[fic] Things change - Reita/Ruki/Reita - 3/?
Title: Things change
Chapters: 3/?
Author: limaccia_san
Genre: angst, romance, fluff
Warnings: none
Rating: PG-13
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Reita/Ruki/Reita, Ruki/Mao (Sadie)
Disclaimer: Dun own them, blah blah blah..
Synopsis: “…Akira.. things got a tiny better for me because I’ve not seen you in a month.. meeting you everyday.. I don’t know.. I’m.. I’m still in love with you, you’ve to give me some time to push those feelings back again”
Comments: at the bottom
To: Taka
I miss you.
Damn it was true. He missed Ruki so damn much.
He tried really hard not to think about the other is these few weeks but every time he closed his eyes all he’d see was the other’s smile. The one he saw when the vocalist opened his door and let him in whenever he needed. He’d not give up like that, he had to make it up for his mistakes, even if they’d not be lovers anymore at least he had to win his friendship back.
He looked at the screen of his mobile, the simple sentence he typed scaring him and giving him courage at the same time. Ruki’d get mad reading it. Oh yeah, he so would! But this time he had to be selfish: the only certain thing he discovered in this period away from home, away from him, was that he didn’t want to lose him.
He just couldn’t. He meant too much.
“Hey you, who have you been texting to all day?” Kai asked curiously, trying to peek at his mobile.
“Huh? Oh.. just.. someone..” was Reita’s vague reply as he stuffed the phone in his pocket.
“Hum.. do I have the honour to know who this someone is?” Kai wiggles his eyebrows playfully.
“Yeah” Reita rolled his eyes, amused.
Since the bassist wasn’t adding anything: “Oh come on Rei I’m dying of curiosity here, I can’t figure it out without details, I didn’t even know you were seeing someone”
But Reita just shook his head: “Nope nope, my lips are sealed” he smiled teasingly.
“Jerk!” glared the drummer “tell me at least if it’s serious or not”
Reita looked at his shoes: “I think it is.. it took me a while to figure it out.. but I think it is”
“Aww.. have you told them already?” Kai elbowed him.
“Not yet, but, you know, I’m positive that they don’t want to have anything to do with me” replied, now lifting his gaze toward the sky.
“Now, why do you say so?”
“Because I.. I messed everything up with this person. I had them close at hand and I pushed them away, I don’t think they’re going to forgive me for what I did.. and said”
“Come on Rei, it can’t be that bad. Beside, who cares? All you have to think about now is to fight for them, doing everything you can or you’ll regret it”
“Maybe you’re right”
“Of course! Love is about selfishness too sometimes”
And Reita pressed the send button on his phone.
--------------------------------
By: Akira
I miss you.
Ruki clenched the mobile in his fist tightly, trying not to smash the thing against the nearest wall.
How dare he?? After all he did he still had the nerve to write such a thing?
He didn’t understand why this was happening, why Reita had to make everything even more difficult that it already was. Was it so complicated for the other to leave him alone? Last time he checked the bassist didn’t even know his own feelings or what he wanted to do with Ruki’s. Now that it was over he was trying to buy his forgiveness with some lame, cheesy message?
The worst thing was that Ruki’d pretend all he wanted, he’d pretend to be strong and build an angry attitude toward the other, revel in the pleasure of seeing him struggle to come closer, but he’d not fool himself. All he felt at the moment was hurt and sadness and damn he missed the other too. So much.
Image of the bassist knocking at his door in the middle of the night hunted him everywhere and them kissing, cuddling together, sleeping in the same bed, hugging each other close..
At least he didn’t have to see the other at work. But this didn’t help to block the memories.. anyway the month was almost over, just few days were left and he still didn’t know what to do.
The only thing he knew was that he wanted to have some fun and just stop to think.
Uruha and Aoi organized a little party to celebrate the album conclusion and to welcome back their band mates and they’re going to meet in a club. He wanted to refuse at the beginning, he hadn’t any intention to welcome back that blonde jerk, but he didn’t have to go there for him.. no way! He’d go, have fun, greet Kai and then go back home. And that was it!
--------------------------------
Ruki joined Uruha and Aoi in the club they agreed to meet in, luckily the others weren’t there yet, so he relaxed with his friends, getting something to drink.
