LJ Idol-Week Two Topic: Deconstruction
I shut my eyes when I heard him enter the room. He didn’t ask me to, but I liked it. I liked the mystery of his movements blending into air against my skin. He said hello to me, I smiled back leaning my head down in obeisance. I didn’t have to, there were no rules for this, no protocols for the night, but I knew what stirred him. I ( Read more... )
"...she's being what he wants."
"It seems countintutive..."
"Why does she have to be anything, really?"
She is being what he wants, but that doesn't negate what she wants; the two can compliment each other. Plus, most lovers when enticing the other do what turns the other on, but again it doesn't mean it doesn't turn them on as well.
She does want to be "someone else" in the sense that she feels she has to be one thing/person for family, friends, and the general public, but can be something/someone else for him and with him.
The portion you speak of as being counterintutive is simply stating her perceived transition into one sense of self into another.
The whole piece actually references the idea that the narrator lives in two worlds, one where she is acceptable to common social mores that would not approve of the other side of her, the one where she feels acceptable to her own personal mores which blend in and compliment his.
And you're right, she doesn't "have to" be anything in a general sense. However, she feels pressure to be something and in this instance chooses to be what she wants rather than what she feels pressured to be.
The latter part of that sentence can seem contradictory to some in terms of BDSM or a D/s relationship. It is only contradictory if one sees the master's and in this case the male's desire in opposition to the slave's/female's desire. It is a misconception that a slave is forced into things she doesn't want to be. In most cases, setting aside abusive relationships, she does want the things he wants. Here, we get into many different levels of want. Some want to be pushed beyond what they want and others don't. It really depends on the person and the people involved in that type of relationship.
Basically, a healthy relationship, whether it be BDSM related or not, is one where mutual satisfaction occurs and giving goes both ways and should not be seen as "giving in" (without looking into the actuality of what's going on).
Of course, I'm not sure exactly what you're questioning so I may have just written a bunch of things you already know and am missing the point of your questions.
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First off, I just wanted to say that I hope I didn't make you feel like you had to be defensive about this piece. Truthfully, your post made me think and every question I left above was just my way of showing interest. I really hope that came through.
I see what you're saying here and it definitely sounds like a very intricate, very complicated matter.
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