Fanmix: "Anthem of the Angels"
Title: Anthem of the Angels
Fandom: Supernatural/Stargate Atlantis
Spoilers: 5.04 "The End" (Supernatural), all five seasons of Atlantis
Characters/Pairing: John/Rodney, Dean/Castiel, Michael/Charlie (OC)
Tracks: 13 (all MP3 format; runtime: 50 minutes)
WARNINGS: This fanmix is based of a fanfiction I am currently writing. There are spoilers for the fic, as well as the above mentioned episodes of each show. And there will be MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH! This is not a happy fanmix.
♫ FIREFLIES AND EMPTY SKIES;;god is an astronaut
(instrumental)
Then there was the leader of this tiny group of runaways, Charlie Taylor, was prepared if only for one reason: her father (who had been a hunter long before he found the infant on the doorstep of his motel room). Her father was killed when the virus first hit.
---------------
Not much made her pause, but as they walked through the woods she spotted a body lying by a faint path through the trees. Charlie moved forward cautiously. She was close enough now to see that whoever it was, they were breathing. Suddenly, like a flash, something moved passed her. "Tristan... ummm... Caleb!" She never could tell them apart. "I said stop." She snapped after approaching the boys. Charlie stood over the body.
It was clearly a man. He had short blonde hair and fair skin and was wearing dark leather clothes. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Tristan (or Caleb) pick up a stick. "Don't you dare," she barked. It was too late though, and the boy jabbed the unconscious body with the stick; his brother quickly followed. "That's enough." She grabbed the sticks away from the boys and pointed back towards the rest of the group. The twins walked back with their heads hung in defeat.
As she knelt down, she pulled a gun from her belt and held it in her right hand. She could see specs of deep red amongst his blonde hair. A head injure. The man began to stir and he rolled over onto his back. Charlie's grip on her gun tightened. "Are you-" She stopped quickly and jumped back as soon as the man's eyelids lifted and yellow cat-like eyes looked back at her.
♫ DUST AND ECHOES;;god is an astronaut
(instrumental)
They had been running for a while, and luckily in these woods it was easy to lose their pursuers. Once Charlie was sure they had managed to escape the Croats she had the group slow down. They had been walking for days now, trying to get to a refugee camp in Kansas City. Everyone was exhausted, but it was safer than trying to drive with a group this large. Charlie glanced back at the group behind her. They were all staring at this stranger, and she had no idea what to make of him. He was no Croat, holy water had absolutely no effect on him. Her mind raced through everything she had come across in her life, and this man didn't fit into any of them.
He was keeping up well enough, walking in front of the group alongside Charlie. "What's going on," he asked in a hushed tone.
"What do you mean what's going on? Where the hell have you been for the past six months?" She shook her head and glanced at him. "Hold up you guys," she said more to the group than the man she was facing. Charlie pulled her backpack off her back and rummaged through it for a minute or so. When she turned back to the stranger she had clothes in her hands. "You'll never make it, walkin' in these woods wearing half a cow. Go over there and put these on. They should fit."
---------------------
They continued walking until just before nightfall when they were forced to stop. The group made their way into a small town and holed up inside an old convenient store. The hours passed quickly and soon most of the group was asleep. Charlie sat on the register, looking out the window at a small empty parking lot. Shuffling from behind her stole her attention away from the clear night's sky. She found the newcomer approaching her quietly. "You really don't know what's going on?" He shook his head. "Its a virus... They call it the Croatoan virus... It's umm... its hard to explain... Basically its like Zombieland out there or something."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Zombies... you know, walking dead... like to eat brains... 28 Days Later... Dawn of the Dead?" He still seemed completely lost by her explanation. "Its a war zone." He understood that. She could see it in his strange yellow eyes. "So what's your story, mystery man?" She pushed herself off the register and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You at least got a name?"
He laughed, almost bitterly. "Michael... I guess."
♫ HERE IN YOUR ARMS;;hellogoodbye
CHARLIE/MICHAEL
i like where you sleep
when you sleep next to me
i like where you sleep, here
cause our lips can touch
and our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch, here
well you are the one,
the one that lies close to me
whispers, "hello"
i miss you quite terribly"
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now there's no place else
i could be but here in your arms.