They were laughing about something when Ruki felt a tap on his shoulder, slightly panicking at the thought that it’d be Reita he turned around slowly, just to meet a friendly, well known face:
“Mao, hey!" he greeted cheerfully, standing up to hug the newcomer "How are you?”
Mao gladly welcomed the hug and smiled warmly: “I’m fine. What about you? I’ve not seen you in months”
“Aaah I’m sorry, work was hell and we’ve been very busy”
Mao nodded and Ruki introduced him to the others who waved.
“Do you mind if I stole your friend for a bit? I’d like to make him dance with me” Mao asked with a smirk.
“Go right ahead man, but be careful, he bites” teased Uruha and Ruki just slapped his head, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, I know” Mao smirked even more, guiding the vocalist toward the dance floor. He wound his arms around Ruki’s waist, pulling him close and leaned in to kiss his neck: “I’ve missed you”
Ruki bite his lip, feeling his face heat up immediately and hummed: “I’m sorry I disappeared like that”
“So you actually were avoiding me” smiled Mao, making their glued bodies swing to the beat.
He smiled wider when he felt the other’s arms around his neck.
“Just a bit” chuckled Ruki, making it up with a light kiss on his lips.
”Damn Mastumoto, you’re so hot” growled the other, pushing their hips together.
“Look who’s talking” breathed Ruki, smirking, eyes half lidded.
“Hey, you poor excuse for a lyricist, is that the best compliment you can come up with?” mocked Mao.
Ruki gasped, pretending to be offended and slapped his chest: “Shut up!!”
Mao just laughed and took him in his arms again. Ruki relaxed in his embrace and sighed contently.
It’s like this that it’d be to flirt with someone. Mischievous, funny and carefree.. devoid of all the hurt and the bad feelings he felt with someone else..
..someone who just entered the club, Kai by his side. They quickly spotted their guitarists who were sitting in a corner and joined them.
“Hey, you did it” they both stand up to hug their two friends.
“Guys we did an awesome job..” Kai started excitedly.
“No no no no Kai, don’t even try! We’re not here to talk about work!” interrupted Aoi.
“Right, what about a toast?” proposed Reita.
“This is talking” said Uruha, calling a waiter with a wave of his hand.
“Someone’d go to pick the midget back though, I think he got lost with his friend somewhere” said Aoi, not noticing the frown on Reita’s face.
“Right, I don’t even see him anymore” said Uruha, narrowing his eyes, peering at the crowd “Oh there he is.. Reita go to call him, will you?”
Reita sighed and stood up, pushing his way trough the moving bodies to reach his little vocalist.
What he saw made his stomach clench painfully: those foreign arms around Ruki’s slim waist, his hips pressed against someone else’s, his smiling face distant just few inches from the other man’s..
He unconsciously fisted his hands, but he knew he had to keep calm.
He approached them and put a hand on Ruki’s shoulder who turned, a shocked expression on his face as he saw the bassist. He practically jumped out of Mao’s hug, who looked from one another confused as Ruki tried: “Reita wha..”
“I’m sorry to bother guys, but we’re waiting for you to start Ruki” he explained as nonchalantly as he could.
Ruki looked at him with wide eyes. Oh. No drama? “O-ok, I’m coming” he said very embarrassed now.
“Great.. Oh I’m Reita by the way, nice to meet you” the bassist shook the stranger’s hand, probably a bit harder than necessary.
“Mao, nice to meet you too” greeted the other, a bit confused as he watched Reita’s back walk away to their table.
“Hey, I’m sorry but I’ve to go” a confused Ruki caught the other attention again.
“Yeah, I got that” he chuckled and hugged him again “Don’t disappear again, ok?”
“I won’t” he kissed Mao lightly once more and with a last glance he walked away.
He felt so damn guilty. But why??!?! It wasn’t like he owned something to the other. ..if just Reita had a different reaction.. a less civil and reasonable one.. or maybe he just didn’t give a fuck about him and that was the proof, but what with that message then?
He finally reached the table and greeted Kai with an hug, taking the glass the others was offering him. They had a nice night together, chatting and enjoying their time. Reita’s eyes lingered more than once in Ruki’s and he had to avert his eyes in order not to blush.
