I know it's been a very long while since I've posted, but things really haven't changed much since then, so I don't think anyone's been missing anything
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Hey Krissy. I'm sorry that you feel this way. I agree with you, you should take your own advice and do what YOU believe will make you happy. We only get one life and it's up to us to do what we want with it and take control before it controls us. It's tough waking up every morning to a job that you don't like, or being stuck in a hole that you can't seem to get yourself out of. Don't believe that perception that you've waited to late, or there's no more time because it's not true. I know that you have major attachments at home, and I totally understand, believe me living in Europe has caused me a lot of tears and I miss Matt and my family like crazy, but I'm really glad that I did it. Hope for the best. If you really want to go to Japan (which I think by reading your journal and from knowing you that you do), then you should find a way to get there. Remember, Japan may be temporary, but Sam and your family will always be a permanent facet in your life. If you don't go, perhaps you'll always wonder "why" and "what if" and it may not be so different than how you feel now. Hopefully Sam and Powder can come with you, but it is hard considering Powder is so old and you'll have to be careful. However, remember that three months isn't that long. Three months is a summer, and you remember how quickly summers go by. When you came back home from Iowa you and Sam were separated for a long period of time too and you guys got through it. Perhaps he'll be able to stay with his family if he can't go. If you stay one month, it's not that long at all and you'll be able to see and experience all that you've been dreaming of for so long. Keep your objective, your goal, in mind and remember to do what makes you happy. Good luck.
Thanks, Ciara. I really appreciate the words of encouragement right now. Honestly, I'm not too concerned with leaving Sam for 3 months. He can take care of himself, and his family would be more than happy to let him stay with them for a few months or more, if need be. I think my major worry about leaving would be Powder, and if she'd be okay moving to a new state if Sam needed to, or if she would be okay without me for a while, and what if she gets sick or something while I'm gone, and so forth. I know some people would say "she's just a dog", but I love her entirely too much to make a major decision without thinking about her needs first. I can guarantee that she'll have a loving home here with me and Sam. I can't guarantee the same thing if she lived elsewhere.
I'm trying to stay positive about someday going to Japan. Hopefully, it will be someday soon, but I'm trying to accept that I can't go now within good conscience or within my current financial condition. I think my problem is that I love the language and culture so much, and worked really hard for a degree in it, so I don't want to go there just to visit. I want to actually live and work there for a while. So, I guess I'm trying to say that I am committed to going, but the trick is figuring out where to get the money and how to do it at the most appropriate time.
Gah, it sounds like I'm making up excuses. I'll stop rambling now.
Love,
Ciara
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I'm trying to stay positive about someday going to Japan. Hopefully, it will be someday soon, but I'm trying to accept that I can't go now within good conscience or within my current financial condition. I think my problem is that I love the language and culture so much, and worked really hard for a degree in it, so I don't want to go there just to visit. I want to actually live and work there for a while. So, I guess I'm trying to say that I am committed to going, but the trick is figuring out where to get the money and how to do it at the most appropriate time.
Gah, it sounds like I'm making up excuses. I'll stop rambling now.
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