24 Hours and Loving My Life.
I'm so happy in my life! I'm really happy.
I HAVE to write about the last 24 hours because it's been so beautiful because it was so simple. I want to remember how I feel right now. Today was another reminder of how much my life has changed and how much I feel it's all fallen into place in the last year and a half.
Yesterday I woke up sick. My heart has been really sick lately--the last month I would say--and then I woke up with the horrendous sore throat and cough that's been going around. I went to work and felt yucky but we got finished with work HOURS early and this day I didn't mind because it was exactly what I needed! I came home with a coworker and went to bed for a couple hours before my dinner date with Julie.
Julie came and got me around 5:30 and we went to what's become our usual spot and I love it. But firstwe went and got meds at a "K-Roger" as she was sick as well. On the way to dinner I somehow ran into Shawn again! He has popped up so much lately that at this point I wasn't as surprised but believe there is a reason I keep randomly running into him. But this time he was in the car next to us on a busy street and I did the double take, feeling that feeling like someone is watching me and he just starting waving and mouthed something. I was excited and waved back and tried to figure how to roll the window down but couldn't in Julie's car so he sat and waited at his green light until cars were honking and he had to go. I was so happy! that he waved (which is good he seems cool to see me, not upset and all that stuff from the past) and it wasn't weird because I couldn't be caught off guard this way. I decided that I may walk over to his job tomorrow to just say hi and see how his life has turned out since I last saw him when I was 20. I've prayed and wished well for him for all these years so it'd be nice to see how he is.
We went to the dinner, then, Julie and I and ate and talked for hours and it was awesome. Once again I see how I must have been meant to meet her. I love her so much and it's been years since I really felt like I had a girlfriend that I could be so open and cozy with. I really love her so much. I truly do and am so happy I have her in my life!
*****THIS IS THE PART WHERE I WRITE IN ACTUAL WORDS THAT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. ;) And his name is BRAD.******
Brad and I talked after the dinner and he came over around 10:30 to hang out. He had just come over the day before and watched the movie with T* and a couple of the guys who are always hanging out at the house. That made me so happy! T* and Brad got on so well and hit it off right away. They've met a few times before as he and his brother--my *lovely boy work friend, remember!--have come to check out the house and just say hey. But they really got to talk for awhile while I was on the phone and in the middle of something. OK, so then last night Brad knew I was ill so he came by and I was getting ready to make something hot for my throat when he took over and made this big pot of soup for me and went and made my bed all cozy to sit up in and just lay around. He was so wonderful! At this point I'd finally decided I was not going to work the next day so I knew I could stay up and eat and talk with him. We were up for hours and it was good. He stayed here last night just taking care of me and holding me tight even though I could have been contagious;) This morning when I had a hard time getting up feeling sicker and all he woke me and got me up to the bathroom and to call one of my bosses. The we went back to sleep for a time. We didn't sleep too much. My bed has the springs popping out alot now (but thanks, Randy, I love the bed and am happy to have it!) so it was hard to get too comfortable feeling yucky. Brad brought by a foam mattress thing like the one Randy used to have on it and is going to help me put it on the bed this weekend so it's not pokey in the bed and giving me weird marks anymore, yay!
We got up this morning and Brad had the day off so we went and got SANDWICHES! (which are love) and went to his house and watched talk shows and I took more meds. Then *lovely boy came home and it was so good to see him! I haven't talked to him since Monday which has been tough because since we both work at the Big Co. we are chatting all through the day and being silly and fun. It was good to look at his gorgeous face! He picked up his daughter and then came in, not seeming surprised to see me as he was one who kept encouraging me to take a day of the week away from work so I think he was glad to see me resting although he said he was bored without me there today. We talked while Brad played with the little girl and then Brad (he is a musician, him and *lovely boy had the same band for like 7 years and I finally listened to a Cd of theirs this past week after months of talk about the music). anyhow, Brad went to play drums which was awesome as he said he needed a little time before showing me that side of him as he was nervous (I totally understand;) So this was sooner than I'd expected. They finally finshed allthe basics of their music room, soundproofing and things just the other day so they were excited to play. They asked me to watch the little girl so they could both go and play me some songs and I could hear them together all live finally--how fun! They were awesome but they kept talking about being rusty and want to play really great for me. It was sweet. Then we all sat on the bathroom floor while the little girl got her bath. Then *lovely's boy's finacee came home and we made fish for dinner. I was feeling really weak and my head was killing me so I went to lay down for a nap while the boy's watched the food. Then when food was done I got ill and I felt really bad but they were all so wonderful to me! They're so loving and make me feel at home and I truly love them so much. *lovely boy gave me a sweater of his to keep warm and Brad set up pillows and blankets and the fiancee asked about meds and things. The fiancee is opening up more and isn't as threatened it seems right now and I'm so happy! She was worried too and we got to talk a little more tonight and it was just all good and mellow. Brad and I watched tv in his room for a few hours after eating and just laid around and talked. It was hard to say goodbye because we've had such a great time with each other lately and everyday learning new things but we all said our goodnights and I came home. We realized that I was leaving his house exactly 24 hours after after he had come to see me the night before and stayed with me while I was sick.