Why was he looking at him like that anyway? It was a gentle gaze, wasn’t he angry for what he saw? But again, why should he? He surely found himself someone else to relieve his needs with, so no need to be jealous.
“Guys, we’d get going, the jet leg is killing me” said Kai several drinks later.
“Ok, ok, we’ve had enough for tonight” agreed Uruha, earning 4 shocked gazes “What? I had few drinks before coming here”
Everyone rolled their eyes
“Oh now I’m relieved!” teased Aoi, making everyone laugh.
Ruki was shaking his head at the blonde guitarist as he heard the bassist talk to him.
“Ruki, do you need a ride?”
His eyes went wide again: “Huh? I-I don’t..”
Reita just looked at him, waiting for an intelligible answer.
“I don’t want to bother you, you must be tired and.. and.. “ managed Ruki. < When exactly did we switched roles?? >
“I don’t mind.. but if you feel uncomfortable it’s ok, I understand” shrugged the other.
“No.. no, I.. uh thanks” he didn’t know what to say, really, this was so out of the blue, he definitely wasn’t ready for this.
“Ok, let’s go” replied Reita cheerfully and they greeted their band members “See you dorks on Monday then, bye!” before silently walking to his car.
The bassist took Ruki’s answer as a little victory. He wanted a chance to understand if Ruki was still very mad at him and if he finally could do something to make the situation better.
The strange silence between then wasn’t very helpful though, so he tried:
“So, how did you managed to survive with those two retarded without support?”
“I.. hum.. I have these autistic tendencies, you know”
Again Ruki didn’t know what the hell was happening, so he decided to behave as he usually did around the other.. to be him.. cause with Reita he’d always be himself.
Reita burst out laughing, making Ruki grin along: “Yeah, I guess it’s the only way, isn’t it?”
Ruki looked at him for a second. He felt comfortable enough to ask: “Tell me about your trip”
Reita threw a surprised glance at the other, and then he just smiled and began to tell him funny stories about their plane trip, the place where they were accommodated, the staff and their work.. Ruki listened to him attentively, loosing himself in the sound of the other’s voice, realizing only in that moment how much he actually missed him. Maybe he just had to stop, put aside his pride and seriously thinking about the bassist’s offer.
Without even noticing they spent almost an hour chatting in the parking lot outside Ruki’s flat building and they didn’t realize it until a comfortable silence spread in the car:
“Man, it’s so late!” said Ruki surprised.
“Eeeh you know that when you start talking it’s impossible to stop you Ruki” teased Reita.
“Hey, I’m not that talkative, besides you’re the one who makes me talk so much” said the vocalist, pretending to be offended.
“I do it on purpose, I enjoy your company too much to make you shut up” smiled gently the other.
“…” Ruki averted his gaze, suddenly nervous and sad at the same time.
“Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I thought you already knew that” Reita smiled apologetically.
“Lately I’ve doubted most of the things I knew” muttered the other.
“Taka.. I won’t say anymore that I’m sorry. You made it pretty clear that you won’t forgive me anyway and I kinda understand, you probably think that everything I’ll say is just to fool you and get you in my arms again.. use you like I did lately” Ruki looked a him finally letting a sparkle of hurt blink in his eyes “I.. I thought about you a lot in the last month, more than I wanted actually” Reita chuckled “but it seemed that I’d not help it, and I realized what a jerk I’ve been”
Ruki snorted at this. But Reita continued, very determined to say everything he needed to.
“What I decided is that I’d just stop talking. We’ve seen where my big mouth brings us, so I’ll show you instead”
“Huh?” Ruki looked confusedly at him.
“I want to show you how much I care Taka. About you, about our friendship.. hopefully I haven’t ruined it for good..” he added shyly.
Ruki didn’t know what to think about the things the other said: “Akira.. I-I don’t know if things can go back as they used to be.. I.. you make me so fucking confused..” he groaned.
“Taka, listen, I understand that I hurt you a lot with everything I did and I understand that it’ll be difficult for you to trust me again but, please.. give me a chance. It’s all I ask for” he tried to keep his voice calm, but if Ruki refused he’d not be surprised to feel desperate tears fall from his eyes.
