Talk about Nostalgia
So I've been thinking that I need to write something, anything really, but I don't know how to get started. I've tried blogs but I never keep them up, I've tried diaries but feel stupid writing to myself. I need feedback on my life, and I've always been better at writing than talking. So livejournal it is.
What really made me decide to come back was rereading my last entry. It was two years ago, and I was in a terrible place. I'm so much better now, and being abroad was all that I wanted it to be and more. I'm a different person that I was when I wrote on this thing four years ago, and I've changed a lot since 2008 too. I don't worry as much. I've tried to adopt Buddhist philosophies (with some success) that have helped with my view on life, but also make it hard for me to remember how to keep in touch with the people around me. Sometimes perspective means its harder to look at the nitty gritty and care.
I have so many people in my life that I really care about, but I don't show it the same way as people our age normally do. I hate texting, I have trouble keeping up on facebook, and I don't think to call. I've found that if someone belongs in your life, they won't condemn you for never calling, but smile when you see them again. I've been developing this theory for awhile, especially since I've yet again lost someone I considered to be my best friend. And it's funny, because I came to a realization that I didn't want her in my life and sort of calmly accepted it, while she's been passively aggressive around me in groups. On Halloween, she managed to insult me indirectly pretty consistently the whole trip. And I never said a word.
While I'm a different person from the last time I wrote on livejournal, slightly more confident and definitely more traveled, I still don't understand people.
What really made me decide to come back was rereading my last entry. It was two years ago, and I was in a terrible place. I'm so much better now, and being abroad was all that I wanted it to be and more. I'm a different person that I was when I wrote on this thing four years ago, and I've changed a lot since 2008 too. I don't worry as much. I've tried to adopt Buddhist philosophies (with some success) that have helped with my view on life, but also make it hard for me to remember how to keep in touch with the people around me. Sometimes perspective means its harder to look at the nitty gritty and care.
I have so many people in my life that I really care about, but I don't show it the same way as people our age normally do. I hate texting, I have trouble keeping up on facebook, and I don't think to call. I've found that if someone belongs in your life, they won't condemn you for never calling, but smile when you see them again. I've been developing this theory for awhile, especially since I've yet again lost someone I considered to be my best friend. And it's funny, because I came to a realization that I didn't want her in my life and sort of calmly accepted it, while she's been passively aggressive around me in groups. On Halloween, she managed to insult me indirectly pretty consistently the whole trip. And I never said a word.
While I'm a different person from the last time I wrote on livejournal, slightly more confident and definitely more traveled, I still don't understand people.