♫ WITHOUT YOU;;breaking benjamin
CHARLIE/MICHAEL
say something new; i have nothing left
i can't face the dark without you
there's nothing left to lose; the fighting never ends
i can'f face the dark without you
follow me under and pull me apart
i understand there's nothing left
pain so familiar and close to the heart
no more, no less, i won't forget
♫ IN THE HOUSE; IN A HEARTBEAT;;john murphy
(instrumental)
The virus hit before anyone could react. While Atlantis itself was busy fighting off the Wraith, Stargate Command was trying to gain control over the infection. They failed, and were never able to get a message to Atlantis about the virus. It wiped out most of Stargate Command in a matter of hours, and in the process of going back and forth between land and Atlantis, the infection was brought into the city. It spread like wildfire and the city's defenses never caught it. Out of the entire city there were only five survivors. As far as they knew, no one within the SGC survived the outbreak. Atlantis' only survivors were: Teyla Emmagan, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Carson Beckett, and Evan Lorne.
They had been on their own, barely trying to survive, for two days before they were attacked. Their weapons had no effect on the mob, one went down there was another to take its place. "This way," a familiar and surprising voice shouted and someone grabbed McKay by his arm. His heart almost stopped when his eyes fell upon his friend and former leader, John Sheppard. John had been in the SGC when the virus broke out. They all thought he was dead.
--------------
"Help me move these." There were several shelving units within the store. John nodded towards them. Ronon and Sheppard pushed the shelves into place in front of the glass doors. That would not hold them back for long.
"We cannot stay here," Teyla told them.
"Ya' think?" Sheppard smirked slightly. "This probably won't stop them, but it'll slow 'em down. We can sneak out the back, but you have to be as quiet as possible." His eyes fell upon Rodney.
"What? Oh come on!" Rodney let out a loud, exasperated sigh, which only earned an "I told you so" look from Sheppard.
"Let's go." The group quietly made their way out the back door of the drug store and found themselves in an alley. At one end of the alley Sheppard spotted a group of them. "Son of a bitch," he muttered. "Let's go." There was no point in being quiet now, they had been spotted. The team took off running without wasting another second. After turning the corner at the end of the alley, Rodney's foot got caught on something and he slammed into the ground. "McKay!" Sheppard turned on his heels and ran back to Rodney. He held out his hand and pulled the scientist to his feet.
♫ SO LONG, LONESOME;;explosions in the sky
(instrumental)
"What the hell," Rodney shouted when they were absolutely sure they were clear of any threat. "Seriously," he panted. "Were we just running from..."
"Zombies," Carson answered, finishing Rodney's sentence for him.
"Apparently," John laughed. They stopped in a small wooded area and John leaned against a tree. He smiled as he looked over his team and chuckled as Rodney nearly fell over, exaggerating his exhaustion.
"Zombies?" Teyla seemed utterly confused by the term.
"Don't ask," Ronon told her, placing a hand on her shoulder with a small smile on his face. "Just... don't ask."
Teyla nodded, as if Ronon had given her an order. "I think the more important question then, is where is Michael?"
"You lost Michael," Sheppard said quickly. They had found him hiding away on Atlantis some weeks prior, he had been locked up ever since.
"It was bit chaotic Col. Sheppard, especially after the virus hit."
"Maybe the zombies got him," Lorne suggested.
♫ INTO THE NOTHING;;breaking benjamin
screaming on the inside; i'm frail and withered
cover up the wounds that i can't hide
walls that lie between us; the saint within the sinner
i have lost the nerve, but its all right
carry the wounded, shut your eyes
all will be forgiven, none will rise
bury the fallen and lead the blind
i will find the lost, dead inside
into the nothing, faded and weary
i will not leave and let you fall behind
live for the dying, heaven hear me
i know we can make it out alive
stay with me, you're all i have left
i know we can make it out alive
stay with me, you're all i have left
i know we can make it out alive
John woke them early that morning. For the first time they had been able to sleep, or at least rest, in beds after they found an abandoned homeless shelter. Sheppard shoved Rodney, not that McKay had been sleeping. "Let's go. We're heading out early."
Rodney sat up slowly. "What for?"
"McKay," Sheppard snapped, assuming it would silence his friend as it usually did.
Rodney stood and shook his head. "No, Sheppard. Answer me. What for?" What's the point of this? So we find this camp, then what?"