“…Akira.. things got a tiny better for me because I’ve not seen you in a month.. meeting you everyday.. I don’t know.. I’m.. I’m still in love with you, you’ve to give me some time to push those feelings back again” he murmured, not looking at him.
< WHAT?? No no, please.. > “..you don’t have to..” he replied in an even lower tone.
“I must! You know, confessing to you it’s been a mistake, it was because of my feelings that I let you use me, so we’re both to blame here. Just to be clear, I’m still mad at you, you’ve been cruel and mean to me, but.. even if I’ve not replied to your message.. I miss you too”
Truth was that Ruki wasn’t even mad at the other anymore, the thought that this was the end somehow of their “romance” was painful. It was better to stay friends instead of being nothing, but the realization that those arms wouldn’t held him anymore made him feel sick.
If he just didn’t push the matter that night, if he just gave the bassist some more time.. if he just let him use him for a little bit more..
Ruki managed a small smile and Reita smiled back He dared to take the other’s hand who flinched at the touch but let him. He squeezed his fingers lightly:
“I wish I figured out my feelings earlier Taka, before I ruined everything with you” smiled sadly Reita, earning a confused gaze “I’m glad you’re at least still talking to me though, thank you”
Ruki sighed: “You’re welcome, I guess”
He felt the other’s hand let his own go and a new wave of pain flushed above him. He didn’t want to actually give up on Reita, he wasn’t ready. He bit his lip as he heard the other say:
“See you at practice?”
He looked at him for a brief moment: “Sure. Have a good night”
“You too Taka”
They smiled at each other and Ruki hesitated a moment before pushing the door open. He knew he was drawing the line to their “story” and honestly all he wanted to do was pull Reita out of there and kiss him all the way up to his place and to his bed and never, never let him go.
But he’d not, right? The other was trying his best to fix things between them and he had to face reality and be content with the lesser of two evils.
So he just opened the door and run away from his love.
Notes♪ :
More drama! 8D
I hope you liked the new chap and thanks for reading and commenting on the previous! Next chap is half done, I'll try to finish it for next week! Let me know what you think <3
Chapters: 3/?
Author: limaccia_san
Genre: angst, romance, fluff
Warnings: none
Rating: PG-13
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Reita/Ruki/Reita, Ruki/Mao (Sadie)
Disclaimer: Dun own them, blah blah blah..
Synopsis: “…Akira.. things got a tiny better for me because I’ve not seen you in a month.. meeting you everyday.. I don’t know.. I’m.. I’m still in love with you, you’ve to give me some time to push those feelings back again”
Comments: at the bottom
To: Taka
I miss you.
Damn it was true. He missed Ruki so damn much.
He tried really hard not to think about the other is these few weeks but every time he closed his eyes all he’d see was the other’s smile. The one he saw when the vocalist opened his door and let him in whenever he needed. He’d not give up like that, he had to make it up for his mistakes, even if they’d not be lovers anymore at least he had to win his friendship back.
He looked at the screen of his mobile, the simple sentence he typed scaring him and giving him courage at the same time. Ruki’d get mad reading it. Oh yeah, he so would! But this time he had to be selfish: the only certain thing he discovered in this period away from home, away from him, was that he didn’t want to lose him.
He just couldn’t. He meant too much.
“Hey you, who have you been texting to all day?” Kai asked curiously, trying to peek at his mobile.
“Huh? Oh.. just.. someone..” was Reita’s vague reply as he stuffed the phone in his pocket.
“Hum.. do I have the honour to know who this someone is?” Kai wiggles his eyebrows playfully.
“Yeah” Reita rolled his eyes, amused.
Since the bassist wasn’t adding anything: “Oh come on Rei I’m dying of curiosity here, I can’t figure it out without details, I didn’t even know you were seeing someone”
But Reita just shook his head: “Nope nope, my lips are sealed” he smiled teasingly.
“Jerk!” glared the drummer “tell me at least if it’s serious or not”
Reita looked at his shoes: “I think it is.. it took me a while to figure it out.. but I think it is”
“Aww.. have you told them already?” Kai elbowed him.
