Lately.
I have been proud of my brain for keeping boys as far from its obsessive thoughts as possible. Dates can come and go, the weeks seem to be flying by, and I'm neither here nor there. Most of the time, I'm in a weird floaty zen-like state where things just seem to bounce off of me. Things that I know would normally irk or cause me to think and rethink and obsess. My mind has been at ease, just taking in the experiences as they come to me and moving on to the next. I am far done with the looking. Whatever happens happens and I seem not to be too terribly concerned with any of it lately. And it feels alright, lack of pressure.
One of my closest friends and I seem to be in a weird place at the moment, I don't know that there's much I can do about it, and I'm dealing with the reality (funny word choice) of accepting this, as well.
I have to work the day before and the day after Christmas. With a 5+ hour drive home combined with my shift where I don't get off till 10:30, this makes going home for Christmas impossible. I'll be spending it here by myself with my puppy dog, and that's alright with me.
I saw the gayest christmas musical thing EVER this weekend.
I like when in a group setting, different people bring out different parts of my personality. I can tend to crack myself up with chain-of-thought reactions.
Being the total klutz that I am, I managed to give my right hand some super nasty third degree burns (at least I assume them to be, it's hard to tell) when dealing with some really hot soup today. It looks horrible, and feels even better, and I am most definitely not looking forward to putting latex gloves on tomorrow at work.
I am sick of the cold. I miss the sun. I miss lots of things. I miss a little bit of September, I miss a bit of this past summer, I miss the night I laid in the grass and watched the clouds. I miss the good parts. And I miss the way the first night felt, even if the passion wasn't true. I miss Elle, and I miss that $10,000 plastic chair at Pantages, and I miss pretending to be fancy for a night, and I really miss doing drunk ninja moves in the middle of downtown Toronto and falling flat on my face, and lying there laughing for 5 minutes straight afterwards. I miss that stupid stuffed llama on the dashboard, and I miss serious musical discussions, I miss someone singing a song to/for me for the first time ever last month. I really miss the sounds of swelling e-bow, and I even miss a little bit of lake Bryan and Lick Creek Park with a flashlight on a dark summers night. I miss sitting on that couch laughing, so carefree. I miss our usual catch-up phone calls and philosophical break-downs that went by the wayside after the nonsense, and I miss the summer I spent catching frogs and getting high in the greenhouse on campus. I miss little bits and pieces of everyone and everything.
One of my closest friends and I seem to be in a weird place at the moment, I don't know that there's much I can do about it, and I'm dealing with the reality (funny word choice) of accepting this, as well.
I have to work the day before and the day after Christmas. With a 5+ hour drive home combined with my shift where I don't get off till 10:30, this makes going home for Christmas impossible. I'll be spending it here by myself with my puppy dog, and that's alright with me.
I saw the gayest christmas musical thing EVER this weekend.
I like when in a group setting, different people bring out different parts of my personality. I can tend to crack myself up with chain-of-thought reactions.
Being the total klutz that I am, I managed to give my right hand some super nasty third degree burns (at least I assume them to be, it's hard to tell) when dealing with some really hot soup today. It looks horrible, and feels even better, and I am most definitely not looking forward to putting latex gloves on tomorrow at work.
I am sick of the cold. I miss the sun. I miss lots of things. I miss a little bit of September, I miss a bit of this past summer, I miss the night I laid in the grass and watched the clouds. I miss the good parts. And I miss the way the first night felt, even if the passion wasn't true. I miss Elle, and I miss that $10,000 plastic chair at Pantages, and I miss pretending to be fancy for a night, and I really miss doing drunk ninja moves in the middle of downtown Toronto and falling flat on my face, and lying there laughing for 5 minutes straight afterwards. I miss that stupid stuffed llama on the dashboard, and I miss serious musical discussions, I miss someone singing a song to/for me for the first time ever last month. I really miss the sounds of swelling e-bow, and I even miss a little bit of lake Bryan and Lick Creek Park with a flashlight on a dark summers night. I miss sitting on that couch laughing, so carefree. I miss our usual catch-up phone calls and philosophical break-downs that went by the wayside after the nonsense, and I miss the summer I spent catching frogs and getting high in the greenhouse on campus. I miss little bits and pieces of everyone and everything.