(no subject)
because i had fun guessing who jasmine meant in hers, shall do the meme too!
1. List 10 things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will
2. Don't say who they are
3. Never discuss it again
1. hello you! thanks for being one of my best friends all this while - yes you. the one who dwells far, far away. the one who texted me 24/7 on my first few days of school in nanyang so i wouldnt feel lonely although international smsing costs a lot. the one who laughs and is hyper all the time, so much so that people treat you as their kai-xin-guo. and they (including me sometimes) forget that sometimes you need your cheering up too. thanks for the hugs and the chats and the opening up, the keeping and telling of secrets. you rawk. =D
2. i know i dont open up, and i know you do. and i really want to and wish that i could, but there's something stopping me somehow. you said you'd like to see the real me, and i guess i'd like to see the real me too, the one thats hidden beneath the general placid and calm-looking exterior. thanks for being there when i needed someone to talk to, for asking ' hey arent you meant to be at training' and making me stop in my tracks to tell you whats wrong instead of going home and keeping everything down inside as i usually do. i owe you a lot. the two times i've cried so far in ny, you've been there for me, somehow, and i wish i could be what you are to me, to you.
3. haha you. one of the people i've known for the longest. i dont think anything can let me forget the days when we were decked out in white, green and yellow. not that i want to forget them. and the time you saw me in the mrt, and we chatted on msn later, after about 5 years? - its fate. no not THAT kind of fate. as in, we're fated to be friends, at least, thats what i think. you're open about everything you hold, and im not, but i can talk to you. for some reason. and you've given me so much help - in everything. you really dont need to be this nice, and let people (like me) trample over you. and you dont need to be affected by what others think of you, they dont matter. really.
4. i know a lot of what i do seems superficial to you - guarded, fake, forced. like when i smile in reply of something you say, or when i say yes and you know i mean "no.... but whatever." there are times when i feel distant to you - but there are the times when i feel very close to you too. you're one of the only two people i've opened up the most to (though considerably not much), but of course you dont realise. and im too used to hiding a lot of what im feeling. we are very different - in taste, in ideas, in strengths, but underneath, believe it or not, i admire you. for your outspoken-ness, your ability to speak your opinion the way it is - not hidden beneath neutralised words the way i do. and, you're you.
5. you rock, girl. i remember the chat we had last year, about our faith. and this year i think we've both realised the direction we're going. thank you for talking too. when i was agonising over cca choices. and how to tell my parents. you're also one of the few people who understand what marks and academics mean to me - why i get upset when i barely pass instead of getting an A, the same way you would too if it happened to you. there are times when i treat you like a role model - in terms of faith, academia. yet most of the time when i do talk to you (online), you're like my blog. i can rant to you, and you can rant back, and nobody else would hear of what passed between us. thank you.
6. some/many people think we're close. but there are so many barriers between us. i havent told you anything about my past life, the way i think about some people, what i treat most importantly in my life. you havent told me much either. but it feels comfortable to hang out with you, its relaxing. and i feel for you when you're bounded by all kinds of restrictions. but you need to break them, nobody can for you. perhaps you dont realise it, or you do, but these restrictions are costing you your life. really. your daily routine revolves around so little, and something so awfully typical. you can change things - you have the personality to match your features. but it'll take you to show them.
7. im not close to you. no, change that, very few people in general are close to you. you amuse people with your antics, you amaze people with your grades. but you hide yourself more than i hide myself. dont you ever feel tired of holding everything up by yourself? i saw you cry, you hastened to hide it with a flurry of tissue and stomping out of the class to the toilets. i felt like comforting you somehow, to sit down beside you and do something but i couldn't. you hold that distance so tightly between yourself, and other people. a border that cannot be crossed. yet underneath, i believe there lies someone absolutely beautiful. and unique, and perfect in her own way.
8. you! you make me laugh. you make me talk. you make me rattle on and on. you're lovely, adorable, and most important to me - genuine. for you, its either the truth or its shutup.but you're deep too. you hide much of what you feel, you dont want to burden people with your feelings. dont you realise that you wont be burdening anyone, that everyone needs someone to talk to and confide in once in a while. you have a lot in your life, sometimes i feel - too much. that it makes you feel mediocre, because you dont have time for everything. but you're not mediocre. at all. you're one of the truest people i've met, and you're special and unforgettable. <3!
9. haha i dont know if you'll read this. there were times last year when i felt i could open up the easiest to you. then theres times when i feel completely distant to you, like how i can see you without having any response. and on thanks for talking. it was a small gesture, perhaps, just listening to me rant on, and later asking me if it was okay. you're very hard to read - but i dont think i want to read you. you're great to confide in, and you're nice and fun, but you hide a lot too. i dont know if you confide in the group of friends you have - but i dont think so. im praying you find someone you can really open up to. you always have that trapped-deer look in your eyes, but why? you have a lovely smile - if only you'd show it more.
10. i left you for last because i dont know what to say. no, maybe i have too much to say. i feel relaxed when im with you, but i cant really show the real me - for some reason, i feel like im expected to be someone else, from you. there are times when we hang out together for the entire day, then times when i dont talk to you - for an entire day, not even a greeting during flagraising. you're talented, which i dont think you realise. why compare yourself with others before you? and i have a lot to thank you for. at one point of time, you were my best friend. but you're like a cloud - you come along, you pass by, you stop for a while, then you move on, all along changing your shape.
haha. that took me years, gosh.