“Not yet, but, you know, I’m positive that they don’t want to have anything to do with me” replied, now lifting his gaze toward the sky.
“Now, why do you say so?”
“Because I.. I messed everything up with this person. I had them close at hand and I pushed them away, I don’t think they’re going to forgive me for what I did.. and said”
“Come on Rei, it can’t be that bad. Beside, who cares? All you have to think about now is to fight for them, doing everything you can or you’ll regret it”
“Maybe you’re right”
“Of course! Love is about selfishness too sometimes”
And Reita pressed the send button on his phone.
--------------------------------
By: Akira
I miss you.
Ruki clenched the mobile in his fist tightly, trying not to smash the thing against the nearest wall.
How dare he?? After all he did he still had the nerve to write such a thing?
He didn’t understand why this was happening, why Reita had to make everything even more difficult that it already was. Was it so complicated for the other to leave him alone? Last time he checked the bassist didn’t even know his own feelings or what he wanted to do with Ruki’s. Now that it was over he was trying to buy his forgiveness with some lame, cheesy message?
The worst thing was that Ruki’d pretend all he wanted, he’d pretend to be strong and build an angry attitude toward the other, revel in the pleasure of seeing him struggle to come closer, but he’d not fool himself. All he felt at the moment was hurt and sadness and damn he missed the other too. So much.
Image of the bassist knocking at his door in the middle of the night hunted him everywhere and them kissing, cuddling together, sleeping in the same bed, hugging each other close..
At least he didn’t have to see the other at work. But this didn’t help to block the memories.. anyway the month was almost over, just few days were left and he still didn’t know what to do.
The only thing he knew was that he wanted to have some fun and just stop to think.
Uruha and Aoi organized a little party to celebrate the album conclusion and to welcome back their band mates and they’re going to meet in a club. He wanted to refuse at the beginning, he hadn’t any intention to welcome back that blonde jerk, but he didn’t have to go there for him.. no way! He’d go, have fun, greet Kai and then go back home. And that was it!
--------------------------------
Ruki joined Uruha and Aoi in the club they agreed to meet in, luckily the others weren’t there yet, so he relaxed with his friends, getting something to drink.
They were laughing about something when Ruki felt a tap on his shoulder, slightly panicking at the thought that it’d be Reita he turned around slowly, just to meet a friendly, well known face:
“Mao, hey!" he greeted cheerfully, standing up to hug the newcomer "How are you?”
Mao gladly welcomed the hug and smiled warmly: “I’m fine. What about you? I’ve not seen you in months”
“Aaah I’m sorry, work was hell and we’ve been very busy”
Mao nodded and Ruki introduced him to the others who waved.
“Do you mind if I stole your friend for a bit? I’d like to make him dance with me” Mao asked with a smirk.
“Go right ahead man, but be careful, he bites” teased Uruha and Ruki just slapped his head, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, I know” Mao smirked even more, guiding the vocalist toward the dance floor. He wound his arms around Ruki’s waist, pulling him close and leaned in to kiss his neck: “I’ve missed you”
Ruki bite his lip, feeling his face heat up immediately and hummed: “I’m sorry I disappeared like that”
“So you actually were avoiding me” smiled Mao, making their glued bodies swing to the beat.
He smiled wider when he felt the other’s arms around his neck.
“Just a bit” chuckled Ruki, making it up with a light kiss on his lips.
”Damn Mastumoto, you’re so hot” growled the other, pushing their hips together.
“Look who’s talking” breathed Ruki, smirking, eyes half lidded.
“Hey, you poor excuse for a lyricist, is that the best compliment you can come up with?” mocked Mao.
Ruki gasped, pretending to be offended and slapped his chest: “Shut up!!”
Mao just laughed and took him in his arms again. Ruki relaxed in his embrace and sighed contently.
It’s like this that it’d be to flirt with someone. Mischievous, funny and carefree.. devoid of all the hurt and the bad feelings he felt with someone else..
..someone who just entered the club, Kai by his side. They quickly spotted their guitarists who were sitting in a corner and joined them.
“Hey, you did it” they both stand up to hug their two friends.
“Guys we did an awesome job..” Kai started excitedly.
“No no no no Kai, don’t even try! We’re not here to talk about work!” interrupted Aoi.
