STEP ONE TO HAPPINESS: The confession
Well I'm officially typing with one hand today, eh, one and a half hands you could say. The other is in a tensor bandage making sure I don't bend my thumb because it hurts. I figured if I stayed away from any and all sharp objects while at work last night I'd be all right. But no, I had to cut myself with a blunt object, the corner of a soup insert. A soup insert, how did I manage that one? Well I was doing dishes in a hate driven rage last night. That'll definitely do it.
To boot I'm sick, possibly strepthroat from my one of my bestest buddies Nomi that even kept my sorry ass company when she was sick and dying. I don't think I could ever forgive myself for what a horribly greedy person I am. That's the story of my life though, being greedy and taking everything as I needed. I'm pretty sure if it was for my amazing 3 and half day romp with a certain Mr. Bubbles I wouldn't be as sane as I am now. For that I thank you. My glorious guardian ange. *sighs*
Well I guess I got a whole team of them. I have Dwayne, Sarita, Samantha, Naomi, Xander, Charles, Alex 2.0 and many others. It’s amazing how many people are willing to sacrifice so much for me. Its all a part of being loved, I think. Honestly though I don't think I deserve all of this attention and I'm hoping it will all turn to rest in a couple days here. I hate dramatic bullshit and I can't wait to get out of this little hell hole we call CV.
That boy ruined my life; he made me realize how horrible I am for crumbling and giving him the world. What do I get in return? A swift kick in the ass and an "I'll holla at ya later babe". So what am I some sort of booty call I don' think so. Don't think I haven't forgotten that you have crushed over ever-close feminine friend I ever had. Silly boy thinks I'll forget everything because it hurts so badly. Not this woman.
That's right woman, after this I think I have the right to say I've matured enough to be more then just a baby anymore. I'm no longer going to melt away in your arms...you wait and see there Dylan, I will have my revenge and it will be sweet and tasteless...
And yet, after all that venting, I really do still love him though. That’s the only thing that keeps those thoughts clouding my mind is that no matter what he loved me with all his heart at a time, when I was too blinded to see what he meant to me...