i duno
yesterday i went to cape cod with dad and Annette to visit some of her family.
vacationers in new england fall into two categories: ones that go to the woods, and ones that go to the beach (cape cod, marthas vineyard, ect.)
my dad's family falls into the former category- we have a modest cabin in the woods, which i love to visit.
annette's family are the later, preferring the beaches to the woods. they are cape cod people, her brother, sister, and nephew all have houses down the cape.
i went there for the first time yesterday, and it was really nice. it was cool, because there aren't very many big hotels or rental places like other beaches. i remember driving in myrtle beach and seeing those huge, pastel hotels lining the road. on the cape, there are strict zoning and building codes, which limit the size of properties. its nice and quiet and very inviting.
we were supposed to go down this morning, and stay until Sunday, but our plans changed when one of Annette's close friends died early on tuesday morning. he lived in prince Edwards island in Canada with his wife, so Annette flew up there today to be with them.
his name was cliff, and he was married to a woman named fran. fran and annette's mother, joanne, ran a hair salon together in Salem called Frannie and Joe's. fran and cliff were very close with annette, almost like second parents. annette babysat their children when she was older. cliff had family in Salem, but fran wanted to go back to PEI where her family was. annette has visited them at least once a year for very many years now.
at 4:30 am (5:30 PEI time) one of cliff's daughter's called annette to tell her what happened. he had gotten up in the middle of the night, and had a massive heart attack while he was walking down the stairs. he fell down the rest of the way, and she woke up a few hours later and found him dead at the bottom of the stairs. he was only 68.
its really hard to deal with situations like these. fortunately, i have not had to deal with death often (only one person i know, my aunt pat, has ever died while i was alive, but it is somewhat of a handicap when it comes to trying to relate to and console people. i just hugged annatte, and later on that day, we made a scrapbook of pictures of them all together, to show at the wake, and then for fran to have once this ordeal was over.
making the book was weird, because i had never met any of these people, but i started crying. it was sad looking at all of these pictures, him with fran, with their children as babies, with their grandchildren as babies, him mowing the lawn, making lobsters, singing karaoke (annette said he had a horrible voice but loved to sing anyway). i felt like i got to know cliff through the pictures.
annette said the funeral home was packed with people coming to pay their respects, which is just a testament to how many people's lives he touched.
i feel for fran, who i cannot even begin to relate to. she is 58, and has been married to him since she was 16 years old. he has provided so much for her, she doesnt know what she will do. she has never really been on her own before, and even doing simple things like fixing the plumbing or doing the yard work he had done for her. luckily, she has the support of her friends and family to get her through this. i think her daughter and her husband are going to move in with fran, since the house and property are huge.
unfortunately, this ordeal has made me even more paranoid about death. now i know everyone thinks about death, but i, for some reason, feel like i think about it a lot more than i think is healthy or normal. lately, if thinks become silent for more than a few minutes, my mind drifts to thoughts of what would happen if someone i know died, like a friend, or my grandmother.
i constantly think about what i would do if my father died. i know he will someday, everyone does, but i start to freak out and cry everytime i even think about it. i dont like being away from him for more than a few minutes. everytime he goes out to run errands, im afraid the police or someone will call and say he died.
cliff was only 68 years old. he had been to the doctor two days before he died, and was given a completely clean bill of health, and he had a massive heart attack and fell down a flight of stairs.
also, i found out that the math teacher i was going to have for calc next semester died on june 25th. he was hit by a train at 9pm that night. i never had him for any class yet. but after my accident, i would always crutch by his office in the math/physics building and he would ask how i was and tell me to heal fast and get better. he was so nice and cheerful, and now hes gone.
im always paranoid, but im afraid this week has sent me over the edge to a point where my thinking about death becomes unreasonable..
in other news, i am slowly getting over my fear of the dark and can now sleep without the lights on.
i wish that was a joke.
that was a really long entry, and, if you are still reading this, i apologize if i have made you upset or paranoid about death. it was not my intention to do so.
