New Fic: Hairline Fractures
Title: Hairline Fractures
Disclaimer: Bones belongs to Fox et al.
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: The Pain in the Heart
AN: This should have been another part of my episode tag-ons, but as I wrote it changed and it made sense to divide it into chapters and make it into a separate story.
This takes place before Zack begun his “consultancy business” from the loony bin helping out on cases.
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He does not offer and she does not accept but when it is time to go he turns up in her office and they leave in his car as if they were going to a crime scene.
"I'm going to get a coffee," he says gesturing in the direction of the Starbucks across the street when they reach the main entrance of the big building.
An hour later she sinks down opposite him at the small table. She folds her hands around her mug the warm china against her palms surprisingly soothing. The oatmeal cookie tastes like sand in her mouth. She does not offer up any information and he does not ask but she can feel his gaze on her on the way back. Her lips form a silent thank you against his cheek when he drops her off.
The next week they repeat it. She going into the big building, he sitting across the street having too much coffee and them not talking about it.
On the third Wednesday she says "He asked about you," as she crumbles a chocolate muffin between her fingers.
He hesitates, coffee mug hovering between the table and his lips. Does he nod and leave things as they are or does he ask about it and open the can of worms, let loose the pain and sorrow that Zack has become? This avoidance is not them.
"What did he ask?"
"He asked how you were."
"What did you say?"
"That you're okay. You're the only one who hasn't been to see him. Angela, Jack, Cam and Dr Goodman have all been."
"It's not like he's recovering from surgery or something. He's in the loony b... a closed, psychiatric facility."
She pushes her plate aside and draws breath. Quickly, before she can launch into a lecture, he continues.
"I'm not a squint. I wasn't part of his team."
It does stop her, but he regrets it all the same. This is something he would have said in the first months they worked together. He wants to reach across the table and stroke the hurt from her face. Instead he swallows the last dregs of his cold coffee.
"It's all a mess," she sighs at the chocolate crumbles on the table.
He does not pretend he thinks she means the former muffin. They do not avoid pain. Right now he wishes they did.
"Nobody made Zack do it. He let himself be persuaded."
"Maybe if I'd paid more attention to Zack, spent more time with him, he wouldn't have let himself be persuaded."
He wants to reply "It's not your fault" but he knows she will not settle for that so he uses harsher words to make her understand.
"Maybe if we'd worked longer hours and hadn't stopped for our own lives, we would have caught more murderers before they killed again and we'd saved more lives."
"Maybe if you hadn't made me help out on so many cases I would have had more time for Zack."
No, they do not avoid pain.
She picks up her bag and makes her way between the tables leaving him to catch up with her as so many times before.
Had she had any faith in psychology she would have said it is his words about not being part of Zack's team that make her snarl "What?" as she feels his gaze on her in the car. No longer letting it pass as she has the previous weeks.
"You have the same look when you've been to see Zack as you had when you'd seen your father in prison."
"What look?"
"You look like a little girl."
"I'm not a girl and I don't need your pity!"
"It's not pity. I'm just trying to make you see that it's nothing you could have done to stop Zack from doing what he did."
"Do you feel bad about the people you've shot?"
He knows it is a trap, that he should not reply. "You know I do."
"Even though you did it because you had to?"
"Yes."
"There you go. Not your fault and yet you feel guilty."
This time he does not reply and she does not say anything else until they are almost at her place.
"I got my brother and my father back. You came back at your own funeral. Maybe it's true, maybe I don't get to be in a family and keep all my friends. Maybe there's some kind of..."
He stops the car in the middle of the street.
"Would you stop! That doesn't make any sense at all."
"It should to you. You're the one who believes in original sin. My father has murdered, now I'm being punished for what he did."
"And you don't believe so don't use my faith when your science won't help you."
She slams the car door. Hard.
He turns the ignition and sighs at everything she wants him to be that he can not.
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End chapter 1