Telling yourself to relax and 'just breathe' is ironic in the not-funny way when you're sick.
And it's not working, in the emotional 'just breathe' or the physical 'just breathe' way.
I am sick. Again, yes, I know, aren't we all so tired of hearing it? I know I am. I got it from my sister and the AH, who both got it. I did not need that particular gift, but thank you both. Sneezing, coughing, congested, sinus, and now it's in my upper airway, and I'm coughing so hard that the spasm takes over entirely, and I think I'm going to dislocate or crack something.
Yes, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I should have gone today, but I couldn't get in.
I missed two afternoons of work last week with this, and I was going to go in on the weekend and catch up, but I couldn't. I absolutely couldn't even function. I haven't slept a proper night in most of a week, because I cough all night. I missed yesterday at work, and I'll miss today.
This is the worst time of year for me to be missing work. Absolute. Worst. I can't afford the time. I could be working sixteen hour days, and it would not be enough time. I could, and have, been working weekends and coming in early. (Yes, this is at least part of the reason why I'm sick now, I am aware.)
I can't afford to be away. And I can't go in. I can't. I'm just too fucking sick. And I'm trying really, really hard not to panic, because I'm the only person who does my job, the only person who remotely knows my job, and the longer I'm away, the worse it's going to be for me when I get back.
I know I need to relax, and just breathe. But I can't.
I am sick. Again, yes, I know, aren't we all so tired of hearing it? I know I am. I got it from my sister and the AH, who both got it. I did not need that particular gift, but thank you both. Sneezing, coughing, congested, sinus, and now it's in my upper airway, and I'm coughing so hard that the spasm takes over entirely, and I think I'm going to dislocate or crack something.
Yes, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I should have gone today, but I couldn't get in.
I missed two afternoons of work last week with this, and I was going to go in on the weekend and catch up, but I couldn't. I absolutely couldn't even function. I haven't slept a proper night in most of a week, because I cough all night. I missed yesterday at work, and I'll miss today.
This is the worst time of year for me to be missing work. Absolute. Worst. I can't afford the time. I could be working sixteen hour days, and it would not be enough time. I could, and have, been working weekends and coming in early. (Yes, this is at least part of the reason why I'm sick now, I am aware.)
I can't afford to be away. And I can't go in. I can't. I'm just too fucking sick. And I'm trying really, really hard not to panic, because I'm the only person who does my job, the only person who remotely knows my job, and the longer I'm away, the worse it's going to be for me when I get back.
I know I need to relax, and just breathe. But I can't.