in the sunshine with my mans
to say i'm gutted by the election would be an understatement of epic proportions; the dirty, ugly underbelly continues to slither along unabated for another four years and at this point, i wonder if it's even possible for us to mend our fractured society or if we're just permanently fucked.
when i woke up on the sixth, i read the results and promptly closed browsers, apps, and set my smart tv to "save my sanity." i wandered a bit, then went out and sat with the chickens to have myself a little cry. fyi, chicken therapy is some of the best therapy ever. the beloved daughter came out and we shared the sads, then went on with the day.
she has no idea how i worry about her and all women - but especially young ones - at these dark ages. she has no idea how i have contingency plans in my head for if she ever needs to get an abortion....or the morning after pill....or birth control and none of these options are easily available. right now? drive to minnesota. if state's rights are taken and our strongholds of reproductive rights are completely eliminated? fucking canadia here we come.
i actually started a side fund for emergency "stupid government" fubars.
mister has been a ROCK right now. hugs and pats and reassurances. he fully supports my desire to circle the wagons and curate my exposure to media sources so that i'm not in a constant knot of stress and anxiety. at this moment, we are sitting at a starbucks in duluth with white gold sunshine streaming through the window, warming me. i feel so protected and loved it makes the itty ember of hope in my heart flare a bit.
*
~~positive focus~~
+ my wellies got a hole in the toe and with all the rain and junk, i was walking around with wet toes which was NOT a nice feeling. i ordered another pair of those, even though they're not really the best for winter since they're not insulated. i can use warmer/thicker socks (which i will), but they really don't fit what i need for farm chores and winter riding.
one of the things i've been planning on splurging on when i hit my goal weight is a pair of galway country boots. they are super spendy ($500!) because they're fancy schmancy and imported from ireland. i may change my mind by the time i am ready to order them, but since i needed SOMETHING new for winter/riding, i decided on a pair of dublin river boots since i no longer have to have fat-calf size. =D
they came mid-week and i love them...they fit nicely and will be a little better around the calf when they break in. i don't like feeling constricted anywhere, but they're so cute IDGAF. *nod*
+ progress toward skinny-bitch goals continue at a steady pace. i was so proud of the well of will power and self-care i tapped into on tuesday/wed/thursday. mostly good choices were made and the few NOT good choices were, by normal standards, not that bad. although the 1/2 scoop of frozen custard and hot fudge sauce i had wednesday WAS that bad.
the vet is coming thursday of next week and i'm going to find out if i can ride bluebelle or if it's better that she keep a scrawny rider. she's working through some issues both foot and muscle related, so we're building her up slowly and steadily - all work she does needs to be with that in mind. knowing how much i want to ride was part of the reason my will power was so strong.
+ chickens continue to be amazingly fun and wonderful. i have enough eggs i actually can give some away! =D that makes me all sorts of full of joy. our two teenagers are struggling to get integrated into the main flock and my heart hurts for them: they're so dumb and cute and sweet....when asshole chickens go after them, you can practically see the "i thot we wus frenz!" look on their little faces. we have a total of 10 littles that are ready to get some outside time, but because there are so many of them, they SHOULD integrate better. they're like their own gang. lol one of the 10 is going to a friend because her leg is really messed up. :( mister calls her sharkbait (world of warcraft reference)...i call her eileen. you know....I LEAN. because of the one leg.
anyway.
i'm just glad we have a place for her where she can live with a blind chicken and a wee little bantam in security and safety.
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ok, it's almost time to pack up and go do some shopping. live well, friends.