Yay. Another meme.
For any food/beverage related questions, assume that I could actually eat what I want.
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Michael Moore. With any luck, he'll be standing next to Barbra Streisand or one of the Baldwin brothers and take them out too.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
I'd flip a coin between Barry Manilow and Boston.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Pat Robertson. Wait. There's no limit on this one. Okay, Jerry Falwell and Billy Graham too. And Noam Chomsky. And Ralph Nader. And about 430 members of the House of Representatives. And 98 Senators. And everyone in the Bush Administration. And...
4. What is the best kind of cheese?
Colby Jack. While there are better types of cheese for many different applications, it is my favorite overall. I can eat a block of it easily.
5.You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What does your dream-sandwich consist of?
I could make you one hell of a hamburger, but I'm going to stick with lunch meats here. Honey roasted turkey, prosciutto ham, muenster and provolone cheeses, iceberg lettuce, fresh tomato, Italian bread and mayonnaise (preferably Hellmann's). It's simple, but trust me.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back).
I've never seen it, but that girl from Bend It Like Beckham. Wait, I'll search. Okay, there we go. Parminder Nagra. There are others I'd rather sleep with to be honest, but not if they'll never call me back. I'm weird like that.
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?
Jessica Simpson, as long as she doesn't talk. Or sing.
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Assuming I have to spend it, I'd probably go buy some music. And get lunch.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where do you go?
I've always wanted to go to Australia, so, Australia. :-P
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?
Wait, a hundred American or a hundred Australian? Anyway, I'd start by going to see an Aussie Rules match.
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says.
Long Island Iced Tea. It's been so long since I've had one, I don't know brand names. It might be a bit wimpy, but ask me if I care.
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
If it wasn't for #26, I would answer this differently. Everyone always thinks of killing Hitler or Stalin or some ruthless dictator like that. I'm of the opinion that there would likely have been someone to compare to one of those two if they hadn't existed. I'd rather go back to the First Century CE and kill Paul. Yes, that one. Note, however, I did not say Jesus of Nazareth. I have no problems with him.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
You must have a triple-digit IQ to live on my island. Because most likely, my island will be close to an anarchy, and anarchies don't work with stupid people.
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
I had a section on my old website called "Natural Selection Theater". It consisted of video clips of people doing stupid things and paying the price. Sounds like a great show to me. But that could be just because I'm a bit morbid.
15. What is your favorite expletive?
Come on, isn't "motherfucker" just fun to say and, especially when it comes out the mouth of Samuel L. Jackson, hear?
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
If they were zombies, we'd remake the "Thriller" video, but they're not. The best thing I can think of is sell them to a museum... or on EBay.
17. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?
I'd have to take my computer. So much of my writing is on there, I'd hate to lose it, though not necessarily the computer itself.
18.The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Whatever it is, it would probably involve me hiding in a shower or a locker room somewhere. (Come on, I'm about to die. I might as well have some naughty fun, right? :-)
19.You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
Invisibility has a lot of potential. Teleportation, on the other hand, means I never have to deal with the TSA ever again. Well, if I will eventually be able to float (and assumedly get over my fear of heights), I can still travel outside of airports, so I'll take invisibility.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to relive again?
There have been a few points in my life that I have felt perfectly and truly loved, whether it was romantically or platonically. It would be one of those, but I don't know which.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (The answer "nothing" doesn't count.)
So most of my life doesn't count, either? Okay, I have one, but I'm not sharing specifics. All I will say is that is happened on January 30, 2001.
22.You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out... you can move to anywhere else in the world! What country are you going to live in now?
Probably Australia or New Zealand.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under twenty one. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every
single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
I'm not much for bars, but I've got to say The Cubby Bear in Chicago is one I'd want to still be welcomed in.
24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question. If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out...Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first?
Jonathan's, because he'd probably be the person who'd be happiest to see me that I'd also be happy to see. Then I'd punch him in the face for giving me this damn meme. :-P
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability
to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?
It would be between Buddy Holly, Otis Redding, and Jim Croce, because I'd love to know what kind of music any of them would have written had they lived.
26.The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
No question, my friend Michael (the guy I mentioned in my bio) from high school.