"No Sheppard, we haven't! Don't you get it? Everyone's dead John! Everyone! I watched Zelenka tear Jennifer apart with his bare hands before I..." His voice trailed off and he looked away for a moment. "I had to kill one of my best friends. They're all dead! Everyone... Jeanie... oh God," he whispered. "I have lost everything! There is no happy ending Sheppard! You've seen those things! We have not been through worse. Quit lying for the sake of morale. There's no point! We all know there is no-"
Rodney McKay was silenced by something he would never have believed, not even in his wildest dreams (well, technically that's a lie, the thought had entered one or two rather wild dreams of his). John Sheppard's lips crashed against McKay's, effectively stealing away his breath and any sort of intelligent thought.
-----------------
"You haven't lost everything," John said simply before walking out of the room.
♫ ANTHEM OF THE ANGELS;;breaking benjamin
cold light above us;
hope fills the hearts and fades away
skin white as winter
as the sky returns to grey
days go on forever
but i have not left your side
we can chase this dark together
if you go then so will i
there is nothing left of you
i can see it in your eyes
sing the anthem of the angels
and say the last goodbye
i keep holding on to you
but i can't bring you back to live
sing the anthem of the angels
and say the last goodbye
Sheppard ran around the corner and saw Rodney standing perfectly still. The body of one of those "zombies" was laying on the ground and there was blood everywhere. As soon as John's eyes locked with Rodney's he knew. His eyes traveled down to see the open wound on Rodney's left forearm. He had never seen such fear in Rodney McKay's eyes. Rodney pretended to be frightened easily, and a lot of times he was. But this was different. This was true fear, complete terror. It was a hopeless kind of fear that swallowed a person whole.
The sudden realization hit John like a punch to the gut and he almost doubled over. "McKay?" Rodney simply shook his head, and John could see the tears forming in Rodney's eyes. "No... you're not... you're fine."
"I'm not."
"Yes you are." He refused to believe it. John had already been forced to watch his friend, almost lover, fade away. He'd almost lost him too many times before, he wasn't about to lose him now. "Let's go, they're waiting."
"I can't Sheppard." Rodney closed his eyes and took a deep breathe to try and halt the shaking in his hands. This is the end, he thought.
"No." John swallowed back the fear and pain inside him.
"Sheppard, please. I don't...." His mind flashed back to Radek and the madness in the man's eyes. There was nothing left of him. "I can't... please, John."
"I'm not-"
Rodney took the opportunity to approach Sheppard. He stood only inches from John and looked him straight in the eyes. "You have to." John said nothing. He shook his head, and Rodney knew. He knew what had to be done. He took Sheppard's hand, still holding the gun with his finger on the trigger. McKay pressed the gun against his own chest and forced a smile onto his face. Without a word he pulled the trigger.
John couldn't even catch him as he fell to the ground. The soldier was in shock. He stood frozen in place with the gun in his hand. Finally he dropped the gun and sank to his knees next to McKay. "Rodney," he whispered. "Rodney..." He saw the color fading from Rodney's skin. John picked the man up in his arms and held him close. "You... you did good." He bit his bottom lip, to keep back the tears. John could not bring himself to say goodbye. He had sworn months ago that he would not say goodbye. John sat holding McKay as he took his final breath. When it was said and done, he pulled Rodney up and pressed his lips against the man's forehead and a single tear fell down his face.
♫ MERCY IN DARKNESS;;two steps from hell
John/Rodney - Rodney's death cont.
(instrumental)
♫ DEAR AGONY;;breaking benjamin
i have nothing left; i have found the perfect end
you were made to make it hurt, disappear into the dirt
carry me to heaven's arms; light the way and let me go
take the time to take my breath; i will end where i began
----------
suddenly the lights go out; let forever drag me down
i will fight for one last breath; i will fight until the end
dear agony, just let go of me
suffer slowly; is this the way its gotta be
don't bury me; faceless enemy
i'm so sorry; is this the way its gotta be
dear agony
"Its him," Cas whispered to the not-Dean that stood next to him, as a group of people walked into the camp. New refugees. The one in front appeared to be the leader. He was also the only one dressed in military clothes.
"Him who," the past Dean asked. His doppelganger of sorts stood on the other side of Castiel.
