The Sound of One Hand Clapping Pt 4 FRT John/Bobby
The Sound of One Hand Clapping Pt 4
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: FRAO (explicit language and more than implied M/M sex)
Characters/Pairings: Sam, Dean, John/Bobby some implied Sam/Dean
Warnings: Complete AU, non-explicit M/M sex, violence, angst, OOC behavior
Summary: This is my version of what happened to John after he made the deal with the YED in IMTOD. It's John get's sent to the Twilight Zone. I was reading another story which gave me the idea, and although this story is nothing at all like that one I did want to mention that reading it sparked my interest in the notion of sending John to another dimension.
Bobby stared at John, his face stricken. He had never considered that John, this man in front of him, might now want to stay in the place he had so rudely found himself. That he might be lost enough that death would seem a relief. But now looking at the man he loved he could see the despair on his face, feel the anger and grief pouring off him. Taking John by the hand the older man sighed, as much as it would hurt to lose John, he had to let go.
“I can do that for you John. I know a girl, a witch and she can open a portal between dimensions. The boys and I have to take care of this water spirit, but her house is on the way and we can stop there. I’ll give her a call.”
The house that they pulled up on front of was anything but impressive. It was more of a cottage than actual house but it was surrounded by a wide expanse of green lawn and neatly kept flower beds.
John slid out of the truck. Now that they were here he was hesitant. He had brought here to keep Bobby from doing something foolish, and John had tried to go along. He had tried to fit into this strange new world that was so different from his own, but he was failing badly. Every day John felt like he was drowning, slipping further and further away from who he was into oblivion. He was fighting just to keep his head above water and he was tired. If he could just see his own boys once more, see that the demon hadn’t gone back on his deal when John was brought here maybe he go on, for Bobby’s sake he was willing to try because try as he might John couldn’t fight the fact that he loved Bobby any more.
He stood behind Bobby and the boys staring at the wooden doors of the cottage as if they were the gates of hell itself. Who knew that they weren’t maybe this was all some elaborate trick of the demon; make John believe that he had been given a reprieve only to find himself walking into the execution room at the lat minute. The door opened.
The girl standing in the door was nondescript, plain and small. Her slender body swathed in a heavy denim skirt and multi-colored silk blouse. Her features were regular nothing odd and yet she missed the mark as far as beauty went. But her smile lit up the place. It transcended the here and now became something other, and John found himself falling into her eyes.
“Bobby how are you?” she asked stepping aside, and John could feel the pull of magic as they walked through the door. They followed her inside.
Once they were seated in the small living room Bobby and John on the sofa the boys on the floor the girl nodded.
“Jessie, I know you’ve opened a portal between dimensions before.”
She frowned, “Bobby what you want me to do is really dangerous. I can open a portal but I can’t control the flow of what happens inside it or on the other side. If I do this, if John goes into the portal and to the other dimension he might not be able to get back. You told me that his body is dead on the other side, and John’s spirit here is departed. Once the spirit of this man is gone from this body it will die.”
Bobby groaned, “How soon?”
Jessie shrugged, “He can be out of the body for no more than ten minutes before brain damage sets in. If he comes back in less than that it will be like he was resuscitated in the hospital, but if he lingers. Well, the more time he is out of the body the more damage it will sustain.”
John nodded, “I don’t need to be out long. I just need to see what happened to my sons in the other dimension. I’ll come back here quick.”
Turning to the older man Jessie placed a hand on hi shoulder, “John it’s not that simple. Once you cross over you have to find your way back. A disembodied soul is always called back to the creator. You’ll see the light and you can choose to go into it be rejoined with the Beginning. So if you do want to come back here you have to focus on the light that provide as a guide.”
“Okay,” John said. Jessie looked at Bobby.
“Do you want to discuss this?”
“I do want a few minutes alone with John. Where are we going to do the ritual?”
“In the bedroom.”
Jessie led them back to as small room in the back of the house. The bed was simply dressed with a hand-made patchwork quilt that Bobby was sure consisted of items that were important to the young woman. A focal point in her existence.