1. List 10 things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will
2. Don't say who they are
3. Never discuss it again
1. hello you! thanks for being one of my best friends all this while - yes you. the one who dwells far, far away. the one who texted me 24/7 on my first few days of school in nanyang so i wouldnt feel lonely although international smsing costs a lot. the one who laughs and is hyper all the time, so much so that people treat you as their kai-xin-guo. and they (including me sometimes) forget that sometimes you need your cheering up too. thanks for the hugs and the chats and the opening up, the keeping and telling of secrets. you rawk. =D
2. i know i dont open up, and i know you do. and i really want to and wish that i could, but there's something stopping me somehow. you said you'd like to see the real me, and i guess i'd like to see the real me too, the one thats hidden beneath the general placid and calm-looking exterior. thanks for being there when i needed someone to talk to, for asking ' hey arent you meant to be at training' and making me stop in my tracks to tell you whats wrong instead of going home and keeping everything down inside as i usually do. i owe you a lot. the two times i've cried so far in ny, you've been there for me, somehow, and i wish i could be what you are to me, to you.
3. haha you. one of the people i've known for the longest. i dont think anything can let me forget the days when we were decked out in white, green and yellow. not that i want to forget them. and the time you saw me in the mrt, and we chatted on msn later, after about 5 years? - its fate. no not THAT kind of fate. as in, we're fated to be friends, at least, thats what i think. you're open about everything you hold, and im not, but i can talk to you. for some reason. and you've given me so much help - in everything. you really dont need to be this nice, and let people (like me) trample over you. and you dont need to be affected by what others think of you, they dont matter. really.
4. i know a lot of what i do seems superficial to you - guarded, fake, forced. like when i smile in reply of something you say, or when i say yes and you know i mean "no.... but whatever." there are times when i feel distant to you - but there are the times when i feel very close to you too. you're one of the only two people i've opened up the most to (though considerably not much), but of course you dont realise. and im too used to hiding a lot of what im feeling. we are very different - in taste, in ideas, in strengths, but underneath, believe it or not, i admire you. for your outspoken-ness, your ability to speak your opinion the way it is - not hidden beneath neutralised words the way i do. and, you're you.
5. you rock, girl. i remember the chat we had last year, about our faith. and this year i think we've both realised the direction we're going. thank you for talking too. when i was agonising over cca choices. and how to tell my parents. you're also one of the few people who understand what marks and academics mean to me - why i get upset when i barely pass instead of getting an A, the same way you would too if it happened to you. there are times when i treat you like a role model - in terms of faith, academia. yet most of the time when i do talk to you (online), you're like my blog. i can rant to you, and you can rant back, and nobody else would hear of what passed between us. thank you.
6. some/many people think we're close. but there are so many barriers between us. i havent told you anything about my past life, the way i think about some people, what i treat most importantly in my life. you havent told me much either. but it feels comfortable to hang out with you, its relaxing. and i feel for you when you're bounded by all kinds of restrictions. but you need to break them, nobody can for you. perhaps you dont realise it, or you do, but these restrictions are costing you your life. really. your daily routine revolves around so little, and something so awfully typical. you can change things - you have the personality to match your features. but it'll take you to show them.
7. im not close to you. no, change that, very few people in general are close to you. you amuse people with your antics, you amaze people with your grades. but you hide yourself more than i hide myself. dont you ever feel tired of holding everything up by yourself? i saw you cry, you hastened to hide it with a flurry of tissue and stomping out of the class to the toilets. i felt like comforting you somehow, to sit down beside you and do something but i couldn't. you hold that distance so tightly between yourself, and other people. a border that cannot be crossed. yet underneath, i believe there lies someone absolutely beautiful. and unique, and perfect in her own way.
8. you! you make me laugh. you make me talk. you make me rattle on and on. you're lovely, adorable, and most important to me - genuine. for you, its either the truth or its shutup.but you're deep too. you hide much of what you feel, you dont want to burden people with your feelings. dont you realise that you wont be burdening anyone, that everyone needs someone to talk to and confide in once in a while. you have a lot in your life, sometimes i feel - too much. that it makes you feel mediocre, because you dont have time for everything. but you're not mediocre. at all. you're one of the truest people i've met, and you're special and unforgettable. <3!
9. haha i dont know if you'll read this. there were times last year when i felt i could open up the easiest to you. then theres times when i feel completely distant to you, like how i can see you without having any response. and on thanks for talking. it was a small gesture, perhaps, just listening to me rant on, and later asking me if it was okay. you're very hard to read - but i dont think i want to read you. you're great to confide in, and you're nice and fun, but you hide a lot too. i dont know if you confide in the group of friends you have - but i dont think so. im praying you find someone you can really open up to. you always have that trapped-deer look in your eyes, but why? you have a lovely smile - if only you'd show it more.
10. i left you for last because i dont know what to say. no, maybe i have too much to say. i feel relaxed when im with you, but i cant really show the real me - for some reason, i feel like im expected to be someone else, from you. there are times when we hang out together for the entire day, then times when i dont talk to you - for an entire day, not even a greeting during flagraising. you're talented, which i dont think you realise. why compare yourself with others before you? and i have a lot to thank you for. at one point of time, you were my best friend. but you're like a cloud - you come along, you pass by, you stop for a while, then you move on, all along changing your shape.
haha. that took me years, gosh.