rain rain go away.
I haven't updated in a really long time. The other day i was on my facebook and saw the link to this journal and (having not even read it in a longgg time) i realized that one of the only things keeping me happy then was Ishmael, even though i barely knew him at all then. I realized i only ever wrote in this when i was unhappy, and that that's the case for most other people too. I wouldn't say Ish is the only thing keeping me happy, i've been pretty content lately- Italy was amazinggg- but i've been having so much fun with Ish lately and i don't want any of this to end. I was supposed to go camping on the islands with my dad, Pat, papa, and Ish this weekend, but it's raining...and it's supposed to continue raining throughout the weekend. I was really looking forward to it too, to having one last big bang before i go off to school on sunday, but i guess it's just not going to happen. This also means i'm going to have to move all my stuff back to Purchase in the rain, by myself, into an apartment full of people i don't know. Rain reminds me of Purchase, Purchase reminds me of rain. I always felt like i was alone there, even when i was with Steve, i just always felt like i was walking through campus by myself...in the rain. Cold puddles at every footstep, i'm really not looking foward to this. I'm not going to be able to sleep with Ishmael every night. And i know he's just going to be an hour and a half away, and i only have class three days a week, and it's only one more year...i just don't want things to change. I'm not going to be able to drive him to work, or watch movies with him whenever i want, or talk to him while he takes a shower, or drink beers and walk down Stickles rd. with him to look at the stars. I don't know, i guess i'm just going to be going home a lot. I've always loved coming home after being at Purchase for an extended period of time, it's so refreshing. And i LOVE the weather in the fall, and part of me wants to bundle up and walk around Purchase, but i know i'm going to get sick of it real fast. I'm just so done with it all, i can't wait till it's all over. Thank god it's only one year. This is such a typical rainy day...i think i'm going to go back to bed, watch a movie with my mom, and work on my Itunes.