27. What's your theme song?
Speaking of high school, a friend of mine gave me the theme song "Kick In The Ass" by Moxy Fruvous. I can't complain about that one. :-)
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Michael Moore. With any luck, he'll be standing next to Barbra Streisand or one of the Baldwin brothers and take them out too.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
I'd flip a coin between Barry Manilow and Boston.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Pat Robertson. Wait. There's no limit on this one. Okay, Jerry Falwell and Billy Graham too. And Noam Chomsky. And Ralph Nader. And about 430 members of the House of Representatives. And 98 Senators. And everyone in the Bush Administration. And...
4. What is the best kind of cheese?
Colby Jack. While there are better types of cheese for many different applications, it is my favorite overall. I can eat a block of it easily.
5.You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What does your dream-sandwich consist of?
I could make you one hell of a hamburger, but I'm going to stick with lunch meats here. Honey roasted turkey, prosciutto ham, muenster and provolone cheeses, iceberg lettuce, fresh tomato, Italian bread and mayonnaise (preferably Hellmann's). It's simple, but trust me.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back).
I've never seen it, but that girl from Bend It Like Beckham. Wait, I'll search. Okay, there we go. Parminder Nagra. There are others I'd rather sleep with to be honest, but not if they'll never call me back. I'm weird like that.
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?
Jessica Simpson, as long as she doesn't talk. Or sing.
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Assuming I have to spend it, I'd probably go buy some music. And get lunch.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where do you go?
I've always wanted to go to Australia, so, Australia. :-P
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?
Wait, a hundred American or a hundred Australian? Anyway, I'd start by going to see an Aussie Rules match.
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says.
Long Island Iced Tea. It's been so long since I've had one, I don't know brand names. It might be a bit wimpy, but ask me if I care.
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
If it wasn't for #26, I would answer this differently. Everyone always thinks of killing Hitler or Stalin or some ruthless dictator like that. I'm of the opinion that there would likely have been someone to compare to one of those two if they hadn't existed. I'd rather go back to the First Century CE and kill Paul. Yes, that one. Note, however, I did not say Jesus of Nazareth. I have no problems with him.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
You must have a triple-digit IQ to live on my island. Because most likely, my island will be close to an anarchy, and anarchies don't work with stupid people.
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
I had a section on my old website called "Natural Selection Theater". It consisted of video clips of people doing stupid things and paying the price. Sounds like a great show to me. But that could be just because I'm a bit morbid.
15. What is your favorite expletive?
Come on, isn't "motherfucker" just fun to say and, especially when it comes out the mouth of Samuel L. Jackson, hear?
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
If they were zombies, we'd remake the "Thriller" video, but they're not. The best thing I can think of is sell them to a museum... or on EBay.
17. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?
I'd have to take my computer. So much of my writing is on there, I'd hate to lose it, though not necessarily the computer itself.
18.The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Whatever it is, it would probably involve me hiding in a shower or a locker room somewhere. (Come on, I'm about to die. I might as well have some naughty fun, right? :-)
19.You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
Invisibility has a lot of potential. Teleportation, on the other hand, means I never have to deal with the TSA ever again. Well, if I will eventually be able to float (and assumedly get over my fear of heights), I can still travel outside of airports, so I'll take invisibility.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to relive again?
There have been a few points in my life that I have felt perfectly and truly loved, whether it was romantically or platonically. It would be one of those, but I don't know which.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (The answer "nothing" doesn't count.)
So most of my life doesn't count, either? Okay, I have one, but I'm not sharing specifics. All I will say is that is happened on January 30, 2001.
22.You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out... you can move to anywhere else in the world! What country are you going to live in now?
Probably Australia or New Zealand.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under twenty one. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every
single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
I'm not much for bars, but I've got to say The Cubby Bear in Chicago is one I'd want to still be welcomed in.
24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question. If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out...Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first?
Jonathan's, because he'd probably be the person who'd be happiest to see me that I'd also be happy to see. Then I'd punch him in the face for giving me this damn meme. :-P
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability
to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?
It would be between Buddy Holly, Otis Redding, and Jim Croce, because I'd love to know what kind of music any of them would have written had they lived.
26.The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
No question, my friend Michael (the guy I mentioned in my bio) from high school.
27. What's your theme song?
Speaking of high school, a friend of mine gave me the theme song "Kick In The Ass" by Moxy Fruvous. I can't complain about that one. :-)