A Thin Line Between Love and Hate, or the rantings of a misanthrope
It's funny trying to settle back in to life in CH. I find myself so apathetic and intolerant of all the current and old disappointments. It's a culmination of a lot of things snapping in my brain and life right now. Added to that, I find myself hanging onto all those metro habits - I speed racer everywhere (have not settled back into driving slow) and I don't make eye contact or conversation and sort of scowl at strangers. When people say thank you or are pleasant and polite I am surprised. Funny that just a few months ago I went back up to NJ all pleasant and kind only to abruptly remember I don't have to be nice to other people in public.
Walmart was flooded with undergrads today to my great annoyance. As usual, the self check-out line looked slow but actually took at least twice as long due to the fact that human beings really are a lot dumber than you'd think or give them credit for. The guy ahead of me in line was not as hapless as the woman in front of him, but I was a bit incredulousness of the fact that he was buying ten full size boxes of Calgon (as in Calgone, take me away!) and two individual sticks of chapstick (impulse checkout counter buy?). He was white and middle aged professory looking. So random.
Finally, the state of my personal life is such that I've found there really is a thin line between love and hate. I want to love D, I hate D, I want to move on from D but the thought of letting anyone else in at this point just seems too exhausting and also a bit loathesome. How can I express, or better yet, let out all of the anger boiling within me? Oh, Fuckembabe*.
Also, I've decided to be a misanthrope this year.
*Fuckembabe is the greatest character in JR Moehringer's The Tender Bar and my new catchphrase. And yes, I did just put a footnote in my journal entry. Recognize.
Walmart was flooded with undergrads today to my great annoyance. As usual, the self check-out line looked slow but actually took at least twice as long due to the fact that human beings really are a lot dumber than you'd think or give them credit for. The guy ahead of me in line was not as hapless as the woman in front of him, but I was a bit incredulousness of the fact that he was buying ten full size boxes of Calgon (as in Calgone, take me away!) and two individual sticks of chapstick (impulse checkout counter buy?). He was white and middle aged professory looking. So random.
Finally, the state of my personal life is such that I've found there really is a thin line between love and hate. I want to love D, I hate D, I want to move on from D but the thought of letting anyone else in at this point just seems too exhausting and also a bit loathesome. How can I express, or better yet, let out all of the anger boiling within me? Oh, Fuckembabe*.
Also, I've decided to be a misanthrope this year.
*Fuckembabe is the greatest character in JR Moehringer's The Tender Bar and my new catchphrase. And yes, I did just put a footnote in my journal entry. Recognize.