(no subject)
ugh im pissed....
Im just soo annoyed with people lately its like the people i need space from arent giving me that at all...and the other people i need to be there for me are like putting space between us. I love my friends its just sometimes i need some time to be alone and to think about stuff sometimes i need to get mad its not like i hate them or they did something wrong i just need to be mad for a little bit. and idk people cant respect that.
And my family they arefucking pissing me off i cant take it anymore... like were going on vacation in august. and see my familys the kind of people were theres no three people theres only 2 people together no more. and someones always being left out example me. i mean were going with my like whol extended family and Emily and Elizabeth there ones in 2nd the other in 3rd they will be haning out the whole time. and same with my sister Lauren and cousin Casey who are both in 5th grade. and my sister Jamie and Jenna are complete assholes to me they treat me like shit. and they are always making fun of me and being bitches. and the adults will all be like Lina cant you go away and leave us alone. so i was pissed and i was like dont want to go can i plese bring someone and there like no. so i was like please and there like no so i was like fine i dont want to go. and my aunt goes good it will be alot better without ur bitching there. and ugh they fucking all piss me off.
And towmorrows fathers day.... yea enough said. i only have one grandfather left to buy a presnet for b/c my other one died in my house last year. and my dad died which i still think it was my fault....nvm i wont get in to that...
Im fucking stupid tho. i mean come on actually wanting to like a junior... and being intrested in a junior. why do i do this to my self. im a fucking freshman... not to mention the ugliest one. and he doesnt even know my name i barley know him. i just need to get away from imiture freshman and hes like everywhere i go... and i think hes cute and the facteveryones like hes such a loser(like my sister and kaila and Jacki) make me like him even more. but i wouldent call it like at all.... idk what you would call it. i just need someone especailly seeing like so many happy couples and like everyone ik has like someone and im sick of being alone through all this its like hey were going on a double date you can come oh wait never mind. ugh
and my friends are soo fucking stupid sometims like oh i hate this girl and what she does to me. so im like oh its ok and i totally stand up for my friend and hes like oh im never gonna forgive her the next day HES apologizing yes him. and my other friend she has a friend whos been putting her thorough so much. so i totally stick up for her and the next day shes at her house. and my last friend shes like oh wow shes such a bitch blah blah and i totally ruin any friendship i have ever had with the other girl to stick up for her and a few days later they are bffs again. people these people mean nothing to you they put you through way to much shit drop em and forget about them you dont need them..
ugh...i hate myself and idk..im just getting my feelings out you dont have to listen to this..... and im sorry for all the complaning this is more of just a diary entry for myself..
I'll never leave, I'll never stray
My love for you will never change
But I ain't ready to make up or get around to that
I think I'm right I think your wrong
I'll probably give in before long
Please don't make me smile
I just want to be mad for awhile