"The vessel."
"What vessel," both Deans asked in unison. They looked up at each other and raised an eyebrow, then quickly looked away and shivered.
"Michael's."
The present (or future depending on how you look at it) Dean grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and spun him around. "What do you mean Michael's vessel? I thought I was the only one on the planet capable of being Michael's vessel."
"You were," Castiel answered.
---------------------------
John thought about his choices. Castiel had been very clear. It was unlikely that Michael would even make an appearance. He never did for Dean the many times Dean begged. It was worth a chance, at least that was what they all kept saying. It was worth it to try and save the world, though John could not exactly figure out what world he was trying to save. There was hardly anything left of this one. There was nothing to save anymore.
John had lost the last thing that meant anything to him. He had an empty place in his now cold heart. There was no reason to say yes to this angel. To give up control of his body to save a world that didn't matter to him. But when he thought about it. It made sense in his mind. Give up his body, give up his mind. Give up the pain. The pain that gnawed away at him every day since Rodney's death. This was his chance to be rid of it all.
There was a time when John Sheppard would have taken the higher road. He would have said no, and continued fighting and living with the pain. That John Sheppard was dead now. It only seemed right that he die altogether. John's eyes locked with Castiel's. "I'll do it."
♫ UNDER MY SKIN;;trading yesterday
PAST!DEAN/CASTIEL
shadow days, come to haunt me here to wrap around me
dark and cold, to hide the sunlight from my eyes
i cannot see far beyond these clouds surrounding
i will not forget that this is not the end
under my skin, under these scars
take me again; tear me apart
i wanna see everything you are
till all that's left, is not myself
----------
take away everything; burn away all of me
and as i break i believe, you will come to rescue
♫ ALL THAT I AM;;rob thomas
PAST!DEAN/CASTIEL
i am the sound of love's arriving echoed softly on the sand
lay your head upon my shoulder, lay your hand within my hand
i give you all that i am
i am the white dove for a soldier ever marching as to war
i would give my life to save you; i stand guarding at your door
i give you all that i am
♫ PROTECTORS OF THE EARTH;;two steps from hell
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
(instrumental)
-----------------------------
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Fandom: Supernatural/Stargate Atlantis
Spoilers: 5.04 "The End" (Supernatural), all five seasons of Atlantis
Characters/Pairing: John/Rodney, Dean/Castiel, Michael/Charlie (OC)
Tracks: 13 (all MP3 format; runtime: 50 minutes)
WARNINGS: This fanmix is based of a fanfiction I am currently writing. There are spoilers for the fic, as well as the above mentioned episodes of each show. And there will be MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH! This is not a happy fanmix.
♫ FIREFLIES AND EMPTY SKIES;;god is an astronaut
(instrumental)
Then there was the leader of this tiny group of runaways, Charlie Taylor, was prepared if only for one reason: her father (who had been a hunter long before he found the infant on the doorstep of his motel room). Her father was killed when the virus first hit.
---------------
Not much made her pause, but as they walked through the woods she spotted a body lying by a faint path through the trees. Charlie moved forward cautiously. She was close enough now to see that whoever it was, they were breathing. Suddenly, like a flash, something moved passed her. "Tristan... ummm... Caleb!" She never could tell them apart. "I said stop." She snapped after approaching the boys. Charlie stood over the body.
It was clearly a man. He had short blonde hair and fair skin and was wearing dark leather clothes. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Tristan (or Caleb) pick up a stick. "Don't you dare," she barked. It was too late though, and the boy jabbed the unconscious body with the stick; his brother quickly followed. "That's enough." She grabbed the sticks away from the boys and pointed back towards the rest of the group. The twins walked back with their heads hung in defeat.
As she knelt down, she pulled a gun from her belt and held it in her right hand. She could see specs of deep red amongst his blonde hair. A head injure. The man began to stir and he rolled over onto his back. Charlie's grip on her gun tightened. "Are you-" She stopped quickly and jumped back as soon as the man's eyelids lifted and yellow cat-like eyes looked back at her.