“Right, what about a toast?” proposed Reita.
“This is talking” said Uruha, calling a waiter with a wave of his hand.
“Someone’d go to pick the midget back though, I think he got lost with his friend somewhere” said Aoi, not noticing the frown on Reita’s face.
“Right, I don’t even see him anymore” said Uruha, narrowing his eyes, peering at the crowd “Oh there he is.. Reita go to call him, will you?”
Reita sighed and stood up, pushing his way trough the moving bodies to reach his little vocalist.
What he saw made his stomach clench painfully: those foreign arms around Ruki’s slim waist, his hips pressed against someone else’s, his smiling face distant just few inches from the other man’s..
He unconsciously fisted his hands, but he knew he had to keep calm.
He approached them and put a hand on Ruki’s shoulder who turned, a shocked expression on his face as he saw the bassist. He practically jumped out of Mao’s hug, who looked from one another confused as Ruki tried: “Reita wha..”
“I’m sorry to bother guys, but we’re waiting for you to start Ruki” he explained as nonchalantly as he could.
Ruki looked at him with wide eyes. Oh. No drama? “O-ok, I’m coming” he said very embarrassed now.
“Great.. Oh I’m Reita by the way, nice to meet you” the bassist shook the stranger’s hand, probably a bit harder than necessary.
“Mao, nice to meet you too” greeted the other, a bit confused as he watched Reita’s back walk away to their table.
“Hey, I’m sorry but I’ve to go” a confused Ruki caught the other attention again.
“Yeah, I got that” he chuckled and hugged him again “Don’t disappear again, ok?”
“I won’t” he kissed Mao lightly once more and with a last glance he walked away.
He felt so damn guilty. But why??!?! It wasn’t like he owned something to the other. ..if just Reita had a different reaction.. a less civil and reasonable one.. or maybe he just didn’t give a fuck about him and that was the proof, but what with that message then?
He finally reached the table and greeted Kai with an hug, taking the glass the others was offering him. They had a nice night together, chatting and enjoying their time. Reita’s eyes lingered more than once in Ruki’s and he had to avert his eyes in order not to blush.
Why was he looking at him like that anyway? It was a gentle gaze, wasn’t he angry for what he saw? But again, why should he? He surely found himself someone else to relieve his needs with, so no need to be jealous.
“Guys, we’d get going, the jet leg is killing me” said Kai several drinks later.
“Ok, ok, we’ve had enough for tonight” agreed Uruha, earning 4 shocked gazes “What? I had few drinks before coming here”
Everyone rolled their eyes
“Oh now I’m relieved!” teased Aoi, making everyone laugh.
Ruki was shaking his head at the blonde guitarist as he heard the bassist talk to him.
“Ruki, do you need a ride?”
His eyes went wide again: “Huh? I-I don’t..”
Reita just looked at him, waiting for an intelligible answer.
“I don’t want to bother you, you must be tired and.. and.. “ managed Ruki. < When exactly did we switched roles?? >
“I don’t mind.. but if you feel uncomfortable it’s ok, I understand” shrugged the other.
“No.. no, I.. uh thanks” he didn’t know what to say, really, this was so out of the blue, he definitely wasn’t ready for this.
“Ok, let’s go” replied Reita cheerfully and they greeted their band members “See you dorks on Monday then, bye!” before silently walking to his car.
The bassist took Ruki’s answer as a little victory. He wanted a chance to understand if Ruki was still very mad at him and if he finally could do something to make the situation better.
The strange silence between then wasn’t very helpful though, so he tried:
“So, how did you managed to survive with those two retarded without support?”
“I.. hum.. I have these autistic tendencies, you know”
Again Ruki didn’t know what the hell was happening, so he decided to behave as he usually did around the other.. to be him.. cause with Reita he’d always be himself.
Reita burst out laughing, making Ruki grin along: “Yeah, I guess it’s the only way, isn’t it?”
Ruki looked at him for a second. He felt comfortable enough to ask: “Tell me about your trip”
Reita threw a surprised glance at the other, and then he just smiled and began to tell him funny stories about their plane trip, the place where they were accommodated, the staff and their work.. Ruki listened to him attentively, loosing himself in the sound of the other’s voice, realizing only in that moment how much he actually missed him. Maybe he just had to stop, put aside his pride and seriously thinking about the bassist’s offer.