While I was there, though, I told *lovely boy that Brad and I are together now as I didn't want to make it a big deal and get too scared when we decided to start seeing each other recently. I know Brad wants to share things like this happiness with his brother so I told him I would go ahead and tell him. He said he knew, he could just tell and was happy for us. I thanked him for playing matchmaker last month over this and told him that I found out some of his plan to get us together;) He said then he had just known we would go together and he was right. I asked Brad to give him a hug from us both later for this. What's very cool and makes me more happy about this situation is that they are a lovely real family. These brothers really love each other and it's so nice to see and also it's cool that *lovely boy and I are friends and knew each other first so everything is good and peaceful and cozy with it all and just feels safe.
I'm still scared, though. I want to not rush with some things and do things the right way. I feel afraid when I admit happiness with a boy that I will jinx it and it will go away but I'm not going to run this time because it's not worth it! I want to remain calm in my heart and let this nice boy be good to me and not have "the fear" with this.
It's nice to be home and getting ready for bed and knowing tomorrow is Friday. I'm looking forward to seeing some of my coworkers--even some of the negative ones because I want to share my happy heart with them as well and make them feel good.
When I got in tonight I got into the shower and cried because I am happy. I feel so happy that I'm not running and that I have great friends and the hope that never left my heart when things were tough with life. I remembered when I was sad the year before last and worried I wouldn't be happy again and doubted others' love. I feel the love in everything anymore! I wanted one great new friend to trust then and I have many great friends who love me and are true and there for me. I feel so lucky and blessed:) Tonight I was just remembering going through toughness and sure it's been crazy here and there since then but every day truly is a new day and I see the proof that life can be great to you if you keep that faith in your heart that it will. I like how one really nice day or how little things out of love can make you so grateful for what you have. I like that I can live peacefully and make my own choices. I like that even when it's CRAZY crappy around that I can still be positive. I like how I feel that God has been watching out for me always--I love that feeling:)
Ok, I am so very sleepy and must be up in 5 hours so I must say goodnight!
I hope everyone's night is so lovely and that tomorrow is the most beautiful day yet!
Love and *hugs*,
D.
I HAVE to write about the last 24 hours because it's been so beautiful because it was so simple. I want to remember how I feel right now. Today was another reminder of how much my life has changed and how much I feel it's all fallen into place in the last year and a half.
Yesterday I woke up sick. My heart has been really sick lately--the last month I would say--and then I woke up with the horrendous sore throat and cough that's been going around. I went to work and felt yucky but we got finished with work HOURS early and this day I didn't mind because it was exactly what I needed! I came home with a coworker and went to bed for a couple hours before my dinner date with Julie.
Julie came and got me around 5:30 and we went to what's become our usual spot and I love it. But firstwe went and got meds at a "K-Roger" as she was sick as well. On the way to dinner I somehow ran into Shawn again! He has popped up so much lately that at this point I wasn't as surprised but believe there is a reason I keep randomly running into him. But this time he was in the car next to us on a busy street and I did the double take, feeling that feeling like someone is watching me and he just starting waving and mouthed something. I was excited and waved back and tried to figure how to roll the window down but couldn't in Julie's car so he sat and waited at his green light until cars were honking and he had to go. I was so happy! that he waved (which is good he seems cool to see me, not upset and all that stuff from the past) and it wasn't weird because I couldn't be caught off guard this way. I decided that I may walk over to his job tomorrow to just say hi and see how his life has turned out since I last saw him when I was 20. I've prayed and wished well for him for all these years so it'd be nice to see how he is.
We went to the dinner, then, Julie and I and ate and talked for hours and it was awesome. Once again I see how I must have been meant to meet her. I love her so much and it's been years since I really felt like I had a girlfriend that I could be so open and cozy with. I really love her so much. I truly do and am so happy I have her in my life!
