't skate with him. probably scarred him for life lol. jk. so anyway. it was really fun tho! but my knee hurt like hell after but oh well.
so on the way of leaving ryan called me, which was around 10:30 and we talked until 2. it was cool. need to talk to that kid more. but like we were talking and i was just like rambling about stuff and then i like didn't hear anything from his end and i'm like ryan? ..nothing. ryan? silence. RYAN! what flavor? wtf? haha it was funny. apparently he had fallen asleep and had a little miny dream about me making kool aid. oh ryan what am i gonna do with you? lol jk love you xo<3
so i remember when i was little i used to think about what high school would be like and what i would be like in high school. and the more i think about it the more i realize that i'm not like i always thought i would end up being like. kind of bugs me. i always imagined myself as being so active in school and getting great grades and having fabulous friends. now some of my friends, are infact majorly fabulous. but then there are always the bad apples. i just idk i guess i wish i lived up to my fantasy. but i guess only a few people get that good luck. well i guess you should make the best of it as is and make new fantasies.
so um yeah...that one hurt even more. how could you say that to me? i've been friends with you longer then any one of my friends and you do that. i don't understand how you could do that.
my life is so disfunctional. it amazes me.
i'm sorry if i seem like i'm being selfish. in a way i am. but i feel like that you said that and you promised me. and no one is supposed to break promises. i understand fully and completly that feelings change and i have no problem with that. but its about acting on those feelings. you promised me you wouldn't because of what happened to me. and i feel that if you do it any way then it totally disregards what happens to me and i feel like you no longer care about how much it hurt me. i'm sorry if you don't understand but i love you with all my heart and i hope this can work out good eventually. bffe xoxo *to a certain person who should know who she is*
i o p e n my eyes
i try to see but im blinded by the white light
i can’t remember how
i can’t remember why
im lying here tonight
and i can’t stand the pain
and i can’t make it go away
no i can’t stand the pain
how could this happen to me
i made my m/i/s/t/a/k/e/s
i’ve got no where to run
the night goes on
as i’m fading away
i’m sick of this life
i just wanna scream
how could this happen to me
okay well i'm gonna go watch a movie
fare well
lindsay<3
xo