Without even noticing they spent almost an hour chatting in the parking lot outside Ruki’s flat building and they didn’t realize it until a comfortable silence spread in the car:
“Man, it’s so late!” said Ruki surprised.
“Eeeh you know that when you start talking it’s impossible to stop you Ruki” teased Reita.
“Hey, I’m not that talkative, besides you’re the one who makes me talk so much” said the vocalist, pretending to be offended.
“I do it on purpose, I enjoy your company too much to make you shut up” smiled gently the other.
“…” Ruki averted his gaze, suddenly nervous and sad at the same time.
“Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I thought you already knew that” Reita smiled apologetically.
“Lately I’ve doubted most of the things I knew” muttered the other.
“Taka.. I won’t say anymore that I’m sorry. You made it pretty clear that you won’t forgive me anyway and I kinda understand, you probably think that everything I’ll say is just to fool you and get you in my arms again.. use you like I did lately” Ruki looked a him finally letting a sparkle of hurt blink in his eyes “I.. I thought about you a lot in the last month, more than I wanted actually” Reita chuckled “but it seemed that I’d not help it, and I realized what a jerk I’ve been”
Ruki snorted at this. But Reita continued, very determined to say everything he needed to.
“What I decided is that I’d just stop talking. We’ve seen where my big mouth brings us, so I’ll show you instead”
“Huh?” Ruki looked confusedly at him.
“I want to show you how much I care Taka. About you, about our friendship.. hopefully I haven’t ruined it for good..” he added shyly.
Ruki didn’t know what to think about the things the other said: “Akira.. I-I don’t know if things can go back as they used to be.. I.. you make me so fucking confused..” he groaned.
“Taka, listen, I understand that I hurt you a lot with everything I did and I understand that it’ll be difficult for you to trust me again but, please.. give me a chance. It’s all I ask for” he tried to keep his voice calm, but if Ruki refused he’d not be surprised to feel desperate tears fall from his eyes.
“…Akira.. things got a tiny better for me because I’ve not seen you in a month.. meeting you everyday.. I don’t know.. I’m.. I’m still in love with you, you’ve to give me some time to push those feelings back again” he murmured, not looking at him.
< WHAT?? No no, please.. > “..you don’t have to..” he replied in an even lower tone.
“I must! You know, confessing to you it’s been a mistake, it was because of my feelings that I let you use me, so we’re both to blame here. Just to be clear, I’m still mad at you, you’ve been cruel and mean to me, but.. even if I’ve not replied to your message.. I miss you too”
Truth was that Ruki wasn’t even mad at the other anymore, the thought that this was the end somehow of their “romance” was painful. It was better to stay friends instead of being nothing, but the realization that those arms wouldn’t held him anymore made him feel sick.
If he just didn’t push the matter that night, if he just gave the bassist some more time.. if he just let him use him for a little bit more..
Ruki managed a small smile and Reita smiled back He dared to take the other’s hand who flinched at the touch but let him. He squeezed his fingers lightly:
“I wish I figured out my feelings earlier Taka, before I ruined everything with you” smiled sadly Reita, earning a confused gaze “I’m glad you’re at least still talking to me though, thank you”
Ruki sighed: “You’re welcome, I guess”
He felt the other’s hand let his own go and a new wave of pain flushed above him. He didn’t want to actually give up on Reita, he wasn’t ready. He bit his lip as he heard the other say:
“See you at practice?”
He looked at him for a brief moment: “Sure. Have a good night”
“You too Taka”
They smiled at each other and Ruki hesitated a moment before pushing the door open. He knew he was drawing the line to their “story” and honestly all he wanted to do was pull Reita out of there and kiss him all the way up to his place and to his bed and never, never let him go.
But he’d not, right? The other was trying his best to fix things between them and he had to face reality and be content with the lesser of two evils.
So he just opened the door and run away from his love.
Notes♪ :
More drama! 8D
I hope you liked the new chap and thanks for reading and commenting on the previous! Next chap is half done, I'll try to finish it for next week! Let me know what you think <3