Baby Storm

May 26, 2011 13:19

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quiregrrl May 27 2011, 02:06:09 UTC
Firstly, how lovely to see you posting on here again :)

Secondly, this is a really interesting story... I had a few different reactions when reading the stories. The first, and strongest response is that these parents are amazing and kudos to them for raising thier kids without any of that gender stereotyping that is SO abundantly prevalent. I have friends whose baby is nearly one year old, and they made the decision to raise her with as little gender stereotyping as possible, but even clothing her has been a battle - finding baby clothes that aren't conspicuously gendered is a challenge all it's own, not to mention a grandma who resolutely keeps buying the pink/frilly clothes (stay-at-home Dad spends at least one day a month dying pink clothes red, or purple, or black), so I have the utmost respect for Jazz, Kio and Storm's parents for taking it a step further with Storm by not even annoucing zir gender. I think it takes amazing courage and strength to raise kids this way, knowing that it will almost certainly make the children, and the parents, the target of criticism and bullying - which unfortunately seems to be the knee-jerk response of certain types of dissenting people when they don't understand something.

One of the criticisms raised in the article which I found interesting was that they are imposing their politics and ideology on their children, and the argument that NOT choosing/allocating a gender for Storm is still in fact making a choice for the child rather than allowing the baby to choose when zie's older. The fact is that EVERY parent imposes their politics and ideologies on their children, because every parent hopes that their children will grow up to be a certain kind of person, with the values that their parents consider important (whatever they are), and it's possible that these kids will grow up resenting their "hippy" upbringing and wishing their parents had been more conventional as much as it's possible that kids raised in more socially conventional ways will resent that. And everyone, no matter who they are or how they are raised, at some point will face bullying and criticism for who they are, and sadly this will almost certainly happen from childhood onwards. But on the balance of things, I think the mother says it all when she points out “When faced with inevitable judgment by others, which child stands tall (and sticks up for others) - the one facing teasing despite desperately trying to fit in, or the one with a strong sense of self and at least two 'go-to' adults who love them unconditionally? Well, I guess you know which one we choose.”

I also think it's clear that the older brother has chosen "male" as his gender (for now at least) as well, and agree completely with you that the choices he is making are about gender stereotypes, and not gender itself, and I think it's wonderful that his parents are giving him the freedom to express his gender however he chooses, and supporting the choices he makes whether that be buying him a pink skirt, or writing a letter to inform people that he's a boy.

I think the best thing any parent can do in raising their child(ren) is make sure the kids know they are loved and valued for exactly who they are... that doesn't seem to be a question at all for these kids.

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