Doubt
I often wonder why I have doubt in myself, is it because of my lack in trust in people. Or my lack of trust in myself. I always have doubt in myself or anything I do. In my workplace, I have doubt that I am not working hard enough, so I work harder so that I can make sure everyone is happy with my preforamance. At school I work hard and I join FBLA and I am in NHS, so I make sure I do well with my life. But there is always that doubt that I am not doing anything good at all. That I'm not working hard enough to do what is right or do what is suppose to be good. Or with william I try so hard to make sure he is happy and I try to say the right things but there is always doubt in there.
Doubt that makes me feel like he doesn't love me, but I know he does. I know he loves me and I know he cares for me, and I know he'll always be there for me and there to support me in anything I want to do. But there is always that doubt that he doesn't love me. I want him to tell me romantic things and I want him to tell me why he loves me. But he doesn't know why, he just does. I always have doubt in myself and my performance and how I do things and why people love me the way they do. Why do they, what is so speical about me? Do I deserve it? Did I earn it? Why must this doubt always come back to me, why must it keep haunting me? Why must I worry about everything, why can't I be sure about something and not have this doubt hanging over my sholders.
If I keep this up, I will just push him away, he won't love me anymore. He wants to see me happy and be the happy person he wants me to be. But all this doubt just comes out, I hate all this doubt. I trust him, I trust everything to him, but I get upset over the smallest stuff and I always doubt his love. Why can't I just be sure about myself for once?
Doubt that makes me feel like he doesn't love me, but I know he does. I know he loves me and I know he cares for me, and I know he'll always be there for me and there to support me in anything I want to do. But there is always that doubt that he doesn't love me. I want him to tell me romantic things and I want him to tell me why he loves me. But he doesn't know why, he just does. I always have doubt in myself and my performance and how I do things and why people love me the way they do. Why do they, what is so speical about me? Do I deserve it? Did I earn it? Why must this doubt always come back to me, why must it keep haunting me? Why must I worry about everything, why can't I be sure about something and not have this doubt hanging over my sholders.
If I keep this up, I will just push him away, he won't love me anymore. He wants to see me happy and be the happy person he wants me to be. But all this doubt just comes out, I hate all this doubt. I trust him, I trust everything to him, but I get upset over the smallest stuff and I always doubt his love. Why can't I just be sure about myself for once?