♫ DUST AND ECHOES;;god is an astronaut
(instrumental)
They had been running for a while, and luckily in these woods it was easy to lose their pursuers. Once Charlie was sure they had managed to escape the Croats she had the group slow down. They had been walking for days now, trying to get to a refugee camp in Kansas City. Everyone was exhausted, but it was safer than trying to drive with a group this large. Charlie glanced back at the group behind her. They were all staring at this stranger, and she had no idea what to make of him. He was no Croat, holy water had absolutely no effect on him. Her mind raced through everything she had come across in her life, and this man didn't fit into any of them.
He was keeping up well enough, walking in front of the group alongside Charlie. "What's going on," he asked in a hushed tone.
"What do you mean what's going on? Where the hell have you been for the past six months?" She shook her head and glanced at him. "Hold up you guys," she said more to the group than the man she was facing. Charlie pulled her backpack off her back and rummaged through it for a minute or so. When she turned back to the stranger she had clothes in her hands. "You'll never make it, walkin' in these woods wearing half a cow. Go over there and put these on. They should fit."
---------------------
They continued walking until just before nightfall when they were forced to stop. The group made their way into a small town and holed up inside an old convenient store. The hours passed quickly and soon most of the group was asleep. Charlie sat on the register, looking out the window at a small empty parking lot. Shuffling from behind her stole her attention away from the clear night's sky. She found the newcomer approaching her quietly. "You really don't know what's going on?" He shook his head. "Its a virus... They call it the Croatoan virus... It's umm... its hard to explain... Basically its like Zombieland out there or something."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Zombies... you know, walking dead... like to eat brains... 28 Days Later... Dawn of the Dead?" He still seemed completely lost by her explanation. "Its a war zone." He understood that. She could see it in his strange yellow eyes. "So what's your story, mystery man?" She pushed herself off the register and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You at least got a name?"
He laughed, almost bitterly. "Michael... I guess."
♫ HERE IN YOUR ARMS;;hellogoodbye
CHARLIE/MICHAEL
i like where you sleep
when you sleep next to me
i like where you sleep, here
cause our lips can touch
and our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch, here
well you are the one,
the one that lies close to me
whispers, "hello"
i miss you quite terribly"
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now there's no place else
i could be but here in your arms.
♫ WITHOUT YOU;;breaking benjamin
CHARLIE/MICHAEL
say something new; i have nothing left
i can't face the dark without you
there's nothing left to lose; the fighting never ends
i can'f face the dark without you
follow me under and pull me apart
i understand there's nothing left
pain so familiar and close to the heart
no more, no less, i won't forget
♫ IN THE HOUSE; IN A HEARTBEAT;;john murphy
(instrumental)
The virus hit before anyone could react. While Atlantis itself was busy fighting off the Wraith, Stargate Command was trying to gain control over the infection. They failed, and were never able to get a message to Atlantis about the virus. It wiped out most of Stargate Command in a matter of hours, and in the process of going back and forth between land and Atlantis, the infection was brought into the city. It spread like wildfire and the city's defenses never caught it. Out of the entire city there were only five survivors. As far as they knew, no one within the SGC survived the outbreak. Atlantis' only survivors were: Teyla Emmagan, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Carson Beckett, and Evan Lorne.
They had been on their own, barely trying to survive, for two days before they were attacked. Their weapons had no effect on the mob, one went down there was another to take its place. "This way," a familiar and surprising voice shouted and someone grabbed McKay by his arm. His heart almost stopped when his eyes fell upon his friend and former leader, John Sheppard. John had been in the SGC when the virus broke out. They all thought he was dead.
--------------
"Help me move these." There were several shelving units within the store. John nodded towards them. Ronon and Sheppard pushed the shelves into place in front of the glass doors. That would not hold them back for long.
"We cannot stay here," Teyla told them.
"Ya' think?" Sheppard smirked slightly. "This probably won't stop them, but it'll slow 'em down. We can sneak out the back, but you have to be as quiet as possible." His eyes fell upon Rodney.
"What? Oh come on!" Rodney let out a loud, exasperated sigh, which only earned an "I told you so" look from Sheppard.
"Let's go." The group quietly made their way out the back door of the drug store and found themselves in an alley. At one end of the alley Sheppard spotted a group of them. "Son of a bitch," he muttered. "Let's go." There was no point in being quiet now, they had been spotted. The team took off running without wasting another second. After turning the corner at the end of the alley, Rodney's foot got caught on something and he slammed into the ground. "McKay!" Sheppard turned on his heels and ran back to Rodney. He held out his hand and pulled the scientist to his feet.