*****THIS IS THE PART WHERE I WRITE IN ACTUAL WORDS THAT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. ;) And his name is BRAD.******
Brad and I talked after the dinner and he came over around 10:30 to hang out. He had just come over the day before and watched the movie with T* and a couple of the guys who are always hanging out at the house. That made me so happy! T* and Brad got on so well and hit it off right away. They've met a few times before as he and his brother--my *lovely boy work friend, remember!--have come to check out the house and just say hey. But they really got to talk for awhile while I was on the phone and in the middle of something. OK, so then last night Brad knew I was ill so he came by and I was getting ready to make something hot for my throat when he took over and made this big pot of soup for me and went and made my bed all cozy to sit up in and just lay around. He was so wonderful! At this point I'd finally decided I was not going to work the next day so I knew I could stay up and eat and talk with him. We were up for hours and it was good. He stayed here last night just taking care of me and holding me tight even though I could have been contagious;) This morning when I had a hard time getting up feeling sicker and all he woke me and got me up to the bathroom and to call one of my bosses. The we went back to sleep for a time. We didn't sleep too much. My bed has the springs popping out alot now (but thanks, Randy, I love the bed and am happy to have it!) so it was hard to get too comfortable feeling yucky. Brad brought by a foam mattress thing like the one Randy used to have on it and is going to help me put it on the bed this weekend so it's not pokey in the bed and giving me weird marks anymore, yay!
We got up this morning and Brad had the day off so we went and got SANDWICHES! (which are love) and went to his house and watched talk shows and I took more meds. Then *lovely boy came home and it was so good to see him! I haven't talked to him since Monday which has been tough because since we both work at the Big Co. we are chatting all through the day and being silly and fun. It was good to look at his gorgeous face! He picked up his daughter and then came in, not seeming surprised to see me as he was one who kept encouraging me to take a day of the week away from work so I think he was glad to see me resting although he said he was bored without me there today. We talked while Brad played with the little girl and then Brad (he is a musician, him and *lovely boy had the same band for like 7 years and I finally listened to a Cd of theirs this past week after months of talk about the music). anyhow, Brad went to play drums which was awesome as he said he needed a little time before showing me that side of him as he was nervous (I totally understand;) So this was sooner than I'd expected. They finally finshed allthe basics of their music room, soundproofing and things just the other day so they were excited to play. They asked me to watch the little girl so they could both go and play me some songs and I could hear them together all live finally--how fun! They were awesome but they kept talking about being rusty and want to play really great for me. It was sweet. Then we all sat on the bathroom floor while the little girl got her bath. Then *lovely's boy's finacee came home and we made fish for dinner. I was feeling really weak and my head was killing me so I went to lay down for a nap while the boy's watched the food. Then when food was done I got ill and I felt really bad but they were all so wonderful to me! They're so loving and make me feel at home and I truly love them so much. *lovely boy gave me a sweater of his to keep warm and Brad set up pillows and blankets and the fiancee asked about meds and things. The fiancee is opening up more and isn't as threatened it seems right now and I'm so happy! She was worried too and we got to talk a little more tonight and it was just all good and mellow. Brad and I watched tv in his room for a few hours after eating and just laid around and talked. It was hard to say goodbye because we've had such a great time with each other lately and everyday learning new things but we all said our goodnights and I came home. We realized that I was leaving his house exactly 24 hours after after he had come to see me the night before and stayed with me while I was sick.
While I was there, though, I told *lovely boy that Brad and I are together now as I didn't want to make it a big deal and get too scared when we decided to start seeing each other recently. I know Brad wants to share things like this happiness with his brother so I told him I would go ahead and tell him. He said he knew, he could just tell and was happy for us. I thanked him for playing matchmaker last month over this and told him that I found out some of his plan to get us together;) He said then he had just known we would go together and he was right. I asked Brad to give him a hug from us both later for this. What's very cool and makes me more happy about this situation is that they are a lovely real family. These brothers really love each other and it's so nice to see and also it's cool that *lovely boy and I are friends and knew each other first so everything is good and peaceful and cozy with it all and just feels safe.
I'm still scared, though. I want to not rush with some things and do things the right way. I feel afraid when I admit happiness with a boy that I will jinx it and it will go away but I'm not going to run this time because it's not worth it! I want to remain calm in my heart and let this nice boy be good to me and not have "the fear" with this.
It's nice to be home and getting ready for bed and knowing tomorrow is Friday. I'm looking forward to seeing some of my coworkers--even some of the negative ones because I want to share my happy heart with them as well and make them feel good.
When I got in tonight I got into the shower and cried because I am happy. I feel so happy that I'm not running and that I have great friends and the hope that never left my heart when things were tough with life. I remembered when I was sad the year before last and worried I wouldn't be happy again and doubted others' love. I feel the love in everything anymore! I wanted one great new friend to trust then and I have many great friends who love me and are true and there for me. I feel so lucky and blessed:) Tonight I was just remembering going through toughness and sure it's been crazy here and there since then but every day truly is a new day and I see the proof that life can be great to you if you keep that faith in your heart that it will. I like how one really nice day or how little things out of love can make you so grateful for what you have. I like that I can live peacefully and make my own choices. I like that even when it's CRAZY crappy around that I can still be positive. I like how I feel that God has been watching out for me always--I love that feeling:)
Ok, I am so very sleepy and must be up in 5 hours so I must say goodnight!
I hope everyone's night is so lovely and that tomorrow is the most beautiful day yet!
Love and *hugs*,
D.