Well, now. That was sweet, and nice, a little bit of potential angst but not overdone. Michael Holden’s careful comments to Mal Madison hinted at his awareness of the daughter he lost and the one he HAS to be afraid he’ll lose, without it being obvious or “it’s all about ME”. Claudia Joy … your depiction completely captures the actual character on the show, always deferring to her husband’s position (after all, he’s the one with the rank and the responsibility, and he’ll pay the consequences career-wise of any misstep she makes), but at the same time an equal partner in her own way.
You got most of the ensemble here, we didn’t see Joan or Roland but all the other regulars were present. This could have made for a crowded stage, but I’d say you struck a workable balance between showing enough of them to establish their personalities and allow them to contribute to the story, and showing just little enough of them that they weren’t competing for attention. Roxy’s bluntness, and Pamela’s humorous commentary on Roxy’s turns of phrase, definitely evoke recognition of the women as we know them. Denise, in particular, came across well, used for background and accent, never really being center stage but always fulfilling her role (in-character) when it was time for her to say or do anything.
(Did Chase or Trevor ever actually speak at all? In a longer story, that would have come across as negative space, the two of them “there” but not making their selves or personalities known. Here, I’d say it falls into the category of a judgment call. Something to think about in the future, but not yet a flaw per se.)
The father-daughter focus could have threatened to make this into a story that used “Army Wives” as a stage setting, rather than a true “Army Wives” fanfic. Instead, there seemed to be just enough to call forth responses from the characters we know, and in the process show us a little more of them.
You got most of the ensemble here, we didn’t see Joan or Roland but all the other regulars were present. This could have made for a crowded stage, but I’d say you struck a workable balance between showing enough of them to establish their personalities and allow them to contribute to the story, and showing just little enough of them that they weren’t competing for attention. Roxy’s bluntness, and Pamela’s humorous commentary on Roxy’s turns of phrase, definitely evoke recognition of the women as we know them. Denise, in particular, came across well, used for background and accent, never really being center stage but always fulfilling her role (in-character) when it was time for her to say or do anything.
(Did Chase or Trevor ever actually speak at all? In a longer story, that would have come across as negative space, the two of them “there” but not making their selves or personalities known. Here, I’d say it falls into the category of a judgment call. Something to think about in the future, but not yet a flaw per se.)
The father-daughter focus could have threatened to make this into a story that used “Army Wives” as a stage setting, rather than a true “Army Wives” fanfic. Instead, there seemed to be just enough to call forth responses from the characters we know, and in the process show us a little more of them.
This was nice. Thank you.
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