Motioning John to the bed she pulled a large candle out of a drawer and lit it. With a tiny small Jessie motioned to the candle.
“There are a few things that I need to tell you, John. Don’t fight the flow of energy to the other dimension once you get into the portal. You’ll be swept forward just relax and go with it. You’ll appear on the other side as a disembodied spirit, you’ll be visible to others there, and you might even be able to draw enough energy to be relatively solid but you won’t be able to speak. When you are close to using all your time two light will appear, the first one softer, smaller and yellow. If you choose that one you’ll come back here. John, look at this. See it. This is your light; the way home. If you follow it you will come back here without fail. If you see a brighter white light and you go into it your body here will die. You have nowhere else to go, there and back here or onwards.”
Turning to Bobby she nodded, “I’ll be right outside. Take your time.”
She didn’t add that it might be the last time that he spoke to John but Bobby could feel it lying heavy on his heart. With a tight grin he took John’s hand and kissed it. John lay on the bed staring up at Bobby’s face. The older man was sitting stiffly beside him propped against the headboard. John knew that he was doing was dangerous. There was a chance that once John was back in his original dimension he might not be able to find the path back. From the look on Bobby’s face John had began to believe that the older man thought John might not want to come back. And John was guiltily aware of the fact that he had thought about giving this all up, not coming back just surrendering to the demon in the end. And then Bobby took his hand again, smiling so gently at him. And John knew that he would be seeing his boys for the last time, no matter what happened.
“John, you know I love you, and not just the John that used to be. I love you as much as I ever loved him. There are so many things about you that are alike, and so many ways that you’re different. But in any case I love you. But if you can’t be here any more. If being in this place is hurting you then you can let go. Go on to the light. I won’t force you to come back here. You gave me more time than I was supposed to have. And don’t worry I won’t make any deals to bring him, or you, back.”
John nodded, reaching up he brushed the tears off the older man’s cheeks.
“I’m ready now.”
Jessie was moving around the room getting everything in order for the ritual. Both men watched the girl move with the skill and determination of a much older woman. He glanced back at John taking a deep breath.
The light of the candle flickered, glinting softly then elongating stretching out before him like a highway. John stood up taking a tentative step toward the soft warm glow. He hesitated briefly looking back for the bed, for Bobby but the room was gone and John was alone on a dark road.
Suddenly the road became a corridor, dark dank and foul smelling. John tried to pause tried to step back but his feet carried him forward into the dim light. He could hear sounds behind the walls, the scurrying of small feet and as much as John wanted to believe that there were rats in the walls he knew they were not. His head ached and his eyes burned. It seemed warm in the darkness, far too warm. The air grew still around him, filled only with his echoing footsteps clocking on the hard floor.
John wasn’t sure how long he had been in the hallway. He had thought that time might not exist where he was, here in between, but he could feel the minutes slipping away, knew that his body was laying on the bed in that room, decay already setting in. When he got back, if he got back, would he come home to a desiccated corpse to Bobby’s mourning face?
Was there any point in going back, to live a lie…a life that was not his own. Bobby loved his John the soft, spoiled little brat that he catered too. Not the man John was, not the hunter, the man who fought and killed demons. The man who had mourned his own loss for twenty-three years, the man who had made his sons in his own image and then laid down his life for them. He had no reason to go back there to that place, except that he loved Bobby. Did he love Bobby? John sighed, did he love anyone?
Suddenly John flinched in pain, his chest contracted in agony and he leaned against the wall. The rough texture of the wall bent under his body, shifting minutely and John realized that the material was paper thin. He could break through it; see what was on the other side. Jessie had said that there was only one way there and back again, but he could step aside fall off the path and find his won way. Go to whatever was just beyond the walls.
Pressing his hands into the soft flexible material John leaned forward. He could just make out sounds on the other side, the walls writhed beneath his hands then suddenly a shape appeared in the walls, hands reaching out of him, trying to grasp his wrists. John started.