♫ SO LONG, LONESOME;;explosions in the sky
(instrumental)
"What the hell," Rodney shouted when they were absolutely sure they were clear of any threat. "Seriously," he panted. "Were we just running from..."
"Zombies," Carson answered, finishing Rodney's sentence for him.
"Apparently," John laughed. They stopped in a small wooded area and John leaned against a tree. He smiled as he looked over his team and chuckled as Rodney nearly fell over, exaggerating his exhaustion.
"Zombies?" Teyla seemed utterly confused by the term.
"Don't ask," Ronon told her, placing a hand on her shoulder with a small smile on his face. "Just... don't ask."
Teyla nodded, as if Ronon had given her an order. "I think the more important question then, is where is Michael?"
"You lost Michael," Sheppard said quickly. They had found him hiding away on Atlantis some weeks prior, he had been locked up ever since.
"It was bit chaotic Col. Sheppard, especially after the virus hit."
"Maybe the zombies got him," Lorne suggested.
♫ INTO THE NOTHING;;breaking benjamin
screaming on the inside; i'm frail and withered
cover up the wounds that i can't hide
walls that lie between us; the saint within the sinner
i have lost the nerve, but its all right
carry the wounded, shut your eyes
all will be forgiven, none will rise
bury the fallen and lead the blind
i will find the lost, dead inside
into the nothing, faded and weary
i will not leave and let you fall behind
live for the dying, heaven hear me
i know we can make it out alive
stay with me, you're all i have left
i know we can make it out alive
stay with me, you're all i have left
i know we can make it out alive
John woke them early that morning. For the first time they had been able to sleep, or at least rest, in beds after they found an abandoned homeless shelter. Sheppard shoved Rodney, not that McKay had been sleeping. "Let's go. We're heading out early."
Rodney sat up slowly. "What for?"
"McKay," Sheppard snapped, assuming it would silence his friend as it usually did.
Rodney stood and shook his head. "No, Sheppard. Answer me. What for?" What's the point of this? So we find this camp, then what?"
"No Sheppard, we haven't! Don't you get it? Everyone's dead John! Everyone! I watched Zelenka tear Jennifer apart with his bare hands before I..." His voice trailed off and he looked away for a moment. "I had to kill one of my best friends. They're all dead! Everyone... Jeanie... oh God," he whispered. "I have lost everything! There is no happy ending Sheppard! You've seen those things! We have not been through worse. Quit lying for the sake of morale. There's no point! We all know there is no-"
Rodney McKay was silenced by something he would never have believed, not even in his wildest dreams (well, technically that's a lie, the thought had entered one or two rather wild dreams of his). John Sheppard's lips crashed against McKay's, effectively stealing away his breath and any sort of intelligent thought.
-----------------
"You haven't lost everything," John said simply before walking out of the room.
♫ ANTHEM OF THE ANGELS;;breaking benjamin
cold light above us;
hope fills the hearts and fades away
skin white as winter
as the sky returns to grey
days go on forever
but i have not left your side
we can chase this dark together
if you go then so will i
there is nothing left of you
i can see it in your eyes
sing the anthem of the angels
and say the last goodbye
i keep holding on to you
but i can't bring you back to live
sing the anthem of the angels
and say the last goodbye
Sheppard ran around the corner and saw Rodney standing perfectly still. The body of one of those "zombies" was laying on the ground and there was blood everywhere. As soon as John's eyes locked with Rodney's he knew. His eyes traveled down to see the open wound on Rodney's left forearm. He had never seen such fear in Rodney McKay's eyes. Rodney pretended to be frightened easily, and a lot of times he was. But this was different. This was true fear, complete terror. It was a hopeless kind of fear that swallowed a person whole.
The sudden realization hit John like a punch to the gut and he almost doubled over. "McKay?" Rodney simply shook his head, and John could see the tears forming in Rodney's eyes. "No... you're not... you're fine."
"I'm not."
"Yes you are." He refused to believe it. John had already been forced to watch his friend, almost lover, fade away. He'd almost lost him too many times before, he wasn't about to lose him now. "Let's go, they're waiting."
