.................
Ok. This is starting to suck. I realize people grow apart, but seriously? I just don't care anymore. I was considering just stopping the posting on LJ but ya know, it's my venting spot. Hardly anyone checks it out so I can say almost anything I want here. So on to my actual concerns. (i'm sure I'll feel better after all this is over and done with Feel better but not forget unfortunantly)
So, I've been a little down lately. I feel like I've lost one of my best friends. I mean we're still friends....kinda. It's shakey ground I think. It was over something silly. I've done everything I could, including talking about it, but to no avail. The talking consisted of me talking and them listening. They didn't even grace me with a word during this conversation. We've talked since then, but not about that. And rarely at that. I guess I let too many things slide. I almost feel like the bad guy and like I should apologize. For what? Look, this whole thing was about me coming for a visit. I mena, That's when I realized that we've lost that almost sisterly connection taht we've had for years now. It's really sad ya know. And days like this when I'm bored and in front of my very quiet computer it depresses me even more. Sure I haven't had as much time to talk as I used to. Juggling a job, kids, and a boyfriend will do that. Plus my other friends here. But I TRIED to make time to talk, even if it was just for a few minutes. I wasn't the one ultra ready to get off the phone. Sad thing is, this person always complained about another of their friends doing something similar to them, and yet, is doing this to me. It's like I've been pushed to the back burner. Oh it's only Lina, whatever. Apparently I was only a good friend when this person didn't have many friends where they lived. Now they have a whole group and it's bye bye Lina. People keep saying "Oh whatever. If they're gonna be like that forget it" But you know, thats easier said than done. I mean, that's a lot of years and alot of crap we've each been through. And today? I can't even get a reply from a text message. It makes me so sad that I feel like crying. I mean, anytime if I state how I feel about this via text, facebook, anything, it gets ignored. This will probably get ignored too I don't doubt. Ok that's it. I'm done venting I think.
To close, I just want to say, (incase said person actually reads this) I hope these friends you're holding so close really do understand everything you've been through. Or seriously how kindhearted and caring you can be. Or if they even understand how down you can get though you hide it and why. Just next time you're going through a bad patch just think to yourself.... who was with you for your other ones (when youa ctually shared them) who was there telling you you'd pass that exam no problem all the way through college and grad school and who still wants to beat the ever loving tar out of your ex if they ever see them. These people don't know you nearly as well. And I honestly can't say I'll be there next time.
So, I've been a little down lately. I feel like I've lost one of my best friends. I mean we're still friends....kinda. It's shakey ground I think. It was over something silly. I've done everything I could, including talking about it, but to no avail. The talking consisted of me talking and them listening. They didn't even grace me with a word during this conversation. We've talked since then, but not about that. And rarely at that. I guess I let too many things slide. I almost feel like the bad guy and like I should apologize. For what? Look, this whole thing was about me coming for a visit. I mena, That's when I realized that we've lost that almost sisterly connection taht we've had for years now. It's really sad ya know. And days like this when I'm bored and in front of my very quiet computer it depresses me even more. Sure I haven't had as much time to talk as I used to. Juggling a job, kids, and a boyfriend will do that. Plus my other friends here. But I TRIED to make time to talk, even if it was just for a few minutes. I wasn't the one ultra ready to get off the phone. Sad thing is, this person always complained about another of their friends doing something similar to them, and yet, is doing this to me. It's like I've been pushed to the back burner. Oh it's only Lina, whatever. Apparently I was only a good friend when this person didn't have many friends where they lived. Now they have a whole group and it's bye bye Lina. People keep saying "Oh whatever. If they're gonna be like that forget it" But you know, thats easier said than done. I mean, that's a lot of years and alot of crap we've each been through. And today? I can't even get a reply from a text message. It makes me so sad that I feel like crying. I mean, anytime if I state how I feel about this via text, facebook, anything, it gets ignored. This will probably get ignored too I don't doubt. Ok that's it. I'm done venting I think.
To close, I just want to say, (incase said person actually reads this) I hope these friends you're holding so close really do understand everything you've been through. Or seriously how kindhearted and caring you can be. Or if they even understand how down you can get though you hide it and why. Just next time you're going through a bad patch just think to yourself.... who was with you for your other ones (when youa ctually shared them) who was there telling you you'd pass that exam no problem all the way through college and grad school and who still wants to beat the ever loving tar out of your ex if they ever see them. These people don't know you nearly as well. And I honestly can't say I'll be there next time.