Cringing he pulled away, dropping his hands to his side and looked down the corridor again. He began walking.
From somewhere up ahead John could just make out the faint glimmer of light, a flicker in the darkness. He sped up and at the end of the corridor he could see a square shape, an opening…a doorway.
As the doorway swung open John could see the darker black shapes of grave markers against the dim twilight of the night sky. As he stepped out of the door he paused looking up at the stars shining brightly. There was a commotion to his right and he turned.
Suddenly his heart skipped a beat as he saw Dean standing in the middle of several ancient graves. Near the doorway he had just stepped out of were two figures one male and one female. It took him a few minutes to recognize Bobby-this Bobby and he felt the dull pain of unfulfilled love deep inside.
Bobby was staring at John mouth a gape. But his face was stoic unwilling or unable to forgive John for his abandonment. John found that he couldn’t blame the other man. Ellen Harvelle was standing behind Bobby pressed against his back, but John didn’t feel; any pressing urge to move her away. These people had their own lives here and now and he was no longer a part of it.
A harsh sound from the middle of the cemetery drew Johns’ attention and he jerked forward the demon was standing on the grass holding the Colt on Dean. John felt his blood run cold, with a grimace he ran forward reaching out.
Whatever he had been expecting his hands passing through the demons body wasn’t it. Then John realized that he might be strong enough to draw his spiritual energy into a solid form he was no where strong enough to become solid. But he felt a tug beneath his hands and realized the demon was essential as non-corporeal as a ghost. That the body he inhabited was not his own.
The demon must have sensed John’s intentions as well because he jerked away from Dean turning slight as John tugged at him. He threw John off and he fell away from the demon’s body into the dew covered grass. Shaking his head John stood.
Making a final lunge John reached out letting his hands pass through the body the demon possessed and grasping the incorporeal form inside. The gun flew out of the demon’s hand as he struggled with the spirit trying to dislodge him from his home. John jerked back arms wrapped around the demon’s chest and they both stumbled away.
When both figure rose up out of the grass John staggered a few steps away from the demon and they both turned. The black oily cloud that was the demon’s true form slipped over the grass and into the body lying still on the ground. He rose turning to John with a smirk.
Dean took one step forward them raised the Colt. Before the demon could move the young man fired the gun. The bullet sped straight and true hitting the demon’s body in the chest. With a gasp and an utterly shocked look on his face he staggered back body twitching as a red light consumed him from within. He crashed to the ground.
Staring at Dean, John took two hesitant steps forward. He wished that he could speak, wished that he could give his son the love and reassurance that he needed, but this was all he had this mute adoration. Casting a quick glance at Sammy John offered his youngest child the warm loving smile he hadn’t been able to give in life. He tried to convey the love he felt silently. Somewhere deep inside John felt that Sam understood and his son smiled at him tears welling in his eyes.
Stepping back away from Dean John sighed, it wasn’t enough but he had seen what he needed to see. His sons were alive, if not well, and together. Still holding each other up, still fighting the good fight. He thought that Dean looked sorrowful, still grieving and John hoped that he wasn’t the cause of that, although he knew that he was, if only just a little. But Dean and Sammy were still alive and together and that had to be enough for him. He couldn’t change it now.
There was a nagging sensation at the back of John’s mind, a dull buzz and he realized that the portal was closing. He had to make a choice. There was a warm welcoming light glowing in the night sky. It was small but still it beckoned him closer, to warmth and love and peace.
As John looked up he could see the faint glimmer of candle light, and the outlines of a small cozy bedroom. He knew that somewhere in that other place he was laying on a bed, his body dying slowly. But the white light peaking over the horizon was calling him as well.
With a sigh John stepped back moving toward the warm glow. There was the familiar sensation of weightlessness as John was swept up into the soft light. With a gasp he threw himself headlong into the maelstrom. The light enveloped him and swept him along.
With a long shuddering breath John opened his eyes.
The End