How odd
I'm feeling very strange today. Actually I've felt very strange since yesterday morning- Saturday night I had a bizarre dream. I'm not sure of the exact details but involved the TMNT. It had a very fanficish sort of bent- with overtones of the new cartoon and my *cough* nc-17 work.
So I've had this weird feeling. I'm not sure how to describe it exactly- it's a feeling I used to get primarily when I was writing, or mentally composing, TMNT fanfics. Mostly the latter. There's this very low-key sort of underlying pleasure associated with thinking through a plot, as well as a semi-erotic sort of tension. Do any of you fanficcers understand what I mean?
It's not a bad feeling, in fact I quite enjoy it, and it IS familiar. But there's an element to it that nags at me, and I'm not quite sure how to make it stop. Maybe if I wrote something- I dunno, perhaps I'll test that theory later if I have time. It's just this sense that I should be making some sort of mental connection, or identifying this feeling with something that's just out of reach.
It reminds me of the feeling I used to get when I dreamed about the TMNT as an adolescent. See- the first thing I saw related to the ninja turtles was one of the original graphic novels that compiled the black and white books. It was the original TMNT creation story, from the Mirage comic. But then I forgot all about it- I got into the cartoon and the Archie books and it took me several years to rediscover Mirage (ironically "Time and Again" was the key for me) and even more time to find the first graphic novel.
All this while I had been having these TMNT dreams- but all of them had a dark, very gritty undertone, and it gave me a distinctly odd feeling...a sort of subconscious deja vu, a nagging idea that I should be making a connection, but I couldn't grasp it. The dreams made me feel good, but they also made me feel a longing for...something.
Later, when I found the first graphic novel and read it, it was like an electric shock. I suddenly made the connection.
This feeling is sort of like what I had with those dreams. I keep thinking of the cartoon and of the comics I saw the other day- although the dream seemed to have no real common ground with either. And again I feel this odd longing- is it merely a desire to know the rest of the story from that half-memory of the dream? Or is it something that I can't remember I've forgotten?
So I've had this weird feeling. I'm not sure how to describe it exactly- it's a feeling I used to get primarily when I was writing, or mentally composing, TMNT fanfics. Mostly the latter. There's this very low-key sort of underlying pleasure associated with thinking through a plot, as well as a semi-erotic sort of tension. Do any of you fanficcers understand what I mean?
It's not a bad feeling, in fact I quite enjoy it, and it IS familiar. But there's an element to it that nags at me, and I'm not quite sure how to make it stop. Maybe if I wrote something- I dunno, perhaps I'll test that theory later if I have time. It's just this sense that I should be making some sort of mental connection, or identifying this feeling with something that's just out of reach.
It reminds me of the feeling I used to get when I dreamed about the TMNT as an adolescent. See- the first thing I saw related to the ninja turtles was one of the original graphic novels that compiled the black and white books. It was the original TMNT creation story, from the Mirage comic. But then I forgot all about it- I got into the cartoon and the Archie books and it took me several years to rediscover Mirage (ironically "Time and Again" was the key for me) and even more time to find the first graphic novel.
All this while I had been having these TMNT dreams- but all of them had a dark, very gritty undertone, and it gave me a distinctly odd feeling...a sort of subconscious deja vu, a nagging idea that I should be making a connection, but I couldn't grasp it. The dreams made me feel good, but they also made me feel a longing for...something.
Later, when I found the first graphic novel and read it, it was like an electric shock. I suddenly made the connection.
This feeling is sort of like what I had with those dreams. I keep thinking of the cartoon and of the comics I saw the other day- although the dream seemed to have no real common ground with either. And again I feel this odd longing- is it merely a desire to know the rest of the story from that half-memory of the dream? Or is it something that I can't remember I've forgotten?