Sorry in advance... dump
I hate my life.
Yep.
I hate my life. I'm going through yet another slump... All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I don't know why I'm in school. Well, I know I'm in school so I can get a degree, and, eventually, a good job. But how do I know I'm going to get the job I want? I want to be an Egyptologist so badly, but it's getting harder and harder for people to get jobs as Egyptologists, thanks to Dr. Zahi Hawass, the curator of Egyptian antiquities.
Josh caught me crying. I felt so stupid, so small, so selfish. I just couldn't stop crying. I still can't. He came in and said that there was something that might cheer me up... that Stargate was on. It made me so happy that he told me that, but I couldn't say so. I was trying too hard not to cry. I hate crying, but I can't stop.
I want to go home. But I don't know where home is. I love Colorado, I really do, but my parent's house isn't mine. It isn't home.
It feels like there's this big hole in my chest. Cliché, huh? That's what it feels like.
I also keep feeling like I'm wasting time and money going through school.
But I know... I know... that I need this education, just like I need that little piece of paper that says I completed my college career, just like I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I know it... but that's not putting it into practice.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all my friends here on LJ and all my friends here at college. I love you all so much, and you keep getting the brunt of my depression streaks. I'm sorry.
Thanks for listening, though.
Love and Smiles
Page
Yep.
I hate my life. I'm going through yet another slump... All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I don't know why I'm in school. Well, I know I'm in school so I can get a degree, and, eventually, a good job. But how do I know I'm going to get the job I want? I want to be an Egyptologist so badly, but it's getting harder and harder for people to get jobs as Egyptologists, thanks to Dr. Zahi Hawass, the curator of Egyptian antiquities.
Josh caught me crying. I felt so stupid, so small, so selfish. I just couldn't stop crying. I still can't. He came in and said that there was something that might cheer me up... that Stargate was on. It made me so happy that he told me that, but I couldn't say so. I was trying too hard not to cry. I hate crying, but I can't stop.
I want to go home. But I don't know where home is. I love Colorado, I really do, but my parent's house isn't mine. It isn't home.
It feels like there's this big hole in my chest. Cliché, huh? That's what it feels like.
I also keep feeling like I'm wasting time and money going through school.
But I know... I know... that I need this education, just like I need that little piece of paper that says I completed my college career, just like I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I know it... but that's not putting it into practice.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all my friends here on LJ and all my friends here at college. I love you all so much, and you keep getting the brunt of my depression streaks. I'm sorry.
Thanks for listening, though.
Love and Smiles
Page