vacationers in new england fall into two categories: ones that go to the woods, and ones that go to the beach (cape cod, marthas vineyard, ect.)
my dad's family falls into the former category- we have a modest cabin in the woods, which i love to visit.
annette's family are the later, preferring the beaches to the woods. they are cape cod people, her brother, sister, and nephew all have houses down the cape.
i went there for the first time yesterday, and it was really nice. it was cool, because there aren't very many big hotels or rental places like other beaches. i remember driving in myrtle beach and seeing those huge, pastel hotels lining the road. on the cape, there are strict zoning and building codes, which limit the size of properties. its nice and quiet and very inviting.
we were supposed to go down this morning, and stay until Sunday, but our plans changed when one of Annette's close friends died early on tuesday morning. he lived in prince Edwards island in Canada with his wife, so Annette flew up there today to be with them.
his name was cliff, and he was married to a woman named fran. fran and annette's mother, joanne, ran a hair salon together in Salem called Frannie and Joe's. fran and cliff were very close with annette, almost like second parents. annette babysat their children when she was older. cliff had family in Salem, but fran wanted to go back to PEI where her family was. annette has visited them at least once a year for very many years now.
at 4:30 am (5:30 PEI time) one of cliff's daughter's called annette to tell her what happened. he had gotten up in the middle of the night, and had a massive heart attack while he was walking down the stairs. he fell down the rest of the way, and she woke up a few hours later and found him dead at the bottom of the stairs. he was only 68.
its really hard to deal with situations like these. fortunately, i have not had to deal with death often (only one person i know, my aunt pat, has ever died while i was alive, but it is somewhat of a handicap when it comes to trying to relate to and console people. i just hugged annatte, and later on that day, we made a scrapbook of pictures of them all together, to show at the wake, and then for fran to have once this ordeal was over.
making the book was weird, because i had never met any of these people, but i started crying. it was sad looking at all of these pictures, him with fran, with their children as babies, with their grandchildren as babies, him mowing the lawn, making lobsters, singing karaoke (annette said he had a horrible voice but loved to sing anyway). i felt like i got to know cliff through the pictures.
annette said the funeral home was packed with people coming to pay their respects, which is just a testament to how many people's lives he touched.
i feel for fran, who i cannot even begin to relate to. she is 58, and has been married to him since she was 16 years old. he has provided so much for her, she doesnt know what she will do. she has never really been on her own before, and even doing simple things like fixing the plumbing or doing the yard work he had done for her. luckily, she has the support of her friends and family to get her through this. i think her daughter and her husband are going to move in with fran, since the house and property are huge.
unfortunately, this ordeal has made me even more paranoid about death. now i know everyone thinks about death, but i, for some reason, feel like i think about it a lot more than i think is healthy or normal. lately, if thinks become silent for more than a few minutes, my mind drifts to thoughts of what would happen if someone i know died, like a friend, or my grandmother.
i constantly think about what i would do if my father died. i know he will someday, everyone does, but i start to freak out and cry everytime i even think about it. i dont like being away from him for more than a few minutes. everytime he goes out to run errands, im afraid the police or someone will call and say he died.
cliff was only 68 years old. he had been to the doctor two days before he died, and was given a completely clean bill of health, and he had a massive heart attack and fell down a flight of stairs.
also, i found out that the math teacher i was going to have for calc next semester died on june 25th. he was hit by a train at 9pm that night. i never had him for any class yet. but after my accident, i would always crutch by his office in the math/physics building and he would ask how i was and tell me to heal fast and get better. he was so nice and cheerful, and now hes gone.
im always paranoid, but im afraid this week has sent me over the edge to a point where my thinking about death becomes unreasonable..
in other news, i am slowly getting over my fear of the dark and can now sleep without the lights on.
i wish that was a joke.
that was a really long entry, and, if you are still reading this, i apologize if i have made you upset or paranoid about death. it was not my intention to do so.