"I can't Sheppard." Rodney closed his eyes and took a deep breathe to try and halt the shaking in his hands. This is the end, he thought.
"No." John swallowed back the fear and pain inside him.
"Sheppard, please. I don't...." His mind flashed back to Radek and the madness in the man's eyes. There was nothing left of him. "I can't... please, John."
"I'm not-"
Rodney took the opportunity to approach Sheppard. He stood only inches from John and looked him straight in the eyes. "You have to." John said nothing. He shook his head, and Rodney knew. He knew what had to be done. He took Sheppard's hand, still holding the gun with his finger on the trigger. McKay pressed the gun against his own chest and forced a smile onto his face. Without a word he pulled the trigger.
John couldn't even catch him as he fell to the ground. The soldier was in shock. He stood frozen in place with the gun in his hand. Finally he dropped the gun and sank to his knees next to McKay. "Rodney," he whispered. "Rodney..." He saw the color fading from Rodney's skin. John picked the man up in his arms and held him close. "You... you did good." He bit his bottom lip, to keep back the tears. John could not bring himself to say goodbye. He had sworn months ago that he would not say goodbye. John sat holding McKay as he took his final breath. When it was said and done, he pulled Rodney up and pressed his lips against the man's forehead and a single tear fell down his face.
♫ MERCY IN DARKNESS;;two steps from hell
John/Rodney - Rodney's death cont.
(instrumental)
♫ DEAR AGONY;;breaking benjamin
i have nothing left; i have found the perfect end
you were made to make it hurt, disappear into the dirt
carry me to heaven's arms; light the way and let me go
take the time to take my breath; i will end where i began
----------
suddenly the lights go out; let forever drag me down
i will fight for one last breath; i will fight until the end
dear agony, just let go of me
suffer slowly; is this the way its gotta be
don't bury me; faceless enemy
i'm so sorry; is this the way its gotta be
dear agony
"Its him," Cas whispered to the not-Dean that stood next to him, as a group of people walked into the camp. New refugees. The one in front appeared to be the leader. He was also the only one dressed in military clothes.
"Him who," the past Dean asked. His doppelganger of sorts stood on the other side of Castiel.
"The vessel."
"What vessel," both Deans asked in unison. They looked up at each other and raised an eyebrow, then quickly looked away and shivered.
"Michael's."
The present (or future depending on how you look at it) Dean grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and spun him around. "What do you mean Michael's vessel? I thought I was the only one on the planet capable of being Michael's vessel."
"You were," Castiel answered.
---------------------------
John thought about his choices. Castiel had been very clear. It was unlikely that Michael would even make an appearance. He never did for Dean the many times Dean begged. It was worth a chance, at least that was what they all kept saying. It was worth it to try and save the world, though John could not exactly figure out what world he was trying to save. There was hardly anything left of this one. There was nothing to save anymore.
John had lost the last thing that meant anything to him. He had an empty place in his now cold heart. There was no reason to say yes to this angel. To give up control of his body to save a world that didn't matter to him. But when he thought about it. It made sense in his mind. Give up his body, give up his mind. Give up the pain. The pain that gnawed away at him every day since Rodney's death. This was his chance to be rid of it all.
There was a time when John Sheppard would have taken the higher road. He would have said no, and continued fighting and living with the pain. That John Sheppard was dead now. It only seemed right that he die altogether. John's eyes locked with Castiel's. "I'll do it."
♫ UNDER MY SKIN;;trading yesterday
PAST!DEAN/CASTIEL
shadow days, come to haunt me here to wrap around me
dark and cold, to hide the sunlight from my eyes
i cannot see far beyond these clouds surrounding
i will not forget that this is not the end
under my skin, under these scars
take me again; tear me apart
i wanna see everything you are
till all that's left, is not myself
----------
take away everything; burn away all of me
and as i break i believe, you will come to rescue
♫ ALL THAT I AM;;rob thomas
PAST!DEAN/CASTIEL
i am the sound of love's arriving echoed softly on the sand
lay your head upon my shoulder, lay your hand within my hand
i give you all that i am
i am the white dove for a soldier ever marching as to war
i would give my life to save you; i stand guarding at your door
i give you all that i am
♫ PROTECTORS OF THE EARTH;;two steps from hell
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
(instrumental)
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