Buried Alive?
I
just finished reading Barack Obama's book Dreams from My Father.
I was
not disappointed by the book's descriptive lyrical sentences. I
described this book to my dad who noticed I was reading
while
we were eating dinner at Old Country Buffet. He asked me what it was
about and I gave him a brief synposis. Then he picked the book
for a minute, turned it the book and studied it some more. I told my
father that I saw Senator Obama at Dekalb when he visited. In a
crowded library room. I remember the visit hazily now but clearly I
remembered how he spoke to the people. He spoke honestly, and with a
firm belief that is refreshing for a Freshman Senator. Most of all I
remember how he spoke. I described it to myself as lyrical. The only
way I can explain it now that I think about it. While I was talking to
my father about his book, that was how I described his book, I said to
my father. "He writes the way he speaks." I don't know if that made
sense to my dad but at the time It made sense to me.
His book made me think about the confusion over coming to terms with his father after making a trip to Kenya and as a African American. it made me think about my own future and the confusion my children will face.
I don't know how else to phrase my questions, reflections thoughts without rambling. But, I doubt many people will care.
Will the opinons of the world swallow my heritage, my culture, my identity so I bury my feelings deep inside so I don't know who I am. As an adult will my failures and hurts of this world bury my heart so I become unfeeling, stone hearted against the cruelty of the world. Or will I be swallowed by magpieism? So entranced by shiny things that I won't even stop being so self centered and look around the things that matters more then celebrities, clothes, popularism, make-up, wealth and moving up the social ladder? Will I be buried alive under all this by the time I'm in my thirties too indifferent to care?
I'm twenty years old. I've seen, heard and experienced things I shouldn't have as a child, but has made me more stronger growing up. Northern has taught me two lessons about friendships and people I should have been more the wiser to know but I've faithfully ignored:
1. Friends come and go but the ones who stick with you are the ones you will cherish till the end.
2. People stab you in the back all the time. It hurts when it happens but you learn to deal.
I know these are obvious things but I have ignored both rules and painfully learned both. Because of lesson #2 I have become more distrustful toward people. I am becoming indifferent, tired and buried alive.
I don't know what else to say or how else to put my thoughts to words. Maybe in a different entry I will find my words and thoughts again. I have a goal as long as I am at Northern.
Goal:
1. Restore the fountain.
The fountain is my favorite spot at Northern. It is a shallow pond in the middle of a few of the academic buildings. People pass it all the time and some carelessly throw garbage into the water stream. I thought they were going to fix it last summer but it is still empty. I love to sit down and watch the waters stream by when the weather heats up feed the ducks pieces of bread. I want to plead to the University to fix it so it can be fully restored. I will probably give Northern another year to fix it and if not..then I will go into action. Wish me luck!
I still think I am going crazy about being buried alive. But its not the first time I've been paranoid.
Until I gather up my thoughts again....
~Jenny Lieu~
His book made me think about the confusion over coming to terms with his father after making a trip to Kenya and as a African American. it made me think about my own future and the confusion my children will face.
I don't know how else to phrase my questions, reflections thoughts without rambling. But, I doubt many people will care.
Will the opinons of the world swallow my heritage, my culture, my identity so I bury my feelings deep inside so I don't know who I am. As an adult will my failures and hurts of this world bury my heart so I become unfeeling, stone hearted against the cruelty of the world. Or will I be swallowed by magpieism? So entranced by shiny things that I won't even stop being so self centered and look around the things that matters more then celebrities, clothes, popularism, make-up, wealth and moving up the social ladder? Will I be buried alive under all this by the time I'm in my thirties too indifferent to care?
I'm twenty years old. I've seen, heard and experienced things I shouldn't have as a child, but has made me more stronger growing up. Northern has taught me two lessons about friendships and people I should have been more the wiser to know but I've faithfully ignored:
1. Friends come and go but the ones who stick with you are the ones you will cherish till the end.
2. People stab you in the back all the time. It hurts when it happens but you learn to deal.
I know these are obvious things but I have ignored both rules and painfully learned both. Because of lesson #2 I have become more distrustful toward people. I am becoming indifferent, tired and buried alive.
I don't know what else to say or how else to put my thoughts to words. Maybe in a different entry I will find my words and thoughts again. I have a goal as long as I am at Northern.
Goal:
1. Restore the fountain.
The fountain is my favorite spot at Northern. It is a shallow pond in the middle of a few of the academic buildings. People pass it all the time and some carelessly throw garbage into the water stream. I thought they were going to fix it last summer but it is still empty. I love to sit down and watch the waters stream by when the weather heats up feed the ducks pieces of bread. I want to plead to the University to fix it so it can be fully restored. I will probably give Northern another year to fix it and if not..then I will go into action. Wish me luck!
I still think I am going crazy about being buried alive. But its not the first time I've been paranoid.
Until I gather up my thoughts again....
~